Postal Service Celebrates Another Awesome Day Of Delivering Mail

[madinmaryland]

WASHINGTON—Emphatic cheers of "We did it again!" and "USPS is the best!" rang out from the nation's post offices Tuesday as the United States Postal Service celebrated yet another amazing day of successfully delivering the country's mail.

At 5:01 p.m., Postmaster General Patrick R. Donahoe popped a champagne cork as confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling of USPS's Washington headquarters and joyous employees cartwheeled in unison through the hallways, sources reported. Amidst the revelry, postal workers congratulated and hugged one another for once again delivering all 584 million pieces of the day's mail to their proper destinations.

"You can put another great day of delivering mail in the books, fellas!" said the jubilant postmaster general, who was greeted with thunderous applause and random cheers of "No mail is junk mail!" by his employees. "We sorted, we accumulated, we delivered. And you know what? We did it together. I love you guys!"

"Everyone in America got their magazines!" added Donahoe, who was then hoisted onto the shoulders of several D.C. postmen and carried into the courtyard where a 20-piece orchestra was playing "Signed, Sealed, Delivered."

Read more: http://www.theonion.com/articles/postal-service-celebrates-another-awesome-day-of-d,19348/

:wtf: Our mail does not come until nearly 6:00pm