What are some things you wish you'd known about wedding dresses before you bought one?

[BlueIris]

Yes, there is a theme to my OPs lately, isn't there?

(Post-post-Valentine's Day let down thread.)

[LynneSin]

1. It's a way to spend thousands of dollars for a dress you'll wear once in your lifetime

I had a friend that spend way over $10k on her wedding dress only to get divorced like 11 months later.

It's a racket, seriously!

[BlueIris]

2. Oh, I know it's a racket. No one has to tell me "Don't spend too much," BTW.

As some of you know from my posting history, I'm not getting married anytime soon. I don't think. And I've always been all :wtf: at people who spend as much or more on their weddings, or any part of their weddings, than they would on the down payment for a house.

This thread is mostly for my amusement, and the public service announcement benefits some future brides may draw from it.

[trof]

30. Bingo. (Father-of-the-Bride)

They've gotcha.
When your only child is getting married, price (within your means) is no object.
Still, it was a lovely wedding.
:-)

[Bunny]

3. I rejected this one, because

it didn't show off my boobs enough:


:eyes:

[BlueIris]

4. Heh. Sad thing is, that dress probably looks really attractive to some.

I do not get the modern trend toward sleeveless, strapless, backless, tasteless wedding gowns. I'm not saying I expect all women to want to go medieval or Victorian, but some (read: most) of the gowns I've looked at popular designer's sites are just awful.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. That is just awful. Like she wanted to wear a too-tight one, and they had to cut room for boobs.

"No, I want to wear this dress!" stamps foot repeatedly. Cries.

"But it doesn't fit you!" says the tailor.

"I don't care!!!!" rolls on floor, frothing at mouth, kicking and screaming and pounding the floor. "It's MY special day, goddammit, and the ENTIRE WORLD is waiting to see me beautiful and perfect and virginal because it's MY DAY!!!!!!!!" rolls around some more.

Tailor gives her a 5 gallon pail of Chunky Monkey to calm her down. "Okay, okay. Sheesh. Look we'll just make a slit in the front and wrap it around the bottom of your boobs."

"Oooh, that'll be sexy, too," she says rudely and grotesquely with easily an imperial quart of ice cream in her mouth, "And it will make all my bridesmaids even more jealous! Why don't add another $500 to the cost of their dresses, too? Fuck them. This is MY day!!!" She throws remaining 4 ounces of ice cream and the pail at her father. "And I want a veil, too, you cheap son of a bitch bastard! And it better cost more than $1500 because that's what Cindy's cost! This is MY day!!!! It's all about MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

[dawg]

11. I cannot imagine marriage going well for that nice looking young man.

But, ya know, maybe I'm just a prude. (Or an *elitist* or something)

[NewJeffCT]

13. I notice the eyes of the guy in the picture

are angled downwards...

[dawg]

14. Sympathies also go to the minister.

I'm not a minister, but I can imagine. I'd be so self-conscious that I was going to look, that who knows what I'd mess up.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a grown man and I don't go helpless just 'case a woman shows me most of her boobs. But whenever I try to force myself *not* to look at something, hilarity ensues. (Even if it was something I didn't really want to look at in the first place.)

[NewJeffCT]

15. It's hard not to look at the bride at a wedding, though

and, if somebody is dressed like that, it's human nature to at least glance in the direction of the cleavage...

[JBoy]

5. The guy isn't supposed to wear one.

[EnviroBat]

6. Dunno, that they look better on women I guess...

Would have saved me PLENTY!

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. That after the wedding, it likely just rots in a closet somewhere, so shoulda saved the money

and bought a dress that can be worn again.

[seabeyond]

8. didnt have one. eloped. lol. theme to mine, too. nt

[BlueIris]

9. Your elopement had a theme? What wuzzit?

Or were you kidding?

[seabeyond]

12. you had engagement ring post. i didnt want an engagement ring.

now, wedding dress. i didnt have one

my theme....

i dont like the promp or expense. lol

you said your posts have a theme

[Kali]

16. that you need to order it first thing

because they MIGHT send the wrong length and you won't have time to get another and then you will look a little doofy with your too short dress

nothing like a flood gown:eyes:

[MorningGlow]

17. You don't NEED to have a strapless one just because

every bride for the past 7 years has worn ONLY strapless. Some brides do not look good in strapless dresses; recognize this and accept it. (Not you, BI--I mean some of the eedjits who insist on following the herd and not knowing why. :P)

Also, more crap on it does not mean it's prettier. My dress was cream-colored brushed satin (VERY thick, heavy fabric, very nice), and the only adornment it had was a rope of pears at the hip. The bodice was cap-sleeve, scoop neck front and back. I loved it.

More advice: small bridal shops are far more pleasant to deal with than giant places like David's Bridal.

Oh yeah--and once you "click" with a dress, you do NOT need to keep shopping. I found mine in one evening; it was the fourth dress I tried on. My mom wanted me to keep shopping but...why, yanno? :)

[blueamy66]

19. I refuse to buy a strapless dress.

I have found MANY dresses for under $200 that are beautiful.

I cannot imagine paying more than $1000 for a wedding dress.

[mikeytherat]

22. Mrs. Rat had one of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen - $750 total.

Still married over 20 years later!

mikey_the_rat

[blueamy66]

48. Yeah!

I hope we make it that long!!!

[BlueIris]

44. I just do. not. get. the strapless craze.

I think those dresses are gross.

[MorningGlow]

46. Lemming-itis

x(

[seaglass]

18. That my mom was supposed to come with me to pick it out?

When I had my mom come to look at the dress I had bought what I thought were tears of happiness were tears of hatred - she despised my dress and had no problem sharing that with me.

And my mom was not the type to be critical of me so it did freak me out - I am not a fashionista (I like both Scarlett Johanssen's Oscar hair and Cate Blanchett's dress - except the green parts :-))so figured I had picked something really bad.

I spent $300 on my dress - it didn't break the bank and I am glad I didn't spend more.

[xchrom]

20. there are bridal gowns to every taste and budget.

some people are tacky -- others not so much.

[DoBotherMe]

21. Foundation garments are essential

Sometimes expensive, but essential to the bride's comfort, ease of movement, and an attractive silhouette. Dana ; )

[Maine-ah]

23. well...I dunno

been married for 10 years. I bought my dress second hand for $100, didn't need any alterations and it was the first one I tried on. Since I hate shopping to begin with, I said, good enough lol.

[DebJ]

24. That I should have scheduled a fitting within 2 weeks of the

wedding. I had a strapless gown, which fit perfectly just 2 months before the wedding. Then I went into high gear to get everything done,
and lost 10 lbs. I spent my wedding day trying to not fall out of my dress.

[Dulcinea]

25. My wedding dress cost $250, including alterations!

I found it at a David's Bridal $99 weekend spectacular. It had long sheer sleeves, a tulip-shaped hem & no train, because I got married outside & am not a fru-fru person. I'm too flat-chested for strapless, wanted something simple & elegant, & the wedding was in March, & I refused to freeze my ass off for anyone. I just had to add some padding to the boobs so it hung right.

We'll be married 14 years as of March 22.

[av8rdave]

26. It's what comes inside the wedding dress that's important

Never get fooled by splashy packaging!

[PassingFair]

40. Not to mention what's under the kilt...

My wedding dress ... $300.

His kilt...priceless.

[av8rdave]

42. That photo is priceless!

Beautiful dress! (And nice kilt)

[Bucky]

27. That only the bride has to wear one. God, was I totally embarrassed!

[struggle4progress]

28. Planning A Tasteful Nudist Wedding

... This is your day, and it should be exactly the way you want it to be ... Some of your guests might not want their pictures taken ... The last thing you want to do is to have your guests be surprised to find out that you are having a nudist wedding once they arrive at the ceremony ...

http://www.essortment.com/alternative-lifestyle-weddings-planning-tasteful-nudist-wedding-53054.html

[TroglodyteScholar]

29. I wish I'd known the dress was MUCH MUCH nicer than the bride. n/t

[rbnyc]

31. That they don't fit so well if you get pregnant before your wedding day...

...and if you get in a car accident and sustain multiple pelvic fractures the day before your wedding, you can't wear it at all.

Actually, I knew those things, I just didn't expect them.

I remember planning my wedding, and the dress was a very serious part. I hired a seamstress who worked from my own design. We picked out all the fabrics together. The lace we found to go over the skirt was almost perfect, but not quite. It had beautiful flower embroidery, but was a little too bright so we decided to tea-stain it to take it down. When I received the dress, she had forgotten to tea-stain the lace. It was already sewn into the skirt, so it couldn't be done without tea-staining the whole skirt. So my skirt was too bright and didn't quite match the bodice. I thought this was the worst thing in the world. I had spent so much time designing this dress, choosing fabrics, having fittings. And I spent a lot of money to have a custom dress. I was angry that she had made this mistake and that it hadn't turned out exactly the way I wanted. (Plus, we had been trying to get pregnant for years, and I finally was pregnant and was starting to get bigger, which did not work well with my original design either - but I was happy about that.)

Then, the day before my wedding, a teenage girl ran a red light and drove her car right up into my seat. Next thing I knew, I was being cut out of a car, had multiple fractures on the right side of my body, and was in danger of losing the baby. (I did miscarry in a few days.)

I was married at Stony Brook University Medical Center in a hospital bed wearing a nightgown that had been sliced down the back to fit around me and a diaper. The too-bright flower lace on my wedding dress became incredibly insignificant.

But I'll never, ever forget having my bed wheeled into the orthopedic gym and seeing my husband standing there, waiting for me surrounded by all our friends and family. I'll never forget the nurses who decorated my IV pole with paper wedding bells or making my wedding toast with my morphine drip button. I'll never forget the loving looks of relief and happiness on everyone's faces to see that I looked alive and strong and like myself and like I would recover. I'll never forget the way we were tested and the way we all took joy in the things that are most important - each other.

No matter what you do, weddings don't go according to plan. Mine is an extreme example. But no matter what, something won't be quite right and something will get out of control. It's not important. You know what's important.

Have fun.

:loveya:

[Kali]

33. really nice story

but now something in my damn eye

[rbnyc]

35. LOL

:hi:

I was once on a commuter train sitting with some ladies who started telling their wedding mishap stories. One told the story of how she hadn't broken in her shoes and her feet hurt and ruined her wedding. Another told a story of how she cut her finger and had to get married wearing a big bandage and that ruined all the pictures. Funny, I'm actually just remembering, it was my 5th anniversary that day. I listened to all the stories, noting that the ladies really found little humor in these anecdotes and genuinely considered their weddings to have been ruined by these circumstances.

I couldn't help but interject. I said, "Excuse me, today is my anniversary and I think it's really funny that you're talking about this. May I tell you about my wedding?"

I think my story really had an impact on them. I told it in great detail, actually.

I haven't thought about that in a while.

[MrsBrady]

39. wow --

I usually don't cry reading posts......
glad you are well

[BlueIris]

45. Awwwww.

Good to know that making a custom dress was...in some ways not worth it. Also that the perfect wedding dress doesn't mean a perfect wedding.

[rbnyc]

47. :)

:loveya:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

32. Don't get the super hot under skirt they sell you for $80 on top of the dress...

It is hot as hell and not necessary. When my friend married my brother in law, I had to help her strip in the back corner of the venue. LOL

[La Lioness Priyanka]

34. if i were western, i would not pick white. you can never wear the dress again

and it seems silly and wasteful

[mentalsolstice]

36. Do not take your mom.

I wanted something simple, however, she and the sales lady insisted on something Cinderella-like. Fortunately, it wasn't expensive (I paid for it, I shared expenses for the wedding). The other thing is the veil. I got married in 1996, so elaborate veils were still in. Fortunately, I passed on that, so I don't cringe at the photo head-shots we have.

You also need to coordinate with the groom's clothing and make sure you're on the same page.

Best advice I can give for a wedding, having attended one a few months ago...do not fall prey to the photographer. Two hours into the reception, and most friends had a 100+ drive, the couple wasn't at the reception because they were still posing for pictures. When we left, they were posing with those huge old-fashioned swirled lollipops propped up in front of their faces, still in the church. When we got married, it was 1/2 hour for traditional family/wedding party pics. I wanted it to be more about the reception, and the family and friends that were there.

[davsand]

37. If you insist on a strapless make SURE it fits correctly.

When my nephew got married, his bride chose a strapless gown. She is a fairly, um...buxom...young lady and apparently her seamstress had some issues getting the dress to fit correctly. Everyone watched in rapt attention while they took the vows and she simultaneously hiked that dress up every few seconds.

I don't even want to get started on the reception, except my husband referred to it as a "post-nuclear" event--he was waiting for the fallout.


:banghead:



Laura

[MrsBrady]

38. i DIDN'T buy a wedding dress, exactly...

I bought a mother of the bride or bridal party dress that was very pretty in a cream/ivory color.
very basic. but simple and pretty. satin. floor length, sleeveless, v neck with a same color gauze or thin cloth see-through shawl wrap.
I had it fitted to me, hour glass shape, because I wanted it to look extra good.
the 14 was way too small and 16 too big. David's Bridal. spent about 325 when all said and done. I paid a little extra for a quick alteration, as we (mostly) eloped.
and spent only a week planning it all.

60 dollar ivory/cream shoes from DSW shoe warehouse. Some regular pantyhose.

Had my hair done. Got a pedicure. Regular make up. Wore a pair of ear rings my aunt had given me that were blue. Girl friend loaned me her grandmother's pearls.
Even though it was a hot January Texas day, (I think it was close to 80) I still wore the coat my Grandmother gave to me. Grey with a mink collar (hand made from the 1960's and totally cool)
I looked great. HOT, my husband said :)

Hubby wore a 400 leather jacket I bought him. He didn't want to wear a suit. And he still looks smoking hot :hippie: :fistbump: in that jacket I bought him. Macy's
Some 40 dollar black pants, and nice grey button down collared shirt with black pin stripes, sort of. Macy's
20 black shoes. Walmart.

I had 2 girlfriends, and singer-songwriter buddy of mine...one of the girls brought her husband. two of his guy friends. and a spiritual friend of mine married us on his lunch break (we got married at noon on a Friday) at a local non-denominational church where I know people. got the space for free. beautiful lighted stained glass around the small chapel too.
I'm a Christian Scientist and he's an athiest, so I had no minister to do the service and he needed someone who would not be "too churchey". So I told my friend to just use the word Love for God. No problem. :)
I only had a bouquet of white and red roses my girl friend bought.
My other girlfriend took pictures, and she had baked an italian wedding cake (it was sooooooo good) which we took down the street to the mexican restaurant dive for lunch where we had our first dinner date. Best food in town, though.
It was fun crashing the place at the lunch rush with the a small wedding party. We shared some of the cake with people around us. We ate the cake after lunch.
Bought everybody lunch, tipped well.
Spent the night in a 5 star hotel with a 5 star dinner. In the morning on Saturday we had breakfast in my old neighborhood in the local cafe were I knew everyone.
And then we moved me on Sunday.

2k for just about everyting - probably another 2k if you include my move, etc... but the actual wedding cost were about 2k.

I could probably wear the dress again if I have a formal event where a cream colored dress would be acceptable. I'll need to have it altered again as I've lost some weight.

Do it your way!
We are so glad we did what we wanted. I thought at the time I would regret not doing the "real thing" but I don't.

My grandmother couldn't travel (she's since past) and I just didn't want to have it without her.

oh...for honeymoon we went to Colorado for 4 days on our 1st Anniversary. AWESOME Snowmobiling in January! Great Fun!

[REP]

41. Order the dress first - the take for freaking ever to arrive

[mcctatas]

43. That comfort is everything

my first wedding dress weighed a brazillion pounds, had a 5 foot train that had to be bustled several times and basically made me feel like a cake topper. Luckily, I get a do-over, my dress this time around is knee length, made of chiffon so it weighs next to nothing and makes me feel comfortable and most of all pretty :)

[BlueIris]

49. Kick. nt

[Old Troop]

50. I wish that I had known that my wife was choosing the same one as me!

:rofl:

[LibertyLover]

51. I had 2 ceremonies - the legal one at the court house

and the religious one in my high priestess' back yard. The dress I wore for the legal ceremony was a very nice off-white cotton dress that came to my mid calf. It had a jacket with some very nice soutouche detail in a flat off-white braid. I ordered it from a catalog and it was on sale for $89. For the religious ceremony I wore a red velveteen 16th C. Spanish style dress with a white cotton chemise under it. I bought it at Pennsic that summer and paid $150 for the dress and $65 for the chemise. Bargains when I see what my step daughter paid last year for a dress that she wore once.