Time for 6 Questions for the DU Lounge: Plan your funeral edition

[LynneSin]

Imagine you could plan your funeral anyway you want - post your answers here to these questions

1. Casket or Cremation
   
2. What quote or scripture would you like read at your funeral
   
3. What guest celebrity would you like to speak a eulogy at your funeral
   
4. In lieu of flowers, what charity would you like people to make a donation in your honor
   
5. What song would you want to be played at your funeral?
   
6. What epitaph should be written on your tombstone?
   

[REP]

1. Something tasteful from Hefty's "Gripper" series

Cremation, no funeral, no magic words read, yes to flowers though, no marker but my epitaph would probably be "Her Rings Were Always Clean."

[NightWatcher]

2. #5 Black Muddy River from the Grateful Dead's last show at Soldier Field

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFCynPOMetY
it's a shitty recording but an eloquently sad version of the song, plus it was a few days before Jerry died.

Oh, and for the other ones:

1. Cremation or donated to the Body Farm in Knoxville http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_farm

2. from Edward Abbey "May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and castles and poets towers into a dark primeval forest where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through miasmal and mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches, where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the high crags, where something strange and more beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams waits for you --- beyond that next turning of the canyon walls. "

3.

4.

5. see above


I'll have to work on the rest of those
6.

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. Well, having planned both my parents' funerals has actually had me thinking this over. I ought to

write it out for my family.

1. Cremation, but buried in the family plot with my late kitties.
2. Haven't picked one yet.
3. Patrick Stewart
4. Something having to do with children.
5. Would like the bagpiper to play at the interment a medley of "Paddy's Green Shamrock Shore" and "She moved through the Fair" (same as we did for dad.)
6. "Beloved wife and mother" would suffice, unless I think of something cooler.

[LynneSin]

4. how about...

Beloved wife and mother and kick-ass member of DU

:D

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. And I'll have my kids put a DU sticker on the tombstone! LOL *hugs*

[ohiosmith]

6. Cremated. No funeral. No scripture. No eulogy. No flowers. No song. No tombstone. No epitaph.

[NMDemDist2]

10. +1 n/t

[LynneSin]

16. So we'll just toss your remains in a ditch somewhere and throw dog poo on it

:cry:

[ohiosmith]

19. Sure, with a little sign that says "KISS MY ASH"

:hi:

[Broken_Hero]

7. Okay....

# Casket or Cremation-cremation, my ashes spread out on the beach at Swan Lake...

# What quote or scripture would you like read at your funeral-none really, I'd want Fade to Black to be played though...

# What guest celebrity would you like to speak a eulogy at your funeral-none

# In lieu of flowers, what charity would you like people to make a donation in your honor-Native American College Fund

# What song would you want to be played at your funeral?-Fade to Black, some Five Finger Death Punch :)

# What epitaph should be written on your tombstone?-Here lies Broken_Hero the last son of Krypton

[trof]

8. 1. Cremation

2. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
3. Too late for Paul Newman. Robert Redford. If he's still around.
Two men I really respect.
4. Wolf Bay Watershed Watch
5. Stars Fell On Alabama
6. No stone (See 1. above)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. ok

Casket or Cremation neither

What quote or scripture would you like read at your funeral nothing

What guest celebrity would you like to speak a eulogy at your funeral no one

In lieu of flowers, what charity would you like people to make a donation in your honor theirfavorite

What song would you want to be played at your funeral? into the mystic and you're the one I love

What epitaph should be written on your tombstone? no tombstone

[rbnyc]

11. Cool.

Cremation

Have a pajama party where you play all my old songs

Walaca Shawn

Knox College

All my old songs

No tombstone

[Kali]

12. OK

1) I would prefer neither - I would prefer to be left under a mesquite tree to "recycle" but since that isn't really allowed and I doubt if anybody in the family is into "natural" death and burial (like home birth, but at the end) I guess cremation is the closest I'm going to get.

2) meh if people want to do stuff like that they can decide what they want to say

3) hahahhahahaha I'd rather see somebody like that when I'm alive and who?

4) actually of the traditional funeral crap, flowers are the main thing I do like

5) mostly same answer as 2, maybe some guitar

6) don't really want a stone, name and dates being recorded is OK I guess

[Curmudgeoness]

15. You may not be able to be left for the vultures, but

natural burials are legal and gaining acceptance. I used to say that if I knew I was dying, I was going to head to sub-Saharan Africa or some such improverished area where they would have no problem with throwing me in a hole.

[Kali]

22. oh I know, but I just don't think the rest of the gang would be comfortable with it.

wimps. }(

[Curmudgeoness]

23. I guess it really is about the ones left behind, isn't it?

If they are comfortable about what is done, that is all that really matters. Ain't gonna matter to us when it is our funeral.

[lukasahero]

13. You got me with the charity question

1) Cremation
2) This goes hand-in-hand with my tombstone quote:

"One always dies too soon - or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are - your life, and nothing else." -- Jean-Paul Sartre

3) No one

4) Best Friends Animal Society

5) Oddly: Father to Son by Phil Collins (It seems like something I'd like to say to my nephews...) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDX41GcA1PA

6) "Don't panic." -- Douglas Adams

[Curmudgeoness]

14. Natural burial. Pine box casket,

no funeral, since that means you have to have chemicals used on the body. Please please please, no scripture. No celebrity. Donations to Salvation Army, animal rescue, or the public library (I would love to have a lot of books in my memory). No songs since there is no funeral. No tombstone at the cemetery, just flowers and trees.

Back to the earth. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout.....

[struggle4progress]

17. I was thinking I could be lacquered and put in a lawn chair as a kind of garden gnome

I haven't decided about readings at my funeral: ask me when the time comes

[bookworm65t]

18. Donation of body to local medical school

that would be first, as long as there was no autopsy first.

Then cremation and placement at the grounds of the medical school. If not, then wherever my family wants to put me.
I don't know about the celebrity, but I would prefer someone bipolar like myself.

Charity: any that promotes literacy. I would recommend using it to buy workbooks and materials for students, not contributing to someone's salaries. (In most of these organizations, the tutors are volunteers, not staff of the charity)
Also Make A Wish Foundation. Too bad my niece was not able to use this before she died . (she was 17)

Song: don't know

Epitaph: Stopped drinking the Kool-Aid at age 15.

[Auggie]

20. Okay...

Casket or Cremation: Surprise me

What quote or scripture would you like read at your funeral: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is a war room!"

What guest celebrity would you like to speak a eulogy at your funeral: John Landis. I want him to read the entire script from Animal House.

In lieu of flowers, what charity would you like people to make a donation in your honor: My bar tab at the Gold Spike

What song would you want to be played at your funeral: "Let's Have Another Cup of Coffee, Let's Have Another Piece of Pie."

What epitaph should be written on your tombstone: "Helvetica Sucks"... in Helvetica.

[madinmaryland]

21. Here we go...

1. Cremation
2. n/a (no funeral)
3. n/a
4. n/a
5. n/a
6. no epitaph, but there might be an epithet!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

24. Well, let's see...

1. Casket or Cremation? -- Neither: Stuffed and mounted.

2. What quote or scripture would you like read at your funeral? -- Something obscure, from the Popul Vuh or the Bhagavad Gita or the Tibetan Book of the Dead that would make people wonder WTF I'd chosen it for.

3. What guest celebrity would you like to speak a eulogy at your funeral? -- Definitely not Charlie Sheen. Maybe Queen Latifah?

4. In lieu of flowers, what charity would you like people to make a donation in your honor? -- The ACLU or an animal shelter.

5. What song would you want to be played at your funeral? -- "The Prayer of St. Gregory" by Alan Hovhaness, but only if played by professional musicians. What I'd really like is King's College Choir doing the entire Bach B Minor Mass, but that seems a bit excessive.

6. What epitaph should be written on your tombstone? -- "This Is A Huge Improvement Over Hanging Out With Republicans"

[Aristus]

25. Mine:

1. Casket or Cremation: I prefer cremation, but my wife opposes the idea. She wants to have a gravesite to visit.

2. What quote or scripture would you like read at your funeral: The 23rd Psalm, and Robert Louis Stevenson's poem, Requiem.

3. What guest celebrity would you like to speak a eulogy at your funeral: Martin Sheen, with text prepared by Aaron Sorkin.

4. In lieu of flowers, what charity would you like people to make a donation in your honor?: The Southern Poverty Law Center.

5. What song would you want to be played at your funeral?: Leonard Cohen's song, Hallelujah, twice. The Jeff Buckley version during the viewing, and Chris Botti's jazz trumpet version at the close.

6. What epitaph should be written on your tombstone?: "Good Night. I'll See You In The Morning."

[JTG of the PRB]

26. Hmm... I have a few ideas...

1. Cremation
2. The speech Kirk gives at Spock's funeral at the end of Star Trek II - "Of all the souls I've encountered, his was the most... Human."
3. Who else? William Shatner himself.
4. I can't think of one in particular, but it would be a good one.
5. "Amazing Grace" as played on a single bagpipe - again, like Spock's funeral.
6. I would probably have to commission the greatest poet of that era to write it. I don't know what it would it would be, but it would be pretty amazing I'm sure.

[sakabatou]

27. Here's mine.

1. Casket
2. "No matter what you believe, this only life you have. Make the most of it."
3. Leonard Nimoy
4. Something in autistic research
5. "Mad World"
6. "Loving husband and father, who dreamed of a world better then we have now."

[hayu_lol]

29. Looks as if many of us are on the same track...

1. Immediate cremation
2. No funeral/3. No Eulogy
4. No flowers/donations
5. Son is a symphony conductor, perhaps someday he can select to perform the Mozart Requiem and spare a thought to what all we shared during life.
6. No Epitaph, no marker, no trace since ashes to be scattered.

Best part is that I get to miss all of it.

[dimbear]

32. Cremated with nothing on the side, please. But if the green burial thing

gets organized up here, that's the way to go. Give yourself back to nature immediately.

BTW, that means they throw you in a hole pretty much the way you came into the world and pat down the dirt. No casket, no nothing, sometimes a body bag.

I came to this planet intending no harm, and want to go away the same way.

[TorchTheWitch]

28. I would just like to be roasted over a low flame and

served with a dry white wine.

[hobbit709]

30. Mine

1. Cremation
2. Roger Zelazny's classic the Agnostic's Prayer
"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen."
3. Whoever wants to step up and say anything
4. NORML
5. Peter Tosh-Legalize It http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABc8ciT5QLs
6. No tombstone, I've made arrangements to have my ashes scattered over a marijuana field.

[curiousabout...]

31. I haven't thought it all out but....

1. Cremation
2. “Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”
3. Morgan Freeman
4. SPCA
5. Bodies by Drowning Pool
6. I won't have a tombstone...if I did...in tiny print would say: get off you're standing on me.

[LynneSin]

36. Shouldn't Morgan Freeman be narrating all of our lives

and welcome to DU :hi:

[Lasher]

33. Epitaph: I told you I was sick.

I have expressed this wish for years now. Mrs. Lasher will not agree.

[HopeHoops]

34. 1) bong; 2) War & Peace; 3) Tommy Chong; 4) Food bank; 5) FREEBIRD!; 6) "Oops."

[wysimdnwyg]

35. Hmm, interesting topic

1. Cremation (after having donated my body to science)
2. Never thought about this one... guess I will now
3. Sam Elliot (coolest dude on the planet and what a voice) or Tom Morello
4. NRDC
5. Amazing Grace on bagpipes
6. No tombstone - see 1.

[LynneSin]

37. My answers

1. I still don't know which I prefer because cremation makes sense but I still want my body somewhere - just incase we get a chance to rise up again for a part of the zombie invasion. I have a space saved already where my father is buried.

2. I would like Psalm's 46 read at my funeral. It was read at my dad's funeral so I'd like the same thing: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+46&version=NIV

3. I'd like Morgan Freeman to read the Psalms just because he's got such a great fricking voice.

4. Please donate your money to the American Cancer Society. I've lost alot of family to cancer and I wouldn't be shocked if that's how I go too.

5. Please have Robert Plant sing "Ramble On" at my funeral.

6. It was fun while it lasted but I'll be back

[Deep13]

38. okay

1. Casket or Cremation

Mummified and placed next to Stalin. Barring that, burnt and interred in a cemetery where I can have a big, scary headstone.

2. What quote or scripture would you like read at your funeral

Bleck! None. I've yet to hear a reading that did not sound contrived.

3. What guest celebrity would you like to speak a eulogy at your funeral

None. Any such person would detract from the occasion.

4. In lieu of flowers, what charity would you like people to make a donation in your honor

Planned Parenthood

5. What song would you want to be played at your funeral?

Pinball Wizard.

6. What epitaph should be written on your tombstone?

What are YOU looking at?! You're next!

[BillStein]

39. Actually, I already planned and paid for my funeral,

...so my family and Rich won't have to. That said:

1. Cremated. Actually, I always wanted to be composted and used to grow some pretty flowers, but apparently that's not legal here.

2. None. See #3

3. I don't want any celebrity, and certainly no clergy. No planned statements. I want the floor opened up to comments/remembrances. And I want honesty- I'm no saint, and don't expect to be canonized- let me be remembered as I was, warts and all.

4. I want it both ways? I want people to contribute to the local arboretum, so they can grow more of the flowers I enjoy all spring and summer.

5. "I Wish You Love"

6. "He was a pain in the ass, but we loved him"

edited for clarity

[Arkansas Granny]

40. Cremation (the kids have already decided where to fling my ashes).

No scripture.
No eulogy (unless it's spontaneous by friends or family).
No flowers, donations to Doctors Without Borders.
No special song.
No epitaph.

If there is any kind of ceremony that would make the family feel better, they are welcome to have it, by all means. At that point, it's for them and not for me. I won't be there so I won't care.