|
I mean, pressure-cooked pot-roast -- nothing could be easier
Where's that quarter jug of red wine that soured that I was too fuggin lazy to toss? Here it is: wrench off the top and dump it in the pressure cooker. Add the piece of meat, frozen rock hard or not. Carrots and taters: too fuggin lazy to scrape em, just scrub em with nylon wool under running water, chuck taters in whole, snap carrots in half. Open a can crushed tomatos. Dump. Rinse can with water and dump rinse water in. Add some herbs -- which and how much? who cares? what's easiest to reach? it'll be fine, put some in. Put on the lid, turn on the heat just high enough so it comes up to pressure. Am I gonna time it? What, are you joking? I'd have to find my kitchen timer, and it's probably in a stack of laundry in the basement or maybe it's with all the beer cans under the living room sofa. I'm not gonna clean the fuggin basement or living room just to find my kitchen timer. So when the pressure cooker comes up to pressure and starts rattling I just turn it off and leave it alone. Next morning, I turn it on again until it rattles, then turn it off again and leave it alone. By evening, I guess I can finally face the weary fuggin task of opening the pack of shrooms. Where the hell is it? Oh, here it is in the freezer, for some reason. Rip open the pack, rinse the shrooms, open the pressure cooker, dump in the shrooms, close the pressure cooker, turn on the heat until until it rattles, then turn it off again. Yeah, it took 24 hours in all, but only about 15 minutes of my actual time and attention. OK, later, I've finally eaten a bunch of the pot-roast and given some away: I don't know what I was thinking, cuz it came out great. Now it's time to figure out what to do with the left-overs. No fuggin way am I gonna open the refrigerator door and try to find space: it's like Fibber McGee's hall closet in there. Just dump all the juice and meat scraps into the pot of chicken soup on the stove. I guess it's not chicken soup any more; I dunno what to call it; it'll be fine
|