A man killed himself in the parking lot of the store I work at today...

[ScreamingMeemie]

...and it brought back a billion memories.

We are a small, neighborhood store and the police cars brought in a bunch of "new" customers (who hadn't come to buy anything)with a bunch of stupid comments. And I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe while they called him a coward, and laughed and wondered and tried to get closer. The policemen hadn't done a very good job of closing off the scene and they could see, and it was like staring that day in the face again. I thought of his mother/son/friend/family and compared it with the gawking and laughter.

"This doesn't happen here" was said time and time again. "This does and will continue to happen here" is what I replied time and time again.

Because suicide is real. And it's never funny.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. How dreadful for you...

Having to relive all that.

I am so very sorry, Mrs. G. Please be good to yourself...

My condolences to you, and to everyone who loved the man who killed himself today.

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Thanks, I appreciate it.

[Bunny]

2. Jeez I'm sorry you had to go through that.

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. Thanks Bunny.

I'm trying to shake the memory.

[Kali]

3. oh god

how horrible

I'm so sorry for you and all his friends and relatives. I'm so sorry.

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. Thanks Kali.

I cannot get his people out of my head.

[Bertha Venation]

4. Jesus christ, I am so, so sorry.

Hugs are inadequate. I am so sorry.

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. Thanks Bertha

I really appreciate it.

[Orrex]

5. I am fortunate never to have been driven to serious thoughts of committing suicide. However...

Even way back in high school, when they repeatedly invoked the mantra that suicide "is a permanent solution to a temporary problem," I remember thinking, yeah, but what if it's a permanent problem.

Regrettably, some people will always laugh in these situations. Sometimes it's because they're heartless assholes and sometimes it's because they don't have a better coping mechanism. And sometimes suicide is the a cowardly act, but not every time. Hell, not even most times.


Sad story. I wonder what had gone wrong in his life that left this as the only option that he could see.

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. You never know.

We never knew. My husband used to say the "is a permanent solution..." thing to the children all the time. And then what happened, happened. A man in the store said the same thing today, and it's a nightmare phrase to me now.

[rbnyc]

6. I'm sorry.

People can really close themselves off and say horrible things in the face of real tragedy.

You, on the other hand, a real, feeling, thoughtful and beautiful human being.

I'm sorry you've had so much pain in your life.

Whenever people talk about suicide, I always think of 2 people in my life who took their own lives, my boyfriend in college and my wonderful Aunt Judy. And I always think the same thing. I wish they had just given themselves time to see that things don't stay the same. It sometimes feels like you are trapped forever in an impossible situation, but it is not the nature of things to remain. Amazing transformations do happen over time.

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. For the past three years it has been about saving my children

from this (very sick, very sad) legacy. On days like today I feel helpless.

[Ptah]

7. .

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. .

Thanks Ptah

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. Oh, God! *hugs* How utterly awful!

[ScreamingMeemie]

21. Thanks GPV.

[Richardo]

9. Jesus

I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. I keep telling myself it will be okay to go back to work tomorrow.

I really love this job (it's low stress and in my own neighborhood-I can walk) and I'm stealing myself for it tomorrow.

[merh]

10. I'm so sorry you had to be there today when this happened.

I'm sorry

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. Thanks merh.

I appreciate it.

[Skittles]

11. fucking idiots who claim suicide is due to cowardice

I don't know whether to be completely disgusted by them or envious of their complete unawareness of the devastation of depression

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. I just kept repeating how hopeless and lost this man must have been

and asking them to think of his family. A few had common sense, but not enough.

[Skittles]

27. my dad shot himself in the head, lived for six days

I would have kicked bystander ass

[Moondog]

37. My God,

that must have been horrible for you and for your family.

[raccoon]

29. +1000. nt

[SOteric]

12. Oh Sweetie.

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

25. Thanks SO

I needed that. It was just a horrible day.

[Crabby Appleton]

13. So sorry

:hug: :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. Thanks Crabby.

Very much.

[Mopar151]

28. One of these days

We're gonna get a handle on the "excess thoughtless jerk" problem. I nominate Skittles as out National Chairman, 'cuz her solution is probably the nicest thing these ninnies deserve.

As for the OP, the whole effing world owes her a :grouphug:

[raccoon]

30. I'm sorry that happened, Meemie.

:hug:

[tigereye]

31. I am sorry, Meemie

warm thoughts for you and yours, always, and for the man there and his family. :hug:

[bif]

32. Sorry to hear that. I know how you feel.

We've had three in our family. My mom, her brother and my brother about a year ago. Takes a long time to get over, that's for sure.

[LaurenG]

33. I am so very sorry...

for you, his family and all involved. :hug:

[nolabear]

34. Oh I am so sorry. People are so frightened by suicide that they will say things

to distance themselves from it, to reassure themselves that they're a different kind of person, that they would never do such a thing. The only reason that's necessary is that one who takes his or her own life isn't an alien; it's a just human being who couldn't find another way out, and we can relate more than we want to. It's a terrible tragedy, and I hope whatever it stirs back up in you finds solace.

[1gobluedem]

35. Oh, no, SM...

I'm so SO sorry you had to relive all those memories. It's not funny; it's tragic and horrible and my heart aches for you and for his family.

:hug:

[Call Me Wesley]

36. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

Good vibes!

[KamaAina]

38. Aaaauuugggghhhh!

:cry:

[Flaxbee]

39. God, I'm so sorry, Meemie...

For any number of reasons, not the least the most painful one, it must have been an awful day for you. :hug:

[easttexaslefty]

40. *** may they never have to know

the destruction that suicide leaves in its wake***