How long after dating someone does it take you to sleep with them?

[ringmastery]

[DrZhivago]

1. usually an hour or two

but, hey, that's just me

[rbnyc]

38. That's what I was going to say!

But I have always been a little slutty.

Which reminds me, I had the hottest dream last night. I dreamed about a stripper who talked about how much she loved CSPAN through her whole routine.

:evilgrin:

[TroubleMan]

2. You had me on "Hello"

I'm a guy....what do you expect?

[Qanisqineq]

3. I worry about getting their name later... if the sex was worth it

of course, now that I'm married, that is over

[DarkPhenyx]

4. With any luck?

Less than 4 hours. On average? Less than 12.

[VelmaD]

8. And we've known each other how long?

Sorry about throwing off your average. ;-)

[DarkPhenyx]

9. I make allowances for geographic complications.

The 4 hour average is for "barroom" excurtions.

Now supernova...she's killing my average. :evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

12. ah...stupid geography...

stupid big country. x(

[Doctor_J]

5. 3 mississippi

Chicks dig the Walter Matthau craggy look

[camero]

6. Depends

If there's nothing apparently wrong with her then it's the first night. (By wrong I mean no hard drugs, not full of herself, etc)

I get any bad vibes, I put it off until I know her better, which usually means never.

[supernova]

7. Whatever happended to romance?

Getting to know a person? LOL!

[DarkPhenyx]

11. Romance is a completely different subject.

Sheesh! :)

[supernova]

15. Well, that's what I want

And perhaps you're right, it is a different subject.

Perhaps I take myself too seriously.

[DarkPhenyx]

17. So...what?

I need to light a candle first? I can do that. *c*

[supernova]

23. Heh.

Yes, that's a good start... :D

[LTR]

21. I can learn a lot about a person...

...in 15 minutes.

[tigereye]

31. soemtimes it seems that only we "more mature" folks

(and I am speaking for myself and those over 30, 35, 40? etc.) still believe in romance. Cry over Casablanca. Want to hear a little poetry first. Psych. At the same time we were also screwing our brains out in the pre-Aids days, so who am I kidding?

No more dating for me... but in the past I USUALLY wanted to get to know someone first.

[camero]

42. Some of us over 35 know

that waiting can get you labeled with the "passive" moniker.

[tigereye]

47. fair point

but there must be some territory in between. I guess it is unfair to guys to have to feel like the "initiator" of said activity and also for women to feel (however wrongly) that if they are the initiators, they could be labelled as "sluts" or "too sexual"

I was always fairly upfront about wanting to be intimate with someone in my college days, it didn't really make sense to wait for the guy to initiate it if I knew that that was what I wanted to do. But at times it did feel weird. I hope that things are less complicated now than they were when I was "looking."

[camero]

49. It's unfair for women to have that label

if she's the initiator. I was on the receiving end a couple of times and that felt weird too but I think it's more cultural than anything.

I think it's more complicated now because we're still trying to find a middle ground for lack of a better term. The only thing that bothers me is if I don't want to approach the first night and then get labeled. So, the first night it is unless I have a bad feeling.

[SarahB]

10. delete

[camero]

18. Why?

It wasn't that bad.

[SarahB]

26. It pissed someone off

He thought it made him look bad. Normally, my DU posts aren't noticed and I thought it was funny, but hypersensitivity rears it's ugly damn head once again.
It's so bad that over six months ago, he signed up for DU and I welcome him with a :loveya:, he was pissed off that I acknowledged he was my spouse without permission. That's why I'm out of here ASAP. I can't take shit like this anymore. I don't deserve it.

[camero]

41. I'm sorry

It was funny and you don't deserve that. Tell him to chill.

[SarahB]

51. That doesn't work

Some people just can't give up their insecure need to control everyone around them. I'd rather be alone forever than continue dealing with this type of thing. I lost myself for a long time and I'll be damned if I let him do it again. I've been through too much.

[camero]

52. Sounds like

You've come to the same conclusion I did when my gf left me in the hospital. I realized I was miserable with her. For the same reasons. Just goes to prove that there's high maintainence people in both sexes. Which is exactly what it is. A high maintainence partner.


Nobody can stay alone forever though, we all have a longing for connection. It's natural. The key is finding someone who doesn't feel the need to pull our strings. If that makes sense.

[Bill of Rights]

13. Two weeks to a month

if it is not a bar relationship. If it is a bar relationship, less than a week.

[GOPisEvil]

14. Hell, it's been a while...I don't remember.

I've also never slept with someone on the first day I met them. :shrug:

[m-jean03]

37. A gentleman --

Good for you!:)

[Dogmudgeon]

16. Average Sexual Latency Time:

GBH: 60-120 minutes
Rohypnol: 30-75 minutes
Alcohol: 30-120 minutes depending on consumption rate
Sucrose: 30-60 minutes (at 90-120 ng/dL blood glucose)

Other persuasogenic drugs as by established pharmacokinetic assays.

--bkl

[Exultant Democracy]

20. wow, that makes a strange kind of sense

I remember one time in high school I got my friend all hopped up on pixie sticks and after bouncing off a few walls she bounced right into bed with me.

[put out]

19. Depends upon the season, the available location,

and the unexplainable "twinkle in the eye", and do you have a sleeping bag in your car.

I'd say, oh, how fast can you shuck one shoe and one leg of your pants.

Heh, coming from a middle aged suburbanite married for 17 years. I just always knew if someone was a likely partner for that sort of activity. In my foggy, very distant and ancient past.

[Skittles]

22. I always know someone for quite a while before I will date them

so I don't have the angst over when to sleep with them

[Paragon]

24. About an hour after I call the escort service

Varies by travel time. :silly:

[Kat45]

25. "Dating"? What's that?

[Elidor]

27. Depends on how loud she snores

And whether she hogs the blankie.

[GumboYaYa]

28. I consider sleeping with them part of the date.

:)

[johnnie]

29. If I dated...

I haven't dated in a while, but I've never had a one night stand. Playing the music scene for years I have had many chances, but never took advantage. And I have never slept with a woman on the first day. I would really have to like her and know her pretty well. I guess I'm old fashioned that way, but I have no child support payments, and I have never had a STD...and I'll be 40 this year. Of course I am still single...so maybe I should change my technique.
Just my own way of doing things...to each his own I guess.

[KG]

30. 'sleep with them' - is that sex? coz, i have a vague memory of sex

if i recall correctly, it was messy but felt good......

[Burma Jones]

32. Well...........

There's the whole meet for sex thing which means the date IS sleeping with someone.

I have generally known by the end of the first date whether there would EVER be any nookie, so it's either the second date or nothing.

Then there's how it worked with my wife, we met, we were friends, we went out a few times as "friends" she broke up with the guy she was living with, THEN we had sexual congress. This process took nearly a year, but it was well worth it. We've been married nine years now and have two splendid children.

[ScreamingMeemie]

33. Months. Really. It was months after I met MrG. Actually, it was more like

twenty years, because I first met him at age 12. ;)

[LynzM]

34. the minority's gonna butt in

And say at least a month after I started dating them, and that was the shortest... that may have changed had I continued to date instead of getting married, LOL

[NightTrain]

35. I usually slip her $50 and that takes care of it!

:evilgrin:

[PVnRT]

36. What does it mean to "sleep with them"?

I'm far too ugly for that.

[nini]

39. Depends on how long I've known the person before 'dating'

I'm not one to rush into that anymore.

I'm not saying I'm gonna wait forever, but I'm not gonna put out for just anyone either :-)

[tsakshaug]

40. At least a month

I like to get to know them...and get results of the HIV test first

Just an old timer i guess

[Fear]

43. depends.......

depends, but mostly a while.....why rush everything

[ewagner]

44. When single

I learned to observe the Wacko Incubation Period

What you saw at first was not always reality. Had to learn to let the true personality emerge before doing anything so emotionally sensitive.

The good news is that I only had to learn the lesson once!

[AngryAmish]

45. One should not date anyone who you are not sleeping with

[Nikia]

46. Should or did?

I admit it. I slept with my husband right away. I don't recommend that. It worked out alright. It might not have though. In the early part of the relationship, things seemed too serious too quickly for me. I think if we hadn't slept together right away, things might have been a bit slower and comfortable.
On the otherhand, I had a boyfriend the previous year who I slept with after a month. The previous week, he had made the first move with what could be called foreplay. Anyway, we didn't really talk about sex or anything. When it did happen, he, a virgin, regretted it. He thought that I was a whore for rushing him. He still hates me. Obviously, when dating someone like him, you should wait longer.
If you want to only have sex with someone special. I recommend that you date for a while until you know that you have something special and the other person feels the same way. Otherwise, you will either get hurt or feel like you suddenly got married (figuratively) before you knew the person.

[Bucky]

48. The begging usually starts immediately, but isn't a great ice breaker

Since I rarely get a second date, I find it useful to start whining and pleading for sex alost immediately after the salads arrive. A couple of my therapists have suggested there may be a chicken-and-egg question there about why I'm not getting second dates, but life is too short to waste on self awareness. Anyway, if I wait until the entree, my date might figure out the "dutch treat" thing and get really huffy.

[Undemcided]

50. Used to be as soon as I could

Now as I get older I find there are a lot more variables in the equation of happiness.

[JCMach1]

53. A couple of times the sex came before the dating

:)

[sleipnir]

54. I'm a big fan of the third date as the "sex date"

As sterotypical as the old standard is, I'm down with it! If by the third date there's no sex, I usually gauge the situation and possibly move on from there. Oddly, the "third date" thing seems to work well, as good measure of the relationship. Also, I'm talking about honest "dates", not just going out with friends. By the 3 date, there's usually enough modern social pressure that it happens anyway.