Funniest line in a movie.

[Bertha Venation]

Mine:

"You slut."

Bill Murray to Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie."

Yours? Give context if you like.

PS Even if you think everyone should know the movie, please humor us and give the title. Give the actor(s) too; it's fun. :)

[bif]

1. "I envy us."

Previous line is: "You know, a lot of people envy us." Everyone knows the movie.

[trof]

42. Everyone? Except me.

???

[riderinthestorm]

76. Me too. nt

[MrScorpio]

2. "This Could Very Well Be The Stupidest Person On The Face Of The Earth"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqUZ04UWRk4
Ruthless People

[Rambis]

3. Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos

[Initech]

88. MARK IT ZERO!!!!!

:rofl:

[hobbit709]

4. "It's not my goddamn planet. Understand monkey boy?"

[gratuitous]

19. From the same movie

"Lithium is no longer available on credit."

[Richardo]

5. Also Bill Murray from Tootsie: "Mom?"

To me this was even funnier than "you slut."

[Bertha Venation]

7. LOL

:thumbsup:

[Beaverhausen]

32. "That's one nutty hospital"

[Richardo]

6. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room!"

Dr Strangelove.

[Demoiselle]

8. "Serpentine! Serpentine!"

Alan Arkin reminding himself of Peter Falk's survival advice in The Inlaws,while they are running in zigzag patterns to dodge enemy bullets on the airport tarmac. (Yeah, I know Michael Douglas did a remake. Can't imagine why...the first Inlaws was perfect.)

Then, of course, there's Celeste Holmes' line in All About Eve..."Eve Harrington would ask Abbott to give her Costello!"

But you're right, "You slut!" tops them all.

[Richardo]

12. "There are flames on my car." "What?"

"THERE ARE FLAMES ON MY CAR!!"


Kudos for the In-Laws reference. One of the funniest movies of all time. :thumbsup:

[hamsterjill]

24. Serpentine!!!

I can remember the "serpentine" line from sitting in the movie theater seeing the The Inlaws. I remember laughing to the point that it became embarrassing!!! (Yes, that makes me pretty darn old, doesn't it?!)

Loved it!

[Biker13]

46. Best. Movie. Ever!

Thank you!

Biker's Old Lady

[Demoiselle]

50. You're welcome. I'm grinning just sitting here remembering it...

[riderinthestorm]

75. In Laws, one of the best ever! nt

[Laura PourMeADrink]

99. OMG...remember dying from laughing at that Serpentine bit...thanks ! nt

[sakabatou]

9. "Your schwartz is as big as mine!"

[pokerfan]

51. They've gone to plaid!

[fizzgig]

93. we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed

[MiddleFingerMom]

10. "Nobody's perfect."

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Joe E. Brown... the last words spoken at the very end of "Some Like It Hot".
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[lunatica]

11. "I saw it in the winda and I just couldn't resist it"

[dixiegrrrrl]

14. YES!!!

tho not a movie.

and of course another great tv reference:
'what...... does..... a.... yellow..... light..... mean?"

[MissMillie]

78. May be the single funniest line on TV

but it wasn't a movie.

(a sad technicality)

[AmandaRuth]

13. "I'll have what she's having"

Estelle Reiner

Harry/Sally

always gets me. :)

[Richardo]

15. "Was One a good year?"

Zero Mostel as Pseudolus - inquiring about the vintage of a bottle of wine - in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

[chollybocker]

54. Nice pick.

And nice pic. :)

[dixiegrrrrl]

16. Damn near any line in Raising Arizona.

[cemaphonic]

80. and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.

You ate what?
We ate sand.
You ate SAND?
That's right.

and of course:
I don't know - they were jammies! They had Yodas 'n' shit on 'em!

[Pryderi]

17. "those aren't pillows"

[pokerfan]

39. He says we're going the wrong way...

Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?

[krispos42]

68. "You're going the wrong way!"

[pokerfan]

71. I love Steve Martin's slow realization

that they're on the wrong side of the freeway. His excuse is that he's just woken up. John Candy's excuse is that his character's an idiot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEZv0FUPtcc

[Laura PourMeADrink]

98. Yes. Yes. Yes ! Funniest bit ever ! nt

[nolabear]

18. "You take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban."

[Richardo]

20. !!

:thumbsup:

[Pryderi]

21. "No, but we're willing to learn"

[pokerfan]

37. Don't order the Schnitzel, they're using Schnauzer!

[NightWatcher]

22. say goodbye to your two best friends, and I'm not talking about the guys in the Winnebago

or any other Mel Brooks line/movie

[geardaddy]

23. This one always gets me.

"Where is pancakes house?"

[Bertha Venation]

25. Did you see that guy in one of the Superbowl commercials?

A Budweiser commercial... he sang "Tiny Dancer." Great commercial.

[pokerfan]

41. Well, he's never done this before. He said I can knock a hundred dollars off of that Truecoat!

[geardaddy]

47. lol

:thumbsup:

[Bucky]

26. "No. Walk *this* way"

2nd place: "Why sank you, doctor!"

[chollybocker]

55. Producers, Young Frankenstein?

[Stuart G]

64. I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here

[Paper Roses]

27. "What's a yute"? from 'My Cousin Vinnie'. Hilarious!

[lunatica]

30. The two yutes

LOL

[pokerfan]

35. Also from Vinny

Vinny: All right, this is 50 feet, that's half the distance. How many fingers am I holding up?
Judge: Let the record show that the counselor is holding up 2 fingers.
Vinny: Hey, your honor please, huh?
Judge: Oh, sorry.
Vinny: Now. Mrs. Riley, and only Mrs. Riley, how many fingers am I holding up now?

[pacalo]

81. +1!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

96. My Cousin Vinny "Ya, like You blend..""

[sarge43]

28. Mine

Stewardess, I can speak jive. Airplane!

Stand by for justice. American Graffiti

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Animal House

When he (The Jesus) moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast. The Big Lebowski (Not so much the line, but the companying scene.)

He's sooo romantic. Annie after Crash calls the umpire a name we can't say on the radio. Bull Durham

Kill anyone today, Curly? No, but the day's not over. City Slickers

There's no butter in hell. Cold Comfort Farm

Ducts! Why is it always ducts? Galaxy Quest

Well, what family doesn't have its ups and downs. The Lion in Winter

Your life is going down the toilet. Moonstruck

So is this, ma'am, but every so often I have to run a little water through it (sound of zipper). My Favorite Year

No thanks man. I don't want you fucking up my life, too. Office Space

For starters.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

52. Great list!

:fistbump:

[sarge43]

60. Why thank you, sir

Some more from my DVD collection

Bernice left her cake out in the rain. Priscilla: Queen of the Desert

You somna bitch! Better hurry it up. I'm in dutch with the wife. Raising Arizona

I'm a shimmering star in the cinematic fur-ma-mint. Singing in the Rain

I could sue you for calling me that, Polly. A shyster is a disreputable lawyer. I'm a QUACK! S.O.B.

Look how she moves! It's like Jell-O on springs. Some Like It Hot

KHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!! Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan

Finally, any line from Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein

[BlueIris]

29. "A real man would not shoplift the pootie from a single mother."

Jerry Maguire.

[Auggie]

31. Ruthless People

Sam Spade answers the phone...

"Hello? Debbie? Yeah, Debbie's here, who's this? Well, Ralph, uh, Debbie can't talk right now, my dick's in her mouth. How about if I have her call you back later when I'm done?"

(laughs)

"I love wrong numbers."

[krispos42]

69. !

:spray:

[pokerfan]

33. I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

(Robert DeNiro in Meet the Parents)

[blue neen]

34. "You sleazy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters!"

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

[KamaAina]

36. "Could I have ten thousand marbles, please?"

Not so much the line itself as the aftermath. :rofl:

[pokerfan]

38. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps.

[underpants]

49. Stephen Furst VCU grad

GO RAMS!!!

[KamaAina]

63. Yeah! National runners-up!

No shame in losing to the Huskies in the final. :-)

[hifiguy]

117. And the look of utter glee on Flounder's face

when he speaks the line.... :rofl:

[surrealAmerican]

40. "Sure, I sold 'em the code and two pair of plans."

It's from the trial scene in Duck Soup.

[av8rdave]

43. A couple of them

I could make a unicorn out of that. (Reno 911: Miami)

Whenever Mrs. Kissel breaks wind, we beat the dog. (10)

[Brigid]

44. "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

Dean Wormer in "Animal House," of course. I swear I ought to have this put on a T-shirt and wear it to work.

[Bossy Monkey]

45. Anything Lloyd Bridges gives up in "Airplane!" n/t

[Blue-Jay]

106. "And Leon's getting larger!"

[charlie and algernon]

48. "Ray, if someone asks if you're a god, you say 'YES!'"

Ernie Hudson as Winston Zedmore in Ghostbusters.

[riderinthestorm]

74. Same movie, "Okay so my girlfriends a dog"

Bill Murray to his pals

[ChoralScholar]

53. "I'm going to bang your friends. Consider them all banged."

Baby Mama

[siligut]

95. Loved that movie! Great line too. nt

[YankeyMCC]

56. What did you expect?

"Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.

[sarge43]

58. Is there an unfunny line in Blazing Saddles? n/t

[Frank Cannon]

57. "You're gonna need a bigger boat."

Roy Scheider in Jaws, of course.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

59. "Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?"

[Iggo]

83. 'Can't swim? Hell. The fall'll probably kill ya!'

[TheManInTheMac]

61. "Charmed, I'm sure;

ordinarily, one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature." --Hobson, Arthur.

[DiverDave]

62. "Message for you sir"

Holy Grail.

"Sleep well, and dream of large woman" Princess Bride

"Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a
killer!" Holy Grail ( lots in that movie.)

DANA
flops on bed, writhing up and down
Do you want this body?

PETER
Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked, huh

Ghostbusters.

[Taverner]

65. "Are you mods or rockers?"

"I'm neither...I'm a mocker..."

[ornotna]

66. Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that.

Vinny to Tyrone in "Snatch".

[undeterred]

67. Sounds pretty half baked to me. Oh no sir, its completely baked.

From The Graduate.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

70. My Favorite Year

Bill Macy: He's plastered!

Peter O'Toole: So are some of the finest erections in Europe.

[pokerfan]

72. Damn you! I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!

[sarge43]

73. CA .roow. CA! n/t

[MissMillie]

79. love that movie (n/t)

.

[MissMillie]

77. "Mamma, give me all your..... internal organs...." Steel Magnolias

Actually, the whole movie is fully of funny lines, but that's my favorite.

[Iggo]

84. Here! Hit Weezer!

:thumbsup:

[pacalo]

82. Some of my favorites that haven't been mentioned...

From "Vacation":

Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

Last line in "Birdcage":

Gene Hackman as Senator Kevin Keeley: (in drag) Meet me in 20 minutes at the corner of El Dorado and Palm.
Keeley's Chauffeur: Lady, not for a million dollars.

From "Private Benjamin":

Judy Benjamin: I think they sent me to the wrong place.
Capt. Lewis: Uh-huh.
Judy Benjamin: See, I did join the army, but I joined a *different* army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms.

[Godhumor]

85. "Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!"

Actually, the entirety of Galaxy Quest is quotable.

[krispos42]

101. The scene in "Galaxy Quest" when they beam up the beast

The beast is attacking Tim Allen's character, so the crew tries out the "digitizer" and beams it up to the ship. Unfortunately, it materialized inside-out.

The crew is trying to conceal this fact from Tim Allen, until the inverted alien explodes in a blast of goo.

"And then it exploded." :rofl:

[Initech]

86. "He's already pulled over! He cant pull over any further!!!"

This thread needs some Super Troopers. :rofl:

[Iggo]

91. We have a winner.

:applause:

[Initech]

87. One of my favorites from the most recent Jackass movie:

Johnny Knoxville is about to be blind-sided by professional football player Jared Allen.

Cameraman: Quick review. What's your role in all of this Jared?
Jared: Murder Knoxville's face.
Cameraman: And what's your role in all of this Johnny?
Johnny Knoxville: Uh... catch the ball?

[Initech]

89. "Loud noises!!!"

"I dont know what we're yelling about!!!"

[Mad_Dem_X]

114. LOL! I just saw "Anchorman" yesterday

Funny stuff.

[Skittles]

90. from War of the Roses

(a party guest who eavesdrops on a Rose fight that involved Mr. Rose (Michael Douglas) pissing on the fish): "l don't know if we should leave, but l definitely advise skipping the fish course."

[Rambis]

92. "Come on guys it's all ball bearings now" (burns arm) I-eee

[GaYellowDawg]

94. Matthew Perry in Serving Sara: "Thanks for the prediction, NostraDumbAss"

nt

[marmar]

97. "Muthafucka? Moi?"

Eddie Murphy, when he returns to the neighborhood bar in "Trading Places"

[Laura PourMeADrink]

100. "Put the Candle Back" (Young Frankenstein) nt

[InternalDialogue]

102. "What kind of clown are you?"

"I guess I'm the cryin'-on-the-inside kinda clown."

Jason Robards and Bill Murray, Quick Change.

[MrCoffee]

112. It's bad luck just seeing a thing like that!

I love love LOVE Quick Change

[pink-o]

103. "I like to watch, Eve"

Chance the Gardner from "Being There".

Or the psychiatrist to Harold: "So you stage these little scenes for your mother's benefit?"

Harold: "I would not say...for her benefit" "Harold and Maude"

And of course the iconic, the classic: Ned Beatty "There is no America, there is only General Electric, General Motors, Standard Oil..." in the most prescient movie of the 70s, the brilliant "Network".

I have never collected videos or DVD's, but these three films I've owned on every platform and media format considered cutting edge since their release date. Best. Movies. Ever.

[panader0]

104. From "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou"

"You mean you sold your immortal soul?"
"Well, I wasn't usin' it for anything."

[InternalDialogue]

105. "We thought . . . you was . . . a toad!"

[El Supremo]

109. "Happy birthday to you"

Cat Ballou

[WinkyDink]

107. "Mother?" ~~~Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: "Ruprecht"/Steve Martin.

[Pryderi]

108. "Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old,

but also a girl."

[travelingtypist]

110. The pen is blue. The pen is blue.

The god damn pen is blue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fla9FxpZPLc&feature=related

[FloridaJudy]

111. "God damn, your drunk tests are hard!"

Steve Martin "The Man with Two Brains"

[SCantiGOP]

113. not a line

One of the times I laughed out loud at a movie was the scene in Jurassic Park when the T Rex is chasing, and gaining on, the folks in the jeep. Jeff Goldblum's character looks at the snarling beast in the side mirror, on which is printed "Objects in the mirror may be larger than they appear."

[kentauros]

115. Is this a 1977 Mercedes 450SL for *twenty-four thousand dollars*?

That's too fucking high!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=zqHZWdFVyyQ#t=72s

Used Cars

Of course, the whole scene is hilarious! :rofl:

[hifiguy]

116. "Shut your f***ing face, unclef***ker"

The first time I saw the South Park movie I was laughing so hard I thought I would have a coronary during that song.

Alternate from the same movie

"I don't think Mister Garrison said 'eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker', mmkay?"