Another tale of road rage and sweet, sweet revenge

[TXlib]

I'm driving to work, and there's a bigass SUV, an Expedition, in front of me. It is festooned with RW stickers -- "We support our president and our troops", "God Bless America", "I'm pro-life, and I vote", "Bush/Cheney '04", "Got Christ?", and a Jesus fish. It is also driving very erratically and aggressively, cutting people off with inches to spare without signalling, tailgating, not keeping a constant speed, and weaving.

At a traffic light, I got into the left lane; the SUV was in the right. I found myself next to the SUV, and looked over at the driver. She was on her cell phone, of course!

She glanced over at me, and as she did so, I gestured, pantomiming putting a phone down, and then pointing at my eyes, and pointing at the road ahead. She returned a few gestures of her own, not befitting the Jesus fish on the back of her SUV, and was apparently screaming at me, but through two rolled-up windows, I couldn't hear.

When the light turned green, she tried to run me off the road, into oncoming traffic! That's right! She veered her vehicle to the left, into mine, trying to squeeze me to the left. I gunned my engine and got ahead. She got behind me, and tailgated very close, and lay on her horn, flashing her headlights.

Too bad for her she didn't notice the cop car that had been two cars behind us. But he noticed her, and was suddenly behind her, lights flashing. Her rage at me suddenly turned to shock and fear.

She got into the right lane, preparing to pull over. As she did so, I slowed down, so she came up alongside me. As she glanced at me again, I pantomimed laughing my ass off at her.

The contorted mask of pure fury her face became was priceless, and just too funny. I now have a nice, warm tingly feeling, and I can tell the rest of the day is going to be GREAT!

[SheepyMcSheepster]

1. hehehe

that is a good story.

[GOPisEvil]

2. Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

I hope you don't get revenged though...you know how these right-wing nutcases are.

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. What a beautiful way to start the day TX. I cannot stand aggressive

drivers and love it when they get theirs...Jesus,my ass. She has those stickers for what??? :hi:

[MountainLaurel]

4. What goes around comes around

Having to deal with these morons every day on the roads of the DC Metro area, I salute you!

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. HA HA!!! That's excellent!

You made my day, that's for sure. One of those &*@*#^$ got their comeuppance! HA!! I'm glad you had the chance to rub in the laughter to really make the victory sweet.

NICE!

[ixion]

6. ROFL... great story TXLib

thanks... that made my morning. :hi:

I know just the type you're talking about. The Jesus Fish and RW bumper stickers (I don't like bumper stickers in general) -- are like badges of ignorance, worn proudly upon their trunk.

[callous taoboy]

7. Hey

fellow texan TxLib, great story! Thanks. Let me guess: Dallas?

[TXlib]

10. No, Houston.

I think the drivers are slightly more mellow in Dallas...

[Fenris]

20. Dallas is filled with slow Sunday drivers compared to Houston

My favorite was the transfer from I-45 South to 610. I remember once having less than 1/4 of a mile to cross over four lanes to get to the exit I wanted. I thought I was going to die.

I miss home...oh wait, no I don't.

[Rockholm]

31. I Went to College in Houston!

[TXlib]

42. I used to live in Massachussetts!

Franklin, specifically, between 1982-1988. My parents moved away to Altanta GA in 1993.

[Rockholm]

52. Wow, I was in Houston from 1982-1986!!!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

8. ALL HAIL TXLIB! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

[Az]

9. Far too sweet

I had an incident like that once. Was out driving around in a Dodge Rampage (part pickup, part sportscar). Anyway sitting at this red light the Nova pulls up alongside loaded with kids. They pop their engine at me so I pop mine back. We make it pretty clear we are going to lite em up at the green and I make no attempt to suggest otherwise. Of course I seem to be the only one that has noticed the cop sitting at the corner. They take off and I gently pull away from the light. Suddenly its Xmas and they get pulled over as I slowly ease past them.

[fudge stripe cookays]

11. Perfect! I have a car adornment for you...

A bumper sticker I found the other day online.

"It takes more than a chrome fish, pal."

I SOOOOOO want one of those.

[TXlib]

12. Hey, I like that!

It seems to me the more proclamations of christianity on a vehicle, the more the driver is likely to be an aggressive asshole.

[smirkymonkey]

53. Yeah, go figure....

Why are all the fundies so angry and hateful?? I mean, what kind of religion is that?

Just like the SUV, the McMansion & the face lifts, the cross & the fish are only for show.

[Bertha Venation]

15. Where did you find it?

I want one! :D

[fudge stripe cookays]

18. Crap! I was sure I had bookmarked the link...it's here somewhere...

Technical difficulties. Please stand by.

[fudge stripe cookays]

19. Aha! Here it is.

http://www.cafeshops.com/theangryliberal.8028373

There's some other great ones there, too. Ya'll go shopping!

[Bertha Venation]

23. Thanks!

BTW I dig your name.

[fudge stripe cookays]

24. Thanks honey, I dig yours too. n/t

[redqueen]

33. Thanks FSC!

:yourock:

[Az]

27. From the other side

I typically have the evolve fishies on my car. And having had quite a number of them stolen (as well as other acts of vandalism)(for which reason I use magnetic backing instead of sticking them to my car) I have considered placing a sticker on the reverse side stating simply "Thou Shall Not Steal".

[TXlib]

28. Heh! I like it!

But reminding them of one of the ten commandments is prolly not going to help, since anybody who would vandalize your car or steal your evolve fish because it offends their religious sensibilities understands only the form, but not the substance, of their professed religion.

[TheMightyFavog]

35. Sounds like you need

evolvefish.com's Act of god insurance policy!

http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/emblems.html

[trotsky]

13. Hot damn!!!

Maybe there IS a god!

[HawkerHurricane]

14. Reminds me of a story...

and treat it as just a story, because it didn't actually happen.

"One day while on patrol, I noted a car with a Jesus fish, a bumper sticker that said 'Choose Life', and another that had 'WWJD?'. As the light ahead turned yellow, the auto in front of the vehicle came to a stop rather than run the yellow light. The driver of the car behind (covered with Christian{sic} bumper stickers) proceeded to honk her horn and make obscene gestures at the car which had stopped in front of her. I immediately hit the lights and siren, pulling her over. I had her exit the car, frisked and handcuffed her, and took her to the station house. I did a check, and then released her, with a apology:
"Sorry, Ma'am. Given the bumper stickers on the vehicle, compared with the way you were acting, I assumed that you had stolen the car!"

[MountainLaurel]

17. Oh Hawker

"Sorry, Ma'am. Given the bumper stickers on the vehicle, compared with the way you were acting, I assumed that you had stolen the car!"

You are my new hero!

:yourock:

[HFishbine]

16. "But officer..."

"I was in a hurry to get home and stone my children."

[redqueen]

34. Ouch

after that story yesterday, that stung :(

[JM]

21. I once had a tailgater riding my bumper...

...for about 10 miles despite every warning I could think of.

I waited until I was in the dead center of the Fort Pitt Tunnel, stopped, and put it in park. I waited long enough for the asshole to come over to my car, at which point I flipped him off waved, and took off.

There is a reason why my company is named Angry Arms, Inc. (See our animated logo below)

Later,
JM

[johnnie]

22. What????........

.....no "Jesus is my co-pilot" sticker?
Great story....thanks!

[Ganja Ninja]

25. If they aren't sporting Jesus stickers then it's flags ....

and as always the ever present "United We Stand." United we stand as they weave in and out flipping people off as they go. Thank God there was a cop around this time.

[TheMightyFavog]

26. Isn't instant karma wonderful sometimes?

End of Line.

[nini]

29. was she an amazon?

doubtful.. we don't need big ass SUVs to make people afraid of us!

[TXlib]

39. No, I don't think so.

[Iris]

30. kick

[redqueen]

32. Thank you TXlib!

Reading that made me all warm and tingly too!

I'm always afraid to confront the drivers of those ubiquitous RW-logo-festooned, road-raging SUVs... bless you for this vicarious thrill!

:loveya:

[Iris]

36. I don't know what's more offensive

the "Got Jesus," the jesus fish and the pro-life (of a fetus) stuff or the damn talking on the phone, which in my mind shows a blatant disregard for ANYONE'S life, including your own.

[TXlib]

40. Or the uncontrolled road rage, which shows a blatant disregard for

not only my life, and the life of the drivers in oncoming traffic, but of her self-professed religion.

[ronnykmarshall]

37. That was beautiful

Have a great weekend TXlib!

[redqueen]

38. Kick

Too good for anyone to miss. :)

[TXlib]

41. Epilog

I forgot to add, since i had slowed down so I could laugh at her, not only she, but the police cruiser passed me by.

As the cop passed, he tipped his hat to me, and gave me a thumbs-up.

I interpreted that as, "Hey Buddy, I'm pulling her over for being an asshole to you."

I smiled and returned the thumbs-up.

[redqueen]

44. *sigh*

Good times... good times. :D

[fudge stripe cookays]

54. I would LOVE to have been a fly on the window of THAT vehicle, just to

hear what he had to say to her.

I'm sure that conversation was GOLDEN.

[leftofthedial]

43. you rock!

A dead fish car emblem . . . $20
Donation to get a Bush/Cheney 04 sticker . . . $100
A cell phone . . . $120
A tank of gas for your monster truck . . . $150
A ticket for reckless driving . . . $500
Having an aneurism in traffic . . . priceless

[Westegg]

45. Bee--yooo-ti-ful, baby! Hollywood couldn't script it better!

[TXlib]

46. My tingly feeling persists 9 hours later.

I bet she's still FUMING.

That rage is going to devour her.

[redqueen]

47. Let's just hope she screams about it to the wrong "Christian" friend

and they give her an earful about her bad habits!

Okay, but one can dream, right?

[cmf]

48. This warms my heart

I know it's a horrible thing to say. I'm just happy the good guys won for once. I used to live in Houston, and I agree, there were some awful, high-strung drivers there. And most of them were driving huge SUVs. Congrats!

[Zookeeper]

49. Beautiful story, TXlib!

I have TWO extremely conservative Baptist colleges within two miles of my home and the students (usually sporting "fish") all drive like they know they've got Jesus on their side and screw everyone else.

[BlueJazz]

50. God!...I love it when a plan comes together!

Wouldn't you have loved to have been the cop? .....
...And on top of it a Liberal cop?
MMMMuuuuuOOOWWWW!

[SW FL Dem]

51. Splat - just spit a good sip of wine on the monitor

Revenge is sweet. Hope she gets cited for reckless driving and worse. You just described 90% of the PTA mom's I've been dealing with since I moved to this RW town. Full of attitude and devoid of conscience.

[Bride of Cthulhu]

55. Thats great.

I love it.

[Redleg]

56. Beee-uuuu-tiful

I love it. Another one bites the friggin' dust!

On edit: I do know how to spell "beautiful."