CAPTION the trippy psychedelic preview of convention visuals

[cosmicdot]

background music: Arthur Brown's 'Fire'

I am the god of hell fire and I bring you:
Fire, I'll take you to burn.
Fire, I'll take you to learn.
I'll see you burn!
You fought hard and you saved and learned,
but all of it's going to burn.
And your mind, your tiny mind,
you know you've really been so blind.
Now 's your time burn your mind.
You're falling far too far behind.
Oh no, oh no, oh no, you gonna burn!
Fire, to destroy all you've done.
Fire, to end all you've become.
I'll feel you burn!
You've been living like a little girl,
in the middle of your little world.
And your mind, your tiny mind,
you know you've really been so blind.
Now 's your time burn your mind,
you're falling far too far behind.

[BringEmOn]

1. Everybody is required to drink Kool-Aid before entering

the convention.

[skip fox]

2. W. is dreaming: "Then the convention floor resounds with thousands of

duck calls (boy, we're going to put L.L.Bean back in business!), and I go out on stage and the cameras are smearing my picture all over the hall and out into the world and even people at their t.v. sets are blowing duck calls so you can hear ducks all over all the neighborhoods of America, and when I walk out everybody's heart is just about gonna stop, thinking, 'Here he is at last! Duck Wad!!! It's the Wad, and oh my god I'm gonna faint unless I blow somemore into this here duck call. I swear it's just like the second coming' and stuff."

[cosmicdot]

5. I see people so full of Duck Wad spirit ... they'll be running wildly

as if they were in a frenzy ... blowing their duck calls with abandon ...

[wysimdnwyg]

3. AP: Is President Bush off the Wagon?

President Bush has long made it known that he is a recovering alcoholic. There have also long been rumors that he was into a lot more than alcohol in his younger days, but Bush has always denied those rumors. In a move many are already questioning, though, Bush's plans for the Republican Convention seem to lend credence to those rumors. In the words of one unnamed source, "it reminds me of my college days when I was using a lot of drugs. I'd say whoever came up with this idea was whacked out of his gourd." There has been no comment from either the White House or the GOP.

[JAbuchan08]

4. And now to lead us in the 30 (?) second hate...

Our great leader, Big Bru... I mean your president George W. Bush