Jackpine Radical
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Tue Apr-26-11 03:25 PM
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Excerpts from Medical Chart Notes: |
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1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. She is numb from her toes down.
15. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
16. The skin was moist and dry.
17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
20. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ____, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
27. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
28. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.
29. Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
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freshwest
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Tue Apr-26-11 03:34 PM
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NV Whino
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Tue Apr-26-11 08:01 PM
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2. Best health care in the world |
kimi
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Tue Apr-26-11 08:07 PM
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3. I used to work as an RN |
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so I know how most of these chartings could've happened. I even get the "hot in bed last night" note.
But - "found in bed with power mower"?? That has me stumped. (no pun intended) LOL
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dixiegrrrrl
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Tue Apr-26-11 08:17 PM
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4. An actual chart I read in our clinic described |
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a patient's leg as having "gang green". The more I thought about it, the more I realized it might have been an accurate description.
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undeterred
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Tue Apr-26-11 08:25 PM
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5. I remember a nurse who charted (many years ago) |
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that the patient has been taking "cat naps" all day. Some of the other nurses were all over her saying it wasn't a medical term, but everybody knew what she meant.
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kentauros
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Tue Apr-26-11 10:21 PM
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6. I was fine with a few chuckles and guffaws, until I hit #27 |
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27. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. :spray: :rofl: Why does MFM come to mind first? :P
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emilyg
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Tue Apr-26-11 11:00 PM
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hifiguy
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Wed Apr-27-11 09:23 AM
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8. The deceased will deliver the eulogy |
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after which there will be 30 minutes for rebuttals.
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applegrove
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Wed Apr-27-11 08:01 PM
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Duer 157099
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Wed Apr-27-11 08:25 PM
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10. Ouch! I hurt from laughing so hard! Someone call a doctor. n/t |
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Fri Apr 19th 2024, 10:36 PM
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