Morissette takes Internet minister course to marry gay friends

[Bill of Rights]

Alanis Morisette wanted to perform marriage ceremonies for her gay friends, so she took a course on the Internet to become a minister. I wonder if she will form a church on the 'net.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_907511.html?menu=news.quirkies

[unblock]

1. isn't she already god?

why does she have to take a course if she's already god?

remember that movie with matt affleck and ben damon?

:evilgrin:

[salvorhardin]

2. Free online ordination, no course required

The Universal Life Church of Modesto, California offers free, online ordinations and you don't even need to take a course! Of course, if you want you can buy their Ultimate Marriage Ministry Package for only $109.95 (a $160 value!) which now includes a bonus Wedding Words on Disc and Wedding "How To" video! What a deal folks! :-)

[rustydog]

4. But wait! there's more!

If you order in the next 30 minutes, we'll include the actual nails used in the movie "The Passion of the Christ".
Call in now!

[LTR]

3. I got this spam a while back

And for some reason, it was so funny, I had to save it.

Here goes:

Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48
hours!!!! CS

BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!

WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior
to conducting the ceremony.

FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior
to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.

FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the
better!!

VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!


At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk
about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd
say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much.
Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can
benefit from the power of it.

Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister
Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire
life-changing course for only $29.95.

For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!


***********************************************************************

LIMITED TIME OFFER: ORDER TODAY!
SEND Only $29.95 US
(CREDIT CARD, CASH, CHECK, OR MONEY ORDER)
SHIPPING IS FREE!!! For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.

To place your order merely fill out the following form and fax to 775-269-6101.
If this line is busy, please try faxing to 1-775-258-8471.

Internet Information Services Inc.
Billings, MT

(ALL ORDERS FILLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIVING THEM)
*Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail.
If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the
late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order.

*************************

Credit Card Order Form
(Please print very clearly in dark ink)

Name on Credit Card:

Address:

City/State/ZIP:

Your email address:

Your card will be charged $29.95 for your Ministers' Certificate.
For Shipping OUTSIDE the US please add $11.00.

Credit Card Number:
Sorry, we do not accept discover.

Date Credit Card Expires:

Please tell us your phone Number:

Please tell us your fax Number:

To order by Check or Money Order:

Thank you for your business,

Internet Information Services Inc.
Billings, MT

Fax to 775-269-6101.

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