Bathroom Ettiquette for all you dumbasses out there

[Incitatus]

Flush the damn toilet.

[BillStein]

1. geeze

next you'll probably tell us to wash our hands!

[raccoon]

2. The maid at my workplace says lots of people don't seem to know to do that.

Or for whatever reason, they don't do it. :shrug:

[RSillsbee]

22. I'm guessing

Most people do not like to touch the handles of the toilet in a public place. More and more places are going to automatic flushers

[demosincebirth]

48. Thats ok for urinals, but how about the other, if you kknow what I mean

[RSillsbee]

50. A comode can be fitted w/ an auto flusher as well NT

[demosincebirth]

54. I guess you, really, don't know what I mean. nt

[RSillsbee]

62. I guess I don't sorry. NT

[nolabear]

3. And MUST I bring up the subject of seat up/seat down?

Wet asses in the middle of the night are no fun, guys.

[ohiosmith]

4. That is why women should always raise the seat after they have finished.

:hide:

[freshwest]

98. Yeah, you better hide behind that wall, brother!

[bigwillq]

16. You don't look at the seat before you sit down?

I always do.

I find it very strange that folks actually "fall" into the toilet. Don't you look?

[nolabear]

55. I DO look, But it's the considerate thing to do.

I also flush, though I don't have to. And clean so it'll be pleasamt for others.

But I have almost fallen in when blind asleep, so why not be helpful.

[csziggy]

59. The one time I fell in was after surgery

I was doped up, barely able to get around, tottered to the john in the middle of the night, sat down to the level where the seat was supposed to be, and SPLASH! The thing that pissed me off was that was MY bathroom - hubby has one of his own where he can leave the seat up anytime he wants. He got an earful that night, especially since that slip made my shoulder ache worse.

[DebJ]

69. (Ex) hubby did that to me when I was 8 mos pregnant. Not

a pretty sight. Very difficult to extract oneself with an 8 lb baby pinning you down.

[csziggy]

89. Oh, man - that had to have s*cked!

Men just don't realize that women have much more need for that seat than they do.

[Darth_Kitten]

72. The default position is the seat being DOWN.

Women are not maids or servants, if you move something, put it back. Why is it someone else's job? :shrug:

[bigwillq]

73. I always put it down.

But I also don't just sit down without looking.

[Darth_Kitten]

74. Well, I look too, but if somebody has to make a visit in the middle of the night....

just saying. :)

[bigwillq]

75. True

:)

[TorchTheWitch]

82. The default position is seat AND LID down

There is a reason that it has a lid. Close it when you're finished using the toilet and THEN flush.

And for heaven's sake, CLEAN the toilet inside and out regularly and often.

[freshwest]

99. +1

[Patiod]

102. Absolutely 100% correct (nt)

[MicaelS]

43. Women can put the seat down, as easy as the man

Can lift it up.

[nolabear]

56. True dat. But trust me, they'll like you better if you do.

[Darth_Kitten]

70. Seat is meant to be down. If you lift it up,you put it down. Period.

n/t

[WinkyDink]

80. Um....the default position of ANY seat (car, plane, toilet) is DOWN.

[MicaelS]

81. Wrong...

Jump seats for all vehicles are built by design to fold up out of the way when not in use.

[freshwest]

100. Taken a number of trips on the porcelain throne, have you?

:rofl:

[TorchTheWitch]

85. but if HE lifts it up it's HIS job to put it down

Just like if HE opens a drawer or cabinet or closet door it's HIS job to close it. If you open it, pull it out or lift it up it's YOUR job to close it.

[DBoon]

53. my dog taught me to put the seat down

nothing like a wet tongue to the face after enthusiastically drinking toilet water...

[TorchTheWitch]

83. or sitting on all the dribble left on the seat

Seat and lid down when not in use.

Ever sit on a toilet seat in a bathroom where the lid is not normally closed where someone used hairspray and other such sprays in the bathroom? Sticky and gross. Keeping the lid up in a tiny room where there are lots of little bottles and tubes of stuff is an unnecessary hazard. Every single person I've ever known who normally doesn't keep the lid shut has had things knocked into the toilet at one time or another... sometimes really important things like a bottle of medicine or a cell phone.

The toilet has a lid for a reason. Keep it closed when the toilet is not in use.

[Darth_Kitten]

71. +100000000000000000000000000

:)

[WolverineDG]

77. Not to mention that the spray from flushing the toilet

leaves shit all over the place...including your tooth brush......so put the lid down before you flush.

dg

[WinkyDink]

79. In all seriousness: A man should NOT wish a woman to touch a toilet seat.

[Forkboy]

90. This is why I plan on staying single forever.

I'm sure your post is serious in it's way, yet in good fun, but I've seen couples who take this shit seriously. I've seen couples fight over leaving the toothpaste cap off. I honestly don't ever want to be with anyone where trivial things like this are an issue.

Sorry about your wet ass though. ;)

[provis99]

96. and that's why I always leave the seat down.

Hey if the stream hits the seat, at least they can't complain I had the seat up...

[Pool Hall Ace]

5. If you use a sanitary seat cover

and it sticks to your ass until you stand up, then drops to the floor, please PICK IT UP and either flush it or put it in the trash. :grr:

[LynneSin]

10. that's called an ass gasket

:D

[TorchTheWitch]

13. I thought it was a butt washer

And heaven knows some people could really use having their butt adhere more securely to the damn toilet in the first place what with all the stuff that ends up on or around the toilet instead of IN it.

But ass gasket works.

[pink-o]

78. I remember driving across the country in 1972

...and those toilet seat covers were called "Nixon Campaign Hats" back then!

[Gidney N Cloyd]

11. And if you do that thing where you put strips of TP on the seat, don't just leave it there!!!

[TorchTheWitch]

14. and that's called building a nest or nesting

After you build and use the nest, flush it. Nobody wants to have to sit or deal with discarding a USED nest.

[Pool Hall Ace]

21. I admire your knowledge of bathroom vocabulary.

:rofl:

[TorchTheWitch]

26. I got that one from an old girlfriend of one of my brothers

She has such a great wit. Fortunately, they've always remained close friends though she is married now and has a few kids. He was even the best man at her wedding. Kind of odd, but it's wonderful that I can still see and talk to her just as much as I did during the years my brother and her were a couple.

[shanti]

68. you're killing me!

:rofl:

[MilesColtrane]

6. I don't want to have to explain the concept of a courtesy flush.

Just do it.

[madinmaryland]

7. I always wanted to use this smilie...

:hurts:

[freshwest]

19. This is probably the only place for it. I can't figure it out. Not enough fruit?

[seabeyond]

8. as i told son YESTERDAY, dont go in MY bathroom and take the roll of toilet paper

without returning it. go downstairs and bring up 12 pack and put new roll in YOUR bathroom.

flushing. kids use the guest bathroom. when young and someone wanted to use that bathroom, i would have to run thru house first to make sure they flushed. last couple years, it is. but boy, when young, was a tough concept for them. they hated the noise, worse.

[LynneSin]

9. And make sure you get rid of that damn ass gasket you had to put on the toilet seat

:grr:

45 years of life and I've yet to catch anything off the seat of a damn toilet. Yet we have to deal with these wusses whose asses are so delicate they have to put a damn piece of paper between their ass and the toilet seat. Mind you your hand is probably touching the toilet seat and I can almost guarentee while you're sitting on the toilet that same hand will pick your damn nose!

Ok I'm not going to get you to give up the ass gasket but seriously, I really don't want to use your leftover waste of stuff. When you're done make sure the damn thing is flushed!

[TorchTheWitch]

12. and do your stuff IN the toilet

On it or around it is a no-no. And if you do miss getting it IN the toilet... CLEAN IT UP. Nobody else should be subjected to having to clean up your inability to get all your stuff IN the toilet before they can use the toilet themselves.

[nadine_mn]

52. damn hover-ers

sit on the damn toilet

[rug]

15. That wastes water.

[kick-ass-bob]

23. I have no problem peeing on/in someone else's pee.

I will not, however, take a seat over someone else's pee.

Nor will I lay a 2 micrometer thick layer of dissolvable paper that somehow leads people to think they are protected from something on the seat. :evilgrin:

:hide:

[Duer 157099]

28. I always thought that protector was to keep your ass dry if someone pissed on the seat

that's why one side has a sort-of water barrier type coating.

[kick-ass-bob]

29. I meant the "toilet paper seat cover"

You know, the 3 strips of TP that so eloquently covers the seat.

:D

[Duer 157099]

32. Oh, that. Well, I've resorted to that too

and for the same reason, to see if any liquid is present, and if it is, it gets absorbed and i push it into the toilet before putting dry stuff back down.

I'm not afraid of the germs, it's the piss I don't want to sit in.

[Pool Hall Ace]

87. Well, I learned something new today.

I did not know that one side had a barrier-type coating! :)

[TorchTheWitch]

61. you need to build a nest to protect your bits

Gotta build a sturdy protective nest because that film of gauze paper is useless. And I hate the flap that drops into the bowl supposedly so the whole film of gauze gets swept down the bowl when you flush... backsplash from that flap laying on top of the water on my girly bits defeats the whole damn point to the film of gauze in the first place.

Nope... gotta just build that sturdy protective nest. Duct tape it down so you don't get the unexpected and terrifying shift so that some minute portion of your butt just might be actually touching the bare toilet seat. Hate having to do that balancing act on one cheek when the nest does that unexpected and terrifying shift.

[WildEyedLiberal]

86. This is such a fantastic post

:rofl:

[kimi]

92. Yes, yes, yes

That damn flap. And sometimes the stupid flap, when I turn around to sit after I've laid the frickin thing on the seat, pulls the cover INTO the toilet without my seeing it happen, so all of a sudden without my knowledge I'm sitting bare-assed on the toilet after all.

But that toilet paper nest can be a difficult thing to negotiate. Some stalls have better paper than others. Some of those rolls DO NOT want to give up their paper and you end up clawing chunks of paper out of them for what seems like hours, getting more frustrated all the time as your urge to pee increases. I hate cheap toilet paper in the stalls.

[TorchTheWitch]

94. and seat covers that don't even FIT the damn seat in the first place!

What the hell is the point to a seat cover when it's not cut to fit the shape of the seat? Am I supposed to hop around the stall holding in my pee while I try doing origami on the damn seat cover to make it fit the damn seat? Do I need to bring tape, glue, measuring tape and a damn sewing machine in there with me to make that ridiculous seat cover actually fit the dimensions of the seat?

Oh, a pox on those spindles that only let you have half a square of toilet paper at a time! What the hell good is a half a square of toilet paper to anyone bigger than a gerbil? Now I also need to bring in a tool box along with the sewing machine and everything else to take apart the toilet paper dispenser just so I can have a reasonable number of squares to wipe with so I don't have to sit there until the next day drip drying? Bah!

Come to think of it, no wonder people are pissing on and around the toilet.

Just gotta build that sturdy protective nest and duct tape it down.

[rubberducky]

103. Why, oh why can I not rec your post? Too funny!

[RedCloud]

17. And poetry too!

Be like dad.
Not like sis.
Lift the lid
When you piss.

Any others?

[demmiblue]

20. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be neat and wipe the seat.

:P

[Iggo]

18. If it's yellow, let it mellow.

If it's brown, flush it down.

[ohiosmith]

24. Don't sit in the stall talking on your cell phone. It's more than a little creepy.

:hurts:

[kick-ass-bob]

33. And you know how many phones are lost because of that?

It's actually staggering, the numbers that are dropped in the damn toilet.

:eyes:

Edit for article:
Now, it is the Brits, so, well, you know...
http://www.cellular-news.com/story/24145.php

[geardaddy]

25. And stop peeing on the seat.

Use the damn urinal.

[kick-ass-bob]

38. Should we pee on the handle instead?

:evilgrin:

[geardaddy]

39. If I go into a public restroom where there are open urinals

it really sticks in my craw when someone goes into a stall to pee. I don't know why, it just does.

[kick-ass-bob]

40. Maybe they have difficult underwear.

Or a small woo-woo.

:evilgrin:

You'd think I'm drunk posting, but I'm not. :crazy:

[geardaddy]

41. So, I can assume that

not well-endowed Mormons use the stalls to pee, not the urinals?

;)

[kick-ass-bob]

42. That is an excellent hypothesis.

You should test it. :D

[MicaelS]

44. Some people suffer from "shy bladder syndrome"

AKA Paruresis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paruresis

Paruresis is a type of phobia in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the (real or imaginary) presence of others, such as in a public restroom. It most commonly affects males, though there are female sufferers too. The analogous condition that affects bowel movement is called parcopresis.

That why many men use the stall.

[kick-ass-bob]

46. also this pic:

Please visit http://www.icbe.org/
The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette
Performing #1 and #2 in comfort and style since 1995

[Pool Hall Ace]

88. I don't understand this symbol. Is this to prevent some sort of Larry Craig mixup?

Don't take the stall next to one that is already occupied?

[krispos42]

58. I will use the urinal. I won't use the trench.

That's just uncivilized.

[geardaddy]

60. I call it the trough

but I know what you mean.

[Initech]

64. Reminds me of a line from the Drew Carey show:

"How come there's no couch in the men's room?"
"If there was, would you want to lay on it?"

:rofl:

[mysuzuki2]

27. I will forgive a 4 year old for not flushing.

older than that, not so much.

[kick-ass-bob]

30. I won't. 50 lashes.

:crazy:

[LynneSin]

31. How will you prepare that 4-year-old for the hardships of life if you forgive

:hide:

[KeepItReal]

34. and wash your hands!

y'all are nasty!

[kick-ass-bob]

35. but what if you sit to pee and don't touch anything?

Are you in the clear then? :rofl:


Side note: I killed a roach in the mens bathroom on the wall at my work and it took 6 months before the 'spot' was cleaned off.
And don't get me started when the soap is empty. :eyes:

[freshwest]

36. Nah, you touched your underwear. Check the ewww thread. You may have cooties.

[kick-ass-bob]

37. Thank God I had my wallet in that handy pouch of my underwear.

:bounce::bounce:

[Iggo]

45. Oh is THAT what that pouch is for?

I been keeping my johnson there.

[kick-ass-bob]

47. isn't that uncomfortable?

Doesn't it pinch?

[Iggo]

49. Sadly, no. (n/t)

[kimi]

51. This whole thread reminds me of a joke

(Well, duh.)

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

[Monk06]

67. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Not_Giving_Up]

57. In our house, we close the lid completely

Had a cat that played in the toilet....My hubby doesn't flush after he pees, but will after the other...I hate seeing pee just sitting there...ick!

If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie!

[Initech]

63. This one's for guys only: Don't be a douche and use the center urinal.

That one always pisses me off (literally in this case). Seriously - it's an asshole move to use the middle urinal in a set of three. Either use the one to the left or the one to the right, don't use the center one!

[Monk06]

66. But what if I'm lonely ?

[Forkboy]

91. Consider yourself lucky I don't just piss on all three.

:yoiks:

[TK421]

65. they never seem to do that n/t

[WolverineDG]

76. wash your hands before you leave the bathroom too

I was in a public restroom this past week & some lady walked right out of her stall & out the door. Didn't even stop at the sink to at least run water over her hands. GROSS!

dg

[Kali]

84. nah, I'd rather they didn't bother if all they are going to do is wet their fingertips

what is the point? don't bother if you aren't going to actually WASH your hands - to the wrist, with soap


oh and one reason to skip the wash? those damn rocket engine "hand driers" I HATE those things. I don't care if you cut down the last tree on the planet, put some freaking paper towels in the bathroom.

[flying rabbit]

95. Nah, I wash my junk in the morning

My hands stay Irish spring fresh after doing my business.
:evilgrin:

[Skittles]

93. you people who don't wash up after leaving a stall at work

your coworkers rat you out to everyone

[BiggJawn]

97. Be like Pop, not like Sis, lift the seat before you piss.

Burma Shave

[HughBeaumont]

101. Sorry if anyone has a problem that I have a problem with this . . .

. . . but I cannot do #2 with some other dude less than a foot away from me doing the same thing. I don't care about "when you gotta go, you gotta go", guys who can do that without issue are fucking creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. I want a lockable bathroom and my building has none. So I'm stuck with a bunch of way-the-hell-too casual idiots who care nothing about ruining my solitude.