Dropped moist cat food in the stovetop stuffing.

[JohnnyLib2]

Critique to follow. Wife not happy.

[marzipanni]

1. What flavor? n/t

[JohnnyLib2]

2. Rotisserie chicken!

Not bad, but I'm not trying the fish.....

[provis99]

20. Rotisserie chicken?

You should have thrown out the stove top stuffing and just had the cat food!

[susanr516]

3. Sorry, we can't make it to your house for Thanksgiving

but thanks for asking us.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

OMG, that's the biggest laugh I had all day.

My parents did not have a lot of discretionary money when I was a child. On more than one occasion, something terrible happened while my mom and I were cooking dinner. One time, we were making spaghetti. We had just poured the seasoning packet over the ground meat when we realized there were weevils in the sauce packet. Mother kept skimming off the dead bodies as they rose to the top of the sauce, saying, over and over: "Don't you dare tell your Daddy! And I better see you EATING this at the table!" Another time, Mother had just beaten a round steak into total submission when the dog stole it off the kitchen counter. Mother grabbed a broom and chased the dog, screaming, "Give me that steak, you son of a bitch!" She wrestled that steak away from the dog and rinsed it off, saying, "Don't you tell your Daddy what happened."

:rofl: :cry: :rofl: :cry:


Damn, I miss my parents.

[JohnnyLib2]

5. LOL, I would have loved your Mom.

[susanr516]

16. She was quite a character

She was so funny when she lost her temper. We'd be doubled up laughing, and she'd yell, "This is NOT funny!" which, of course, would just make us laugh harder. She always worried about saving a penny here, a nickel there. A couple of years before she died, my sister and brother-in-law took over handling her finances, as she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. A few months later, Mother told me, "I've always worried about whether or not I'd have enough money to live on, but Bill (my BIL) tells me I'm a rich old bitch now, so I'm just going to take his word for it."

:rofl:


Indeed, she did have more than enough money to live quite comfortably the rest of her life.

[A HERETIC I AM]

4. Add more sage.

No one will notice a fucking thing.

Don't ask me how I know this.

[JohnnyLib2]

6. We have a prodigal son.

A Republican, that is. I blamed his party.

[CBGLuthier]

7. If it was that boxed stove top stuff, how could it hurt?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. If you don't say anything nobody will notice.

[Forkboy]

9. Friskies? I'm staying!!!

[Skittles]

10. SCHEDULING JohnnyLib2 FOR ASS KICKING

*EGREGIOUS*

[JohnnyLib2]

11. Whoooooo! I've hit the big time.

Ass-kickin' wise. :evilgrin:

[Skittles]

14. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOUR WIFE IS DONE WITH YOU

:rofl:

[kimi]

12. Depends on the brand

Friskies Prime Filets actually look kinda tasty. Although I'm vegetarian, I could envision being hungry enough to . . .


Whiskas, on the other hand. . . :puke:

[nolabear]

13. Wife, hell. How's the cat taking it?

NOM nomnomnomnomnom...

[JohnnyLib2]

15. Turned up her nose at the stuffing!

[freshwest]

21. You should take a hint. The cat knows what's good.

[hifiguy]

17. You have an advance on the Repukes

We will all be eating cat food within a few years. :(

[Withywindle]

18. Don't you know you're not supposed to tell?!?

No one would notice if you didn't!

[murielm99]

19. I remember when I was about eight years old, and

staying with my aunt and uncle. They had a great dog named Bruno.

One morning, I got up early and fixed myself some cereal. Bruno was right next to me when I opened the fridge. There was a sausage on a plate. Bruno started licking it. I said, "Bruno, no!"

Being a good dog, he went to lie down under the kitchen table.

I did not remember to tell my aunt until much later in the day. She said, "Oh ish! I put that in Bob's lunch. Don't say anything, and he will never know."

I never said a word. But SHE asked him if he enjoyed his lunch. He looked puzzled and said, "Yes?"

We all laughed hysterically. For the rest of the summer, we laughed if anyone suggested putting sausage on the menu.

[BiggJawn]

22. How'd the cat like it?

I'm not too fond of Stove Top, but the dog liked it.
On Edit: Aww, I didn't read the whole thread. Joke's stale...