Supermarket checkout line etiquette for all you dumbasses out there:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Have your coupons ready.
2. Have your credit card/check/cash ready. Do not dig around in your purse for the loose change you need after the checker has rung up your purchase.
3. Do not stand at the counter and balance your checking account after you have made your purchase.
4. Do not get to the head of the line and decide there's one more thing you need, and leave your cart there while you go to find that last thing and everybody waits for you.
5. Finally, and most importantly, do not eavesdrop on or have conversations with teabaggers/libertarians/Bible-thumpers so you can get into an argument with them, crush them with your logic, and then brag about it on DU.

[RedCloud]

1. And to the dumbass stores: It's fucking 12 items or FEWER.

"Less" is for non-count items, such as water or bad breath.

[nolabear]

7. + a brazillion.

C'mon, people, who's going to teach the children if the local market won't?

[kick-ass-bob]

2. Recced for #5.

:rofl:

of course:
Error: You can't recommend threads from this forum

So, just add a +1 to it :evilgrin:

[kentauros]

3. Here's another one:

7. Respect my "space" after they've finished ringing me up, but have not yet finished bagging. They can't start on your groceries until I'm out of the way. This applies to U-SCAN, too.

This too:

8. Do not hold up the line while you re-bag every dam bag because you didn't like how the bagger did his job (happened to me at Whole Foods as the older woman in front of me did just that, oblivious to anyone else.)

[Blue_Tires]

4. 6. Do not spread your 10 items along the entire conveyor belt

7. If the line is crowded and you have a lot of stuff, start emptying your cart as soon as there is space on the conveyor...

8. Do not argue for 20 minutes with the cashier not accepting your check for $150 in groceries because you forgot your driver's lic...You can ask the manager to come over, but HE DOES NOT CARE how many credit cards, rec center IDs, etc. you show him...

And for the convenience store/7-11 crowd:

9. STOP TAKING FUCKING 5 MINUTES TO DECIDE ON WHICH SCRATCH LOTTERY TICKETS YOU WANT, SCRATCHING THEM ALL ON THE COUNTER AND THEN REDEEMING YOUR WINNINGS (usually a free ticket) WHILE THE LINE IS 10 DEEP...

[ceile]

6. +1 for number 9.

OMG! I stood in line at my local Shell while someone bought exactly- EXACTLY- $100 in loto tickets. Took over 10 mins. I thought there was going to be a revolt.

[Bake]

5. And get the hell off your cell phone!!

Pay attention to your transaction!!

Bake

[geardaddy]

30. +1000

I asked a cashier once if that bothered them and they said it didn't, but I told her I thought it was rude.

[JohnnyLib2]

8. AMEN! Now--

how do I send #2 to my wife anonymously?

:scared:

[TheCentepedeShoes]

9. Don't barge in

between the guy in the motorized cart and the lady behind him because he's my husband, has some of the groceries and I have the money

[WinkyDink]

10. 10. Stand BEHIND your cart, where the HANDLEBAR is.

[TorchTheWitch]

13. us short people can't do that

The only way to unload the items in the deep part of the cart is to stand in front of it because we aren't tall enough to reach all the way into the cart if we stand at the back of it where the handle is. The only way I can unload a grocery cart at the checkout is to unload the stuff in the higher child seat section first then go to the front of the cart to unload the stuff in the big deep part of the cart.

They don't make carts for short people same as they don't build grocery shelves for short people. Every time I go shopping I have to climb the fucking skyscraper high shelves to get items I need. And it always seems that at least half the stuff I buy is ALWAYS on the highest shelf and waaaaaaaaaay at the back.

And you tall folks... how about lending us short folks a hand when you see us struggling to get an item off a high shelf instead of just standing there tapping your foot impatiently waiting for us to hurry and get out of your way? I can't count all the times I've climbed shelves for other short people when talk folks just stood there and watched all impatient that they have to wait.

[kentauros]

22. I help short people.

Or I do when it looks like they are in need of my help or they ask :)

I can't say I've ever seen other customers waiting impatiently for a short person to get what they're trying to reach without helping. Maybe it depends on where you live, or the demographics of the area. I've witnessed extremely rude behavior in the richest part of town here while in a "merely" affluent section of mostly professors and doctors it seemed to generate a friendlier customer base.

[Pool Hall Ace]

11. A couple of etiquette tips from a cashier

I work at a grocery store with 'cashier unload' checkstands (customer pulls up the buggy, cashier unloads, customer then waits to pay). DO NOT try to unload your groceries on to the small shelf. That is for customers to set down the smaller hand baskets.

Do not overshoot the scanner then begin to place your items on the belt. Groceries have to be scanned first, and the belt only travels in one direction.

Cashiers are expected to maintain an average scan time per order. No matter how adorable you think little Preshus is, having her hand one item at a time over to the cashier every 15 seconds can cause this average to drop precipitously. And if she wants to "help" by scanning, she's not allowed to do that. If it means that much to the both of you, go over to one of the self checkouts.

If you have to use your blokeberry to transfer funds from one account to another in order to pay for your groceries, please do that before they have been rung up!! I had a customer do that to me recently after 11:00 p.m., when I was the only cashier available. The customers behind him were not happy.

Don't be a Space Invader -- you and your children need to be standing on the other side of the checkstand--not behind me--when the cash drawer opens. That is just all kinds of awkward. :crazy:

[LynneSin]

19. And advice back to the Cashier!

Stop asking me about every purchase I am making. Seriously, if you really are thinking of trying some of the things I've purchased then purchase it yourself.

It's all about body language. If the customer isn't replying back to your questions like "Does this detergent really get all the stains out" or "you like this Rocky Road Ice Cream" then it's probably best to stop asking any more questions ESPECIALLY if the customer is giving you the stink eye!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. #5 should be posted as a sticky to the top of DU homepage. nt

[TorchTheWitch]

14. Do not make personal comments or ask personal questions

about what another customer is purchasing.

Honest to God I had a customer in front of me in line a few days ago when I was at the store ask me how I liked the brand of tampons I was buying as opposed to some other brand. I was so tempted to rudely ask some grossly personal question of her but didn't only because I was so horrified that she'd actually want to give me a truthful in-depth answer and want to discuss it.

[raccoon]

15. If you hadn't added # 5, I would have! nt

[Yavin4]

16. 9. Do Not Engage The Cashier in a Conversation when There's a Line

Your conversation about your recent vacation can wait until the line clears.

[kentauros]

20. What about engaging them in a conversation about their day being almost over,

in order to make them feel better from all the asshole customers they've likely had to put up with up to then? ;)

[GumboYaYa]

17. Do not think your time is so precious that you can not be patient

enough to allow someone else a little time for convenience or just because they want to be nice.

Geez, this thread sounds like a bunch of neurosurgeons who are being held back from brain surgery because of the interminable lines at the grocery store...if only I could be so important.

[kentauros]

21. I am often quite patient when in line.

The complaints here are primarily about the inconsiderate customers that are only thinking of themselves and no one else, as well as the truly impatient ones that are just as inconsiderate of others ;)

[LynneSin]

18. READ THE SIGNS DUMBASS - WHEN IT SAYS 'CASH ONLY'

don't think the cashier is going to make the exception for you.

[MicaelS]

23. I can save you lots of time....

0. Use the self-checkout lane.

[kentauros]

24. A lot of these apply to self-checkout, too.

On the whole, the real problem here are customers that are self-important and/or mindless. Those two characteristics complicate everything!

[MicaelS]

25. I used to fuss and fume about the same things, but

When I started using the self-checkout, I no longer have those concerns.

[kentauros]

26. I use self-checkout a lot, too.

But I still have the problem of the totally impatient customers that simply cannot wait for me to finish. Too often I've had to actually tell people "You have to wait until I'm out of the way before the machine will let you start." Even then, they still don't get it and try to start swiping their items before I've even picked up my receipt and bags, wondering why the machine isn't recognizing them. Again, mindless and/or self-important.

[MicaelS]

27. Agreed, the only thing that really irritates me now

Is people getting too close and "into my space" at the self-checkout. I shop at Kroger, and the people who work there are absolutely great. And they're Union too. Proof you can have great prices on groceries and a Union.

[kentauros]

28. We must shop at the same Kroger!

:hi:

Although I don't know if my local Kroger is union or not. I do live in Texas, afterall...

[MicaelS]

29. No, I live in Ft Worth n/t

[geardaddy]

31. And to Trader Joe's cashiers

Stop asking me about my day, what I'm going to do tonight, etc.

[geardaddy]

32. Dupe-tee-doop.

[Divameow77]

33. Another for the cashier

When you open a new checkout line the correct announcement is "I can help the NEXT person in line over here". That way the jackass at the rear of the current line knows he shouldn't run up there to get helped. He shouldn't, but he probably will anyway.

[kentauros]

34. Required reading for all grocery store complaints:

http://notalwaysright.com/tag/grocery-store :7