Aside from celebrity marriages, what reasons would one keep their own last name?

[Cannikin]

Rupert's wife started me thinking about the subject. It screams "my marriage is a business contract" to me.

[femmocrat]

1. My DIL did that.

Of course, we were the last to find out. :eyes:

I don't really know the reason!

[Arugula Latte]

2. But why should a woman change her last name?

I hyphenated, but now I wish I'd never done that. I am going to advise my daughter to just stick with her own name if she ever gets married (she's still very young and obviously it's her choice, but I'll put in my 2 cents). I love my husband and his family, and we have a happy marriage, but that name will never feel like "mine." Frankly, I feel like I gave up a piece of myself for no reason, even though I just tacked the "new" name (okay, it's been 16+ years) onto my real last name.

To clarify, the only reason I hyphenated was to have at least part of the same name as my future children, who are now very real and very beloved. But there are a lot of moms at my kids' schools who kept their own name, and it seems to work out fine and isn't too confusing for people.

[tabbycat31]

16. I feel the same way you do

Why should my identity have to change when his does not?

Besides the concept dates back to when women were considered property and her name change was symbolic of being her father's property then her husband's.

[trueblue2007]

36. MY FATHER WAS MURDERED 3 MONTHS BEFORE I GOT MARRIED

There were no sons to "carry on our last name" and i think my did would have agreed with my decision. I DON'T SEE THE NEED TO CHANGE MY NAME! I had been XXXXXXXX XXXXXX for 37 years. I will ALWAYS be that person.

Women changing their name when they get married is OUT OF DATE. WE ARE NOT CHATTEL. Move into the 21 century for crying out loud.

[rbnyc]

42. +1

Sorry about your dad.

[Rhiannon12866]

63. +2

:thumbsup: :hug:

[Dulcinea]

67. It's a matter of personal choice.

As people have already stated, many professional women, or those who marry later in life, choose to keep their names.

I couldn't hyphenate. Two ethnic names would have been too much!

[MicaelS]

3. IF the man states that IF

You don't take his last name ONLY, and if the kids don't have his last name ONLY, the marriage is off. Of course, this would probably be accompanied by a sizzle prenup. And if said man turns into a dog, the kids could always take their mother's name later, provided there wasn't a codicil in their trust fund to prevent that.

[kentauros]

4. My past-wife did that with mine.

I think she just likes how it sounds and looks versus her own, and I'm fine with her keeping it. It's her life :)

[Cannikin]

7. I do understand that. My last name is a derogatory term for backwards country folk.

Wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[kentauros]

9. Including Bills Hicks?

:P

[Cannikin]

11. We're not related.

;-) I guess I'm not trying to be anonymous on DU.

The only thing worse than my last name being Hicks is that my first name is Christian.

[kentauros]

12. Could be worse.

It could be "Bumpus" (from "A Christmas Story") }(

[GoCubsGo]

94. Oh, A LOT worse!

Seaman
Koch
Schmuck
Schnuck
Getzoff
Dick
Hyman
Hogg
Aycock...

AND

[Book Lover]

24. You can do something about that, just saying

http://www.ehow.com/how_7512413_change-last-name-arkansas.html

I know creating a court petition is not what people usually look forward to doing, but it is an option. My surname is a nationality (like "Chinese") and there have been plenty of dumb comments about it over the years...

[mythology]

98. In my experience it's kind of a pain in the ass if you're a guy

But I have horrid luck when it comes getting all the right documents to a government office. It took me three trips to the DMV to get my first driver's license.

But every time I fill out an application that requires a maiden name, nobody really knows if I'm supposed to use that field. Plus nobody really understands why a guy would change his name and I don't usually care to get deep into the reasons why I changes my last name with the person in HR.

[davsand]

5. If the woman has a professional identity prior to the marriage she might want to keep her name.

I gave up Davis as a last name to take my husband's name when we married (hence the davsand name...) I did it of my own choice, however, I have a few female friends that chose to keep their name when they married simply because they had an established identity as a business professional or as a politician.

If you worked years to build your reputation as an attorney or to build name recognition as a politician, you may not want to give that up.

Just sayin.



Laura

[Cannikin]

6. Thank you, Laura! Outside of Hollywood, I hadn't considered keeping it for professional reasons.

[elleng]

20. Amazing to me you hadn't considered this.

Where do you live? What do you do?

[Cannikin]

25. Currently disabled. Have worked in the physical therapy field for the last few years.

I've decided after reading this thread that it's because I've lived my entire life in the south, where keeping your name isn't as common yet.

[elleng]

31. Probably so. I'm in DC area, attorney, FULL of 'professional' women.

:hi:

[TZ]

8. +1000, my aunt who worked in politics/lobbying

did so..With the fact that her last name was known because of the fact she was on one of the Watergate investigation groups AND worked in the Carter White House, keeping her last name was pretty important. In DC name recognition is important. It was also the source of some memorable fights between her an my much more traditional grandmother (her MIL) who always tried to give her stuff with my Uncle's last name on it. (I was only 6 at the time, but I remember this fight well!)

[av8rdave]

70. In the scientific community, a woman often wants to keep her name because of work she has published

Especially if it's oft - cited work.

My son recently got married. His bride took his name, but only after a lot of consideration on her part. She wound up deciding that she will have a great deal more research published in the future, and she really wanted to take his name.

All in all, a personal choice, but there are certainly professional considerations that can impact that choice.

[distantearlywarning]

10. In academia, it's important to have a record of publications

Changing one's name in the middle of one's career could negatively impact one's reputation.

[Taverner]

13. I don't know why a woman WOULDN'T want to keep her name

It's her friggen name!

To me, hyphenation is a compromise.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

21. I can think of one reason ... Casey Anthony

Soon to be a blonde with a nondescript name.

Maybe after the book-signing tour.

:hi:

[LibertyLover]

14. I kept my name when I married -

First of all, I was older, mid-40s, when my husband and I married and I didn't want to change it. But more importantly, I work at a very large NGO (non-governmental organization) in Washington, DC. The vast majority of my colleagues are not American and generally English is their 3rd or 4th language. I had worked there for several years prior to my marriage and everyone knew me by my non-married last name. I'd seen what had happened to people there who did change their names and it wasn't easy for everyone else to remember. So, I didn't bother changing mine. It made things much easier over the years. What has been a bit of a problem is that my daughter has her father's last name. I have to prove that she is my daughter sometimes because over-zealous people at her school or a store think that I'm not related to her (she is internationally adopted and does not look like me). I've learned to carry both a copy of my wedding license and her home state issued birth certificate that lists me as her mother with me at all times.

[csziggy]

60. But the problem with a child having a different name dates far back

Before it was trendy for women to keep their maiden names, I grew up down the street from a family of five women, all of whom had different surnames. Grandmother, mother, and three daughters. The first daughter's father had been killed in the Korean War, the second's in an automobile accident, and eventually the mother divorced the third husband, remarried and kept her fourth husband's name after they were divorced.

It was very confusing for people who met the family for the first time. The advantage for the mother over your situation was that she had grown up in that small town and just about everyone knew her life history and why her daughters all had different names than her own.

[nolabear]

15. Why doesn't a man change his last name?

I did, but it is a pain and I use my birth name as my middle name as many women do. Particularly in this age of looking up people on the internet it's disconcerting that women can "disappear" because they give up the name that they were known by for their entire childhood.

I'm from a girls-only generation and had I not given my birth name (I hate "maiden name") to one of my sons as his middle name it would now be extinct in my line. I expect it will afterward, anyway, but maybe his kids will ask about it and we can tell him of that part of their heritage.

[pamela]

65. You raise a very good point.

I get calls, Facebook requests, etc all the time from old friends I had lost touch with. They can find me easily because I kept my name. It's easy to find my old male friends from high school and college but not so easy to find my female friends because their names have changed. You're so right-it's like they disappeared. I think that's sad.

[seaglass]

17. I didn't change my name for no other reason than it is my name and I felt like if I was called Mrs.

HusbandLastName I would disappear.

Of course I still get called Mrs HusbandLastName because people make assumptions. I don't make a big deal of it or correct people.

My kids used to laugh their butts off when one of their friends would call me Mrs. HusbandLastName

I got married in the 80s and I seriously thought I was the wave of the future, that fewer women would change their names upon marrying. So not the case.

[lukasahero]

53. Isn't it even better to be called

Mrs. Husband'sFirstName Husband'sLastName? I freakin' love those letters and phone calls. Makes it perfectly clear they don't know crap about me so I can dump them straight in the trash. :)

I enjoy the times when my husband is mistakenly called Mr. HerLastName though. :)

[seaglass]

62. My husband gets soooo mad when he is called Mr. MyLastName.

I really do not make a big deal of any of it though, I don't think my in-laws ever knew I didn't change my name. When I told my dad before I got married he said "what is that some kind of women's lib thing?":rofl:

[pamela]

64. My husband gets called MrMyLastName way more than I get called MrsHisLastName

When we got married we bought our house in the town where I had been living for many years. I switched my phone service, cable, electricity, etc to our new house so it's all in my name. I pay most of the bills and do most of the money, banking, insurance stuff so I always give my name when dealing with these matters. All the important stuff is in his name, too, but he gets a lot of mail, phone calls, etc addressed to MrMyLastName. He's pretty cool about it. Actually, it pisses me off more than him because it usually means that some company I've dealt with is asking for the "man of the house" even though I'm the one they should be asking for.

I'm stunned this question was asked on a progressive message board.

[seaglass]

73. It does amaze me sometimes how the male is deferred to in certain situations.

I also take care of all finances in our house but whenever we make a major purchase - furniture, cars, the salesperson always looks at my husband like he is the decider. LOL - we make joint decisions. The first time it happened when we were buying our dining room set I was shocked the guy was young definitely shouldn't have been a Leave it to Beaver throwback. Weird.

Also when I used to mail in our taxes, no matter how many times I would put my name on top and my husband as the spouse - because I was actually doing the taxes - the pre-printed labels ALWAYS came back with his name first. I know it's not that big of a deal but it is frustrating sometimes how our society reinforces expected roles with these little insults.

[riderinthestorm]

76. When we closed on the sale of our farm, I signed the top line on all the mortgage documents.

The mortgage bankers all commented that they had never had a woman sign on the top line before, that's usually "the husband's spot".

:rofl:

I too take care of all the business side of our marriage (our actual business too) and always have. We used to own and rent out a lake house in Michigan. We'd rehab them, rent them out for a couple of years, sell and repeat the process building equity and profit with each sale, ultimately turning over 5 properties total. Since my husband could rarely make the closings, I always had a POA and handled it alone so I never gave the location of where to sign a second thought when my husband and I sat down to close on the farm finally, together. Neither did my husband who passed all the documents to me to look over first!

[elleng]

18. Because its mine.

[Book Lover]

27. Plus One (nm)

[Digit]

50. Same here

I don't see any reason it needs to change.

[kimi]

19. Well, I changed my name when I got married

my maiden name is ridiculously hard to pronounce and can be mangled into a very embarrassing term, and I went through that all through my childhood and young adulthood. I was tired of it.

I do know a guy who, when he married, took his wife's last name and hyphenated it with his own last name. I think that's pretty cool, but I wouldn't have wanted that for my own situation.

[pitohui]

22. i am just as important as any celebrity, but then i believe in equality

i don't understand why any woman would change her last name and the trend back to women taking their husband's name has tracked pretty much clearly with the fact that young women know at the end of the day they won't get the opportunities or earn the money their husband will earn

not keeping your own name, taking someone else's name, being the supporting staff instead of a real person in your one and only life


that is a very sad choice but, at the end of the day, most people's lives are pretty sad so it follows that most women's life are sad since they too are people

even though we will never, except as lip service, TRULY be considered equal to men

my name is apparently not so good as my husband's name because he was born w. that magic piece of floppy between his legs?

you keep your own last name because you have some liking for yourself and your past history, to throw away your very name is a statement of how much (how little) you have for yourself, your family, and your past

i've heard women say "well my last name is funny, my last name is hard to spell, my parents were shitheads" as reasons for changing their name, i've never heard a POSITIVE reason for changing one's name

you change your name because you're unhappy with who you were and you want to become someone else

and the ever popular you think you can hide from stalkers, debts, and taxes is up there too, i guess, as a good reason for changing one's name

[geardaddy]

23. Rupert's wife is Chinese

In my experience, mainland Chinese women keep their birth names.

[NewJeffCT]

88. +1

I didn't see your post until after I posted the same below.

[Book Lover]

26. Because they like their current last name

Because they don't want the hassle of the paperwork (see my post above)

Because they don't want their public identity merged with a particular family

Because the new name is not euphonious either alone or combined with their first name

Just of the top of my head...

[dana_b]

29. good ones

I like my last name better than my ex's last name. Also my daughter had my last name (not her biological father's) so if I had changed mine, she would have had no last name connection to her parents.

[MountainLaurel]

28. You're kidding right?

You have no idea why a woman might not want to suddenly lose the name she's had for 20-40 years?

:wtf:

[mulsh]

30. My wife is fairly well known in a couple of fields, shekept her

last name when we got married. Last names weren't even an issue with us. However all of her female relatives and most of mine, except my mom, were appalled that "a married woman wouldn't take her husband's last name" Many of these women have been through multiple marriages. Many name changes on their part.

I have a very unusual last name. Her last name is as unusual as my last name.
My mother didn't have any problem however she pointed out that our last name is usually a conversation starter. To which my wife replied "so's mine".

[NightWatcher]

34. same here. my wife's a very well respected professional in her field and to change her name

would be kinda silly and make it harder for people who needed her to find her. She still gets calls from others in her field who are seeking her input on an issue or help with a problem. We didnt even talk about it for five minutes when we got married. It was the logical thing to do.

[LiberalEsto]

32. I kept my name because I'm a feminist

Why should I have to change my name?
New Jersey law, based on English common law, stated that you could use any name you wanted, as long as it was not for purposes of fraud. I looked it up back in the 1970s.

I did change it with my first husband, with extreme reluctance, and I was sorry I did. It was a huge pain to change it back when we split up.
My second husband was fine with me keeping my name.

[KamaAina]

33. For what reason would men keep theirs?

In NY State, it is legal for a husband to take his wife's last name. (This will also make things much easier for them now that they have entered the world of marriage equality. :bounce: ) So why do most married New York men keep their last name? :P

[Kaleva]

35. Why is it usually the man who drives?

When I meet a couple on the road, it's a rare event to see the woman driving.

[riderinthestorm]

38. Not in my household. I'm usually the one who drives. I'm the better driver. nt

[KamaAina]

44. Are you in Saudi Arabia or something?

:shrug:

[Kaleva]

45. That really doesn't refute my observation.

[Cannikin]

52. Worse. Arkansas.

[Cannikin]

54. dupe

\

[Kaleva]

55. I got yelled at by one lady for holding a door open for her.

She told me, amongst other things, that she was quite capable of opening a door by herself.

[Cannikin]

57. hahaha Yeah, it's a lose/lose here, so I take a chance and do the polite thing.

I open doors for just about everyone if I'm the first in.

[Kaleva]

59. Yes. I hold doors open for everyone. That lady just assumed I was some kind of sexist.

[kick-ass-bob]

78. Wow. Everyone I see holds doors for everyone else here.

Is this a southern thing?

I dunno.

[riderinthestorm]

81. Here too. Old people, young people, male, female - if you reach the door first, hold it open

for whoever is coming after.

I'm especially sensitive to people pushing strollers or wheelchairs. Sometimes it's hard to navigate the door AND the chair/stroller.

Nobody says a thing about it (and I'm in my 50 so I've had a LONG time to have encountered problems).

[sarge43]

107. Depends on whose car they're using.

If we're sharing, I drive mine; he drives his.

[riderinthestorm]

37. I'm a feminest. Why should I change my last name? (25 years married - NOT a business contract) nt

[catzies]

39. 'Cause it's easy and renders me virtually anonymous. Can't Google me, for starters.

Only downside is it makes genealogical searches tougher.

I've happily been a Smith for 49 years now and if I ever do get married I don't feel like changing my name so I probably won't.

I suppose I could hyphenate and be Smith-Burns.

On second thought it would look so British and I'm very Irish so that's out.

[REP]

40. I didn't stop being me when I got married; why should my name change?

Aside from that, no one can spell or pronounce my hyphenated Anglicized Welsh surname or his German one; changing mine would have been a fucking nightmare.

[rbnyc]

43. +1 (nt)

[rbnyc]

41. I kept mine becaue...

...that's my name. I was a performer and a published writer and I did invest a lot in my name, and I did talk about those things when I got married and chose to keep my name, but I don't really think those were the reasons. I got married because I love my husband, I wanted to celebrate our partnership and formalize our commitment. We had decided to have a child and we wanted our child's parents to be married. But changing my name to his never made sense to me. Taking his name didn't mean as much to me as keeping my own name. Also, his mother kept her name, so it's not even like taking his name aligns me with his family.

We hyphenated our son's name. We're a family of 3 with 3 last names.

[LaraMN]

46. I'm in the camp of going with whichever sounds better with your first name.

That's all the thought I really put into it. Hated my maiden name and was happy to change it to my easy-to-pronounce married name.

[Dulcinea]

68. Agreed.

I changed my name when I got married, but kept my birth name as a middle name. I hated the first & middle names my parents saddled me with, so I shortened my first name to something I could live with & bagged the (ugly!) middle name. It worked out.

[Odin2005]

47. Because this is the 21st century and wives are no longer considered property of their husbands.

[vard28]

48. Because

My maiden name is the same as my married name. I tell people that we are a modern couple and he took my last name. :P

[mythology]

49. I'm a single male but

my mom didn't change her name either time she got married. Now I can't blame her as neither my biological dad or my stepdad have easy to pronounce last names and for her it was a way of maintaining her own identity. On the other hand, I changed my name the day I turned 18 as my biological dad is a failure as a parent.

If I ever find somebody who has low enough standards to marry me, I'd never ask her to change her name to mine. I don't know if I would encourage her to not change her name to mine, but I tend to think that any woman who would be interested in marrying me is going to be more than capable of making up her own mind.

[lukasahero]

51. I'm sorry but what reasons would make one change their name?

I have my father's name as mine. I am the last of my last name in the US. Why would I change it?

BTW - let's be clear here - we're not talking about why "ONE" would want to keep their last name, we're talking about why a "WOMAN" would want to keep "HER" last name. Let's at least be honest here...

[Cannikin]

56. I appreciate the funny and informative replies!

I'm obviously behind the times on this particular subject! I blame it on my location, where sometimes I'm thanked for opening doors for a lady, and then sometimes they look at me as if I'm a chauvinist pig.

[NewJeffCT]

102. I live in a pretty blue state in Connecticut

but, I've never had a woman complain to me, or look at me funny, if I held the door open for them. I've had more than a few comment about how it's nice to see chivalry isn't dead, or something to that effect.

My wife also did not take my last name, but she's Chinese and Chinese women typically do not take their husband's last name.

And, I told my ex-wife I didn't care if she took my last name or not - it was her decision. She was originally going to take my last name because she didn't like her last name, but then decided to go the hyphenated route.

[csziggy]

58. I simply did not want to change my name

I was used to it and saw no point in taking a different name just because a different man was associated with me (hubby vs. Dad). In 1977 that was a radical thing to do, especially in the South and it was an uphill battle back then. I had hassles with the IRS, the Social Security Administration, my father, family members, professionals I was paying to do work for me, etc.

But I don't regret keeping my name. I would not have minded using my mother's name or one that had come down through a female line, but since that is not the tradition of our culture, I kept the name I had been given at birth and the one I was used to.

[LeftishBrit]

61. Because they prefer their own last name; or because they are professionals already known under that

name (you don't need to be a 'celebrity' for that); or because they are feminists and keep their own name as an indication that a wife does not belong to her husband. Or 'just because'.

There are many reasons and it *certainly* doesn't mean denigrating the marriage or seeing it as a business contract. One could just as well say that the custom of *men* keeping their own names means that they see their marriage just as a business contract! Not the case at all.

[CBGLuthier]

66. Business. if a woman were a realtor or other name recognition, client based profession

It is a silly old tradition.

I will say though that seeing Mr. Murdoch's wife.. Well, I can't think of anything polite to say about her. I just hope she is well compensated for sleeping with a prune.

[graywarrior]

69. I kept my last name

It's my name, why would I give it up. My husband doesn't give a rats ass one way or the other.

[PassingFair]

72. My husband didn't care either...funny story:

When we were newly weds, we ran into a mutual
friend who asked me "How is married life treating
you, Mrs. (insert my husband's last name here)?

I told her that I was still Ms. Fair, and she got
all huffy, and declared that she had changed her
last name because, and I quote, she "loved HER husband"!!

Awkward!

After we left, I asked my lovely husband if it bothered
him that we did not share a last name, and, buoyed up a
bit from the display of feminine demurring of our "friend"
told me that "...yes, it DID bother him a LITTLE..."

I told him that I hadn't been aware that it bothered him,
and that tomorrow morning we could go downtown and he could
change his name to "Fair"....

It has never been brought up again.

I did choose to have our children carry his last name though...
It felt like the right thing to do....

[graywarrior]

74. We walked about it before we got hitched

And since we lived together for 25 years before we got married, it was a non issue. What did surprise me was, one day after we were legally married, I introduced him as my husband to a co-worker. He told me that made him feel good.

[annonymous]

71. Credit reporting purposes

When I married my husband, he had recently gone through a bankruptcy. He has a common last name and my first name is very common so there was a possibility I could be mistaken for someone with a bad credit history. I chose to hyphenate my name to make it unique for credit reporting purposes.

[Scout]

75. why SHOULDN'T one keep their own last name?

i don't know of any good reasons to change it.

[sinkingfeeling]

77. Being the last of a family. I'm the youngest daughter of my dad's, who was the only

son and that makes me the last carrier of the family name.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

79. I was divorced twice.

I never legally changed my driver's license. i like my last name, it was my dad's name, and it's short and easy to spell. And I had a career for twenty years.

Besides, TWICE I woke up and realized I was "Mrs. Asshole"!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Now I am with Man #3, and his first wife, who has the same first name I do, let's say it's Susie, has kept his last name so if i changed mine there would be two Mrs. Susie Hubbynames, although in neighboring states.

Although Man #3 says her assholosity is in her maiden name, not his last name. :rofl:

[BlueIris]

80. Because I'm not a fucking piece of property. I have a life and identity other than my spouse's.

I really look down on people who cop to pressure to take the husband's last name--or the wife's for that matter. It's not 1822.

[saras]

82. To disavow the tradition of women giving up their names - that's enough reason

Any woman who already has a financial life before marriage, suspects they want a separate one during marriage, or suspects that they may want one if the marriage ends - all benefit from keeping their own name.

Some people just feel like their name has something to do with their identity, more so than a marriage does - especially if they don't expect a single lifetime marriage any more.

I'm sure other people have other reasons. It never seemed odd to me. When it first started, I thought it was an obvious improvement over the stupid, unexplainable tradition we had when I was born, of women giving up their names when they married.

[Recovered Repug]

83. I think there is a simple solution to this argument.

At the end of the ceremony, the couple should be given a new, randomly selected last name. Or, maybe toss out a handful of scrabble tiles and see what they can come up with.

[applegrove]

84. I know that rich people in England and some neighbourhoods in Canada would have

a hyphenated name if one family only had daughters but wanted the legacy of their name to carry on.

[LeftishBrit]

85. Yes, hyphenated names are quite common in England

Used to be very much the preserve of the upper classes (my favourite was a judge called Sir Roualeyn Hovell-Thurlow-Cumming-Bruce); but now also with parents who just want their children to have both parents' names.

Taking the surnames of both parents is the norm in Spain and in other Spanish-speaking countries.

[Tabasco_Dave]

86. I know a man who's last name was Dorkin.

When he got married he gladly changed it to his wifes last name.

[NewJeffCT]

87. His wife is Chinese - Chinese women, by tradition, do not change their last names

when they get married.

[Cairycat]

89. Because it's who I am

How would having my husband's name make me any more his wife? Many people insist on a woman having the same last name as her children, but how would I be any more my children's mother with a different name? How would having the same name make me love my husband and kids more, make us any more a family? It's love that makes a family, not everybody having the man's name.

[lunatica]

90. It's a custom that should end

People's last names are important. It shows what family you come from. Everyone should have both their parents' last names. They do that in Latin countries. The father's name is the first last name and the mothers is the last. That's why Latin's have such long names.

For example, my son and his father have the same first name, but you can tell the difference in two ways. One, their middle names are different, and two their last last names are different. Senior has his mother's last name at the end and my son has my last name at the end.

[DFW]

91. Here's one

To avoid having to spell out "Leuthäuser-Schnarrenberger" every time you need to fill out a form!

(Former German cabinet minister)

[Manifestor_of_Light]

92. I can tell you about two women who changed their names.

They were both Mrs. So and so, and changed their names when they were married.
They were teachers at my high school.

Mrs. Violet Lavender and Mrs. Olive Apple. I kid you not. :rofl:

[DFW]

97. Those names belong in some kind of special archive! n/t

[Gormy Cuss]

93. Funny, changing one's name at marriage screams "chattel" to me.

There is no rational reason why we cling onto the tradition of women changing their surnames at marriage while men are assumed to do nothing.

[Rabrrrrrr]

95. Because we aren't property that gets renamed when handed over to a new "owner",

I wouldn't give up my family name - why should someone else just because that's the stupid fucking "tradition"?

[Bucky]

96. I think about half of women who get married (to men) these days keep their birth name. It's normal.

It's the norm among my friends. I'll have to start asking them if their marriages are just business arrangements. I'm sure they'll appreciate the purely academic nature of this question.

[mzteris]

99. outdated tradition implying OWNERSHIP!

WTF would you change your name to the other person's? Aren't you YOU anymore? Why do you have to become someone ELSE?

Bullshit tradition.

[Lex]

100. True.

The OP's implication that it can't be true love unless the woman gives up part of her identification--her name--is amazing.

[frogmarch]

101. You've got to be kidding.

A woman NOT keeping her birth name when she marries implies that she is owned by her husband. In August my husband and I will have been married 46 years, with neither of us owning the other or giving up our birth names.

[OhioBlue]

103. because that's my name. that is who I am.

The thought of changing my name seems so odd to me. I don't understand at all why that is the normal except for women wanting to have the same last names as their children.. I do get that.

[trackfan]

104. Except for tradition, and the convenience of conformity, why would one chage one's name?

I certainly wouldn't change my name.


http://martinigod.com/blog.htm

[Curmudgeoness]

105. I went to school with a girl with the last name Fink.

Hell, I would have married at 14 to get rid of that name.

[sarge43]

106. The paper work

I married at 39. I had a well established identity of my own. Changing my name, starting with the fed, would have been complicated and time consuming. Further, on principle, I got married; I didn't become my husband's property.

Finally, marriage is, among many other things, a contract. Legal obligations and privileges are incurred, else divorce would be as legally simple as getting married.