I sent my 14 year old off to DC to work in a soup kitchen and food bank for a week. Hold my hand!

[davsand]

My 14 year old left today on a mission trip to volunteer in DC's soup kitchens and food banks. She left her make up and (amazingly) her cell phone here at home, and I gotta admit, this is one of our scariest separations ever! She's been away from home this long before, but always with family or good friends. I am delighted that she's getting the opportunity to go on this trip and have this experience, but the out of touch thing really has me nervous.

I celebrate what she's doing but I am completely on edge. This is my baby! I need somebody to hold my hand!

:scared:



Laura

[Bladian]

1. She probably should've taken her cell phone.

I understand she wants to avoid the distraction (unless you made her :P ) but she should probably have it regardless. Eh well. Anyway, she'll be fine! Just wait till she goes to college :P

[davsand]

2. It was "strongly" suggested by the organizers that no cell phones were to go along.

I realize that they are a distraction, and I realize they also represent a liability, but they sure are a security blanket for moms with anxiety about a kid being away from home and in unfamiliar turf.

As for college, she has already announced that she wants to go to college someplace AWAY from home. I am ok with that, really. I remember too well how I felt at that age. I also remember how much smarter I thought my parents were within about 6 months or leaving home...



Laura

[Dystopian]

3. Reaching out to you....

davsand...:hug:
Your daughter is a gift to humanity ....
Breathe.
No fear.

Celebrate the goodness...the love.
Our babies grow up...she's on a path.

I'm happy for you...
She's an extension of you..reaching out to others in need.

She'll be fine..


peace~

[davsand]

8. How nice of you to refer to her as a "gift." I've always done the same.

I know it sounds kinda goofy to some people, but I have always seen my child as a gift, and I have always spoken of her in those terms.

Yes, she is a kid, and yes, we are in the throes of the whole "mom-daughter separation/screaming match/tug-of-war" thing that EVERY mom and daughter have fought for the history of women, but she still remains one of the most admirable people I know.

Truly, she is golden in my eyes. She was my gift, my child, and always will be...


...unless I go stark raving mad in the next few days, anyway.





Laura

[bluesbassman]

4. What a great experience for her.

Hang in there Laura, she'll do fine. :hug:

[davsand]

6. I do think she'll do fine. She is a pretty grounded kid, I think.

I am proud of her beyond my ability to express. I have total faith she'll sail through this.

Me, on the other hand, I'm biting my nails.




LOL. My kid has more spine than I do, I guess...



Laura

[Forkboy]

5. While I'm sorry for your anxiety, I'm thrilled to hear about this.

and I wish more kids had the chance to do this. There is no better lesson for someone to learn than empathy. :)

[davsand]

7. Without a doubt, I am delighted at the opportunity for her.

Frankly, I have always kind of thought that as a nation we have failed our teens by not encouraging programs like this. I know there are other nations that require a period of national service, and if I'm being dead honest I think we should consider it here in the US on some level--even if it is only a donated day a year for us all...



Laura

[Forkboy]

9. I've spoken to some people about the idea of national service for the poor.

Like you say, even if it's just a day. I'd support that in a heartbeat. :)

[marzipanni]

10. When I was that age in the '60s my friend Laurie and I joined a group

going into a poor area of the nearby city for the day to help old people clean up their yards, remove trash that had accumulated in empty lots, paint and stuff.
When we got there, at the intro session, we glanced at each other and tried not to giggle when one of the leaders told us to put all the trash into the Dempster dumpster. We has never heard of a dumpster, let alone one with a first and last name.
The old people were very appreciative.

Our good radio station, KGO in San Francisco, does a yearly fundraiser for several local soup kitchens in the S.F. Bay Area and usually some of the talk-show hosts take their kids to work there on holidays. On Thanksgiving they broadcast from one and walk around and talk to the people and ask about how they happened to be there. Someone always says there are so many more families each year. :(

Is your daughter with a group of people she knows from school or church?

[davsand]

15. This was organized by the local church.

We live in a VERY small town (two taverns, a beauty shop, a tire shop and one church...) this trip was organized by the local church and she is with kids and adults she knows. While we have not been exactly "regulars" at this church she has always had a warm welcome there, and when an opening came for this trip they called her and asked if she'd like to go. My daughter was interested in going, and even if I was kind of hazy on the details to begin with, I figured she'd be safe, so why not let her go? We literally had about a 48 hour window to get her ready--including a physical and a Tetanus shot. She needed both to start high school anyway, so even that was no hardship except pulling strings to get her in to see the doctor on short notice...

We see the impact of extreme need here locally, and in many ways I think my daughter is probably in a better mental place to do this than many kids her age might be. I worked non-profits for quite a while after she was born--until I took office, in fact--and her father has worked in the same non-profit for over 25 years. Our kid has gone to work with us whenever she could, and has actually chosen to volunteer for a health care access/community organizing non-profit for the past few summers. I joke that she never has known any different, but literally, she has grown up in the trenches with us. Bulk mail really IS a game the whole family can play!

I am very happy for her to get the opportunity to go and do something like this, I think it will be something she'll never forget. This is entirely mommy anxiety--probably the first of much to come as she gets older and more independent.



Laura

[Chan790]

11. Awesome, we can use the help.

We've had two mayors in a row who took the enlightened position that homeless people will be motivated to become productive members of society if you just close the shelters. It doesn't help that that areas they put the shelters in 20 years ago to lure the homeless population away from downtown are now wealthy gentrified neighborhoods like Mount Pleasant, Tenleytown and Columbia Heights, those residents don't care where the homeless go as long as they're not in their neighborhoods either. You'd never know DC is 97& registered Democrats, some of our Dems are as conservative as a Kansas preacher.

I hope she get's to go to Martha's Table, that's the one that more shelters should be like. The shelter and food kitchen is funded by the donation-goods shop they run next-door and the store employs the residents; thus teaching them skills, keeping them off the streets and giving them job references and a roof while they get back to their feet. That sort of systemic approach works and it's less dependent on the vagaries of federal and district funding or the ebb-flow of cash donations.

Also, she'll be fine. DC is about the safest place I've ever lived. You can't swing an arm without finding one of the 26 law-enforcement agencies that call DC home.

[davsand]

16. I don't know what programs they will be working with.

If I had to guess, I'd think they might be faith based due to the fact the program is UMC and ELCA co-hosted.

Thank you for your words of comfort regarding safety in DC. While I feel ok about the adults that are the chaperones, it is nice to hear that you feel safe in the city where my kid is staying!



Laura

[av8rdave]

12. You raised one amazing child!

[davsand]

17. She is not fully raised yet, but I'm proud of her as she stands.

She's got her head pretty well nailed on and she shows signs of being a spectacular woman with the brains and inner beauty to match her exterior. I am so very proud of her. She has ruled our hearts since conception and I doubt that could ever cease.



Laura

[handmade34]

13. awesome

consider your hand held... all mine went somewhere about that made me nervous; Mexico to build roads, DC to serve Thanksgiving dinner, in the back woods to learn survival skills...

you should be very proud

[davsand]

18. The world became really scary when she started to walk. Hasn't changed much over the years.

I sometimes see her sleeping and I still see that baby that I nursed. Some days I hear her being a teen and I hear that same baby screaming too--so not much changes, I guess. I tell myself that if I do my job right as a parent I will have rendered myself obsolete, but I still worry about her and I'd be lying like a rug if I claimed any different. How did you maintain sanity when they left the nest?



Laura

[handmade34]

20. you are right

we do our job... none of it is easy... mine are 40, 36, 27, 26 and 21 and I still worry and miss them terribly... they didn't leave the nest, I did and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do (job)


4 yrs ago, minus the oldest

[davsand]

21. That looks like a very happy day and a lovely family.

They look like they are a tight knit crew too. Good for you--you did it right! Parenthood is no job for the faint hearted, I agree. I'm thinking there are parents out there that are made of tougher stuff than anyone realizes.



Laura

[rbnyc]

14. Wow.

You are a great parent and I know how hard it is.

I will hold your hand.

Please keep us posted.

[davsand]

19. Last word I had was tonight when she called and said they had arrived in DC.

She borrowed a cell phone from one of the adults. I also was told not to expect any more updates for a few days because they are gonna be "awful busy." I had to smile at that.

NOW the real wait begins...

As for you, dear, I remember full well some of your posts about your son, and I take it as a great compliment that you would consider me a good parent.


:hug:



Laura

[rbnyc]

24. awww...

...thanks so much. It's always great to bump into you here.

[freshwest]

22. Oh gosh, no cellpnone? Are you in touch with the rest of the group? Wow. I'm sure shes okay, though.

Just keep on remembering what a smart and wise young lady she is and that she'll be among some of the best hearted people in the world. Congratulations on giving the world another kind spirit.

[AverageJoe90]

23. Kudos to the both of you guys, man. =)

What else can I say?

[ceile]

25. Good for her! And you!

This will something she keeps with her forever. Be proud. Don't worry- if there's an emergency we still have those things called "land lines." ;-)

[TygrBright]

26. Relax, davsand... the whole "Scary DC" thang is so 1990s.

It's actually quite safe and full of lovely people. She will have an amazing experience. The church folks are doubtless connected with church folks in DC and the church folks in DC are pretty good people. They will appreciate your daughter and the other young people.

And the good ripples will keep spreading out, in her life and many others'.

reassuringly,
Bright