CNN BREAKING: Chicago reports danger all about; during which former black private dick cops out

[Amerigo Vespucci]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XohdunuASNI/TKGo7yaudPI/AAAAAAAAAio/l2rnam6jP-U/s1600/SHAFT+Richard+Roundtree.jpg

CNN Chicago - Local law enforcement officials have declared a full state of lockdown as the result of a "turf war" among local drug dealers. Police Chief Atticus Finch told CNN reporters that "In the past, we've called on former private detective John Shaft for inside information and assistance. No one knows these streets like Shaft, even if he is semi-retired."

When Chicago Police Officers showed up at Shaft's downtown office, they were greeted by a sign on the door which read "Gone Fishin'...back on Monday."

Chief Finch remarked "I understand every man needs some time off, especially when he's in a dangerous line of work like law enforcement. But this was just, I don't know...this was just a case of a guy we used to depend on copping out. He's a complicated man, but he copped out."

Soul legend Isaac Hayes could not be reached for comment.

MORE: Shaft Cops Out

[Demoiselle]

1. Hmmm. Formerly black? formerly private? Or a former dick?

Ah memories.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

2. I saw that one in a MOVIE THEATER in Peabody, Massachusetts.

Granted, for people who didn't grow up in Massachusetts as I did (especially out in the woods, in a small town), going to a movie theater is no big deal.

For me, at the time, it was a big deal.

And that immortal soundtrack is obviously meant to be heard over big, booming movie house speakers.

:toast: