Divorce blows

[av8rdave]

That is all.

[rbnyc]

1. I've heard that.

Sorry.

[bluesbassman]

2. Sorry man.

Keep busy is the best advice I can give. :pals:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. That it does.

Been there, done that. Sucks AND blows.

Sorry.

[av8rdave]

4. Thanks...

[freshwest]

5. Yes it does. Like Joni Mitchell's 'Big Yellow Taxi.'

[madrchsod]

6. yes and no....

been there, done that, and it does get a whole lot better.

[av8rdave]

7. Point well taken

Fortunately, the legal aspects should be fairly straightforward.

Thanks for the encouraging words!

[struggle4progress]

8. Diamonds and Rust

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGMHSbcd_qI

[struggle4progress]

9. Don't think twice, it's all right

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q95Ba4znoVQ

[u4ic]

10. .

:hug:

[kimi]

11. Yep

Too damn many of us know this. On top of the emotional upheaval there is all the legal BS. I am sorry. Take care.

[av8rdave]

12. Thanks!

[RedCloud]

13. The tough part is setting out again, but experiencia docet!

[Lucinda]

14. I'm sorry. In my case it was just the opposite.

We are both much happier now.

I have had a couple of painful breakups though, It will get better.

[SOteric]

15. Splitting up a relationship in any way shape or form blows.

My sincere condolences, and a big ol' hug from a fellow traveler also using duct tape to hold together her heart, her self-esteem and miscellaneous bits of her sanity.

[Raffi Ella]

16. It's good that you feel it though.

The ending of something that was once good is sad and hard. The fact that you are hurting means that it was worthwhile at one point, that it wasn't a waste of time. It's just not good any more and that is certainly something to grieve.

You will get this through this and feel good again, I promise. Be good to yourself in the interim.

[seabeyond]

18. that is a very healthy perspective.

creative thinking, i like.

[Raffi Ella]

23. :)

easier said than to go through I know but still. That old saying there can be no joy without pain and it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all - big picture thinking at those times helped me so, yeah.

[seabeyond]

25. i think so

i am very much into the taking care of self, within. i think this would be very helpful. i know i feel the same. if hubby came to me to walk out, a thanks for the 17 yrs of good. that good doesnt go away because of this time of bad. i couldnt imagine ignoring or forgetting 17 yrs feeling good.

[riderinthestorm]

33. This is an excellent post with great advice. You are an enlightened soul. nt

[mysuzuki2]

17. on the other hand

there is the distinct possibility that your sex life will improve markedly.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

19. My dear av8rdave...

Oh, no. I am so sorry.

Be good to yourself, OK?

:hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. ?

sorry to hear this.

[gratuitous]

21. Why is divorce so expensive?

BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!

/Comic relief

[dawg]

22. My condolences.

It has been pretty soul-crushing for me. But it's a big world out there, and there are thousands of wonderful things that could happen to you, romantic and otherwise.

There are no guarantees, but there are countless possibilities.

It will get better. (Or, that's what they keep telling me, anyway.) :)

[Taverner]

24. Yes it does.

Even amicable ones

Of course, the lawyers trying to turn an amicable divorce into a cash cow doesn't help

[AtomicKitten]

26. Yes it can, but it also can be a new beginning.

I guess it just depends on how you look at it.

[lunatica]

27. yeah, but not getting one blows more

It was well worth the pain of going through it. I've had 16 very happy single years since.

[Moondog]

28. Amen to that . . . . n/t

[liberaltrucker]

29. Tell me about it!

Been through it TWICE.

Hope you're OK

:hi:

[av8rdave]

30. Thanks...this isn't my first rodeo either....

Though they both lasted quite a while, and the second longer than the first. Guess if I ever did it again (unlikely), #3 should last until they put me in the ground - or flush my ashes.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

31. Sorry about that.

A divorce can literally ruin you financially and physically. My ex hubby very nearly nagged me to death. I got pneumonia and my doc had to vacuum my lungs out four times in six years so I wouldn't drown in my own pus-filled lungs. And this was infections from non-pathogenic bacteria, normal bacteria that people have. That's how destroyed my immune system was from four years of marriage to this guy.

He also spent many thousands going after me in the divorce, and I had to pay him child support. He went after my elderly parents legally, and tried to get my father's law license suspended. While doing this, my parents had to use the trust fund money they had set up for our child (their only grandchild) to defend themselves against my ex. He was specifically told by my parents' lawyer that he was destroying his child's college fund, and did it anyway. He ended up paying for every cent of her college education.

Oh and he got custody and I had to pay him child support. Equal rights, community property in Texas from Spanish law and all that.

He didn't love me, or respect me. He was a gold digger. I have no idea how much his divorce lawyer cost him, not to mention all my hospitalizations and illnesses when he was trying to nag me to death.

Oh well.
And I never said an unkind word to this guy. He hated me for having a beautiful daughter. I wonder how he would have treated me if I had been mean to him?


:wtf: fucking sociopath.

[av8rdave]

32. So sorry to hear....what a horror story

Fortunately, no kids involved here, so simple property division case.

[Digit]

35. That sounds like my divorce experience

Except he did not win custody. He would have though if I had fought because at the time, custody went to the breadwinner. I stopped at temporary custody which I had and left it at that. Four hundred dollars a month child support when he was bringing in close to 6 figures with no other children.
I would have lost my house if it had gone on any longer. He used the courts to harass me and they allowed it to go on.

Never remarried....never want to be in that predicament again.

I am stopping here....don't want to think of the past.

I am sorry for what you went through....for what anyone goes through.

My ex is definitely a sociopath. He is in a bad way these days with his health.
Karma is a bitch and his daughter hates him and it is not from me poisoning her mind.
That would have been the last thing she needed on top of how he treated her himself.

[RushIsRot]

34. Been there. Done that. Twice. She got the t-shirt both times.

[Philippine expat]

36. Not for long n/t