Last weekend was tough. While burying my dad at sea, 3000 miles away my 14 year old cat died in my

[Flaxbee]

husband's arms.

My dad's ceremony was nice - family was there - just his daughters. I was only on the west coast for a day, and that was the day my sweet kitty Clarisse, whom I adopted over 12 years ago, died. I knew she wasn't doing well - she was at least 14 (the shelter said she was at least 2 when I adopted her) but I didn't expect her to go so fast. At least she was with my husband (whom she loved) when she died, but it was really rough on him and I HATED not being there for her. She was my bachelorette girlfriend, greeting me every night when I got home late late late from work in NYC. She'd wait by the door for me when I got home, standing up on her hind legs batting at the doorknob as I unlocked the door. She wasn't cuddly at all - but very interactive, and she absolutely adored by husband. She was one of the reasons I decided to marry him - she never ever sat on my lap, or anyone else's, but the first time he came over to my place, she curled up in his lap and went to sleep. At that point, I knew he was a good guy. I have Clarisse to thank for that.


But when we were placing my dad's ashes in the ocean, we saw what the guide said was a blue whale - just the spout and a bit of the whale's body as s/he surfaced for air. But - a glimpse of the largest mammal on earth - was a nice way to say goodbye to my dad. My father died last December, but he wanted to be buried at sea on his birthday, so that's what we did. I had dealt with his loss months ago, and the ceremony at sea would have made him happy, he loved the ocean and it was a beautiful day out on the water.

[madinmaryland]

1. I'm sorry to hear about your losses. It's nice that you were able to fulfill your Dad's

last wishes and scatter his ashes in the ocean.

:hug:

[Flaxbee]

3. thanks, mad

:hug:

The burial ceremony was fine - all of my sisters were there, and it felt happy rather than sad.

I just wasn't prepared to have a day of emotional overload, and I miss my kitty.

:cry:

[Curmudgeoness]

2. Oh, I am so sorry. That really sucks.

RIP to your father and to Clarisse. Sometimes, life just isn't fair. :hug:

[Flaxbee]

8. It was just an emotional day - a bit of an overload

that I wasn't prepared for.

It's OK now. Just a tough accumulation of events in one day. Thanks, Curmudgeoness :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. I'm so sorry. What a difficult time for you! *hugest of hugs*

[Flaxbee]

10. thank you, GreenPartyVoter

:hug: back. I appreciate it.

[Arugula Latte]

5. Aww, I'm so sorry.

I think all women should do a cat test before marrying a man. If you find a man who hates cats, and vice versa, RUN!!!

[Flaxbee]

11. thanks. I agree about the cat test

If a man doesn't like cats, well, he's certainly not fit for marriage or boyfriend material, very questionable friend material.

:hi:

[applegrove]

6. Wow. A blue whale! Seems like a sign. So sorry for your loss.

[Flaxbee]

12. supposed to symbolize healing and peace

appropriate send-off for my dad.

thanks, applegrove

[snagglepuss]

7. What a rough week. I'm so sorry for your losses:(

[Flaxbee]

13. thanks, snagglepuss. Time has passed, and it's easier.

But not entirely.

[Forkboy]

9. I've often felt that Fate should be penalized for "piling on".

Sorry you've had such a hard week, but there's something beautiful about that whale appearing at that moment. Seems poetic.

[Flaxbee]

14. I agree, but then again, sometimes it's easier if you can go through

it all at once - like ripping off a bandaid fast, or something.

I agree about the whale. A good send-off. My dad was a difficult man, but none of us ever doubted that he loved us all dearly.

[RedCloud]

15. We all came from the sea many moons ago, Returning now seems appropriate.

I have found my way to go. Thank you and sorry to hear about your losses.

[Flaxbee]

16. thanks, RedCloud

It felt right. Better than digging a hole and throwing dirt on him. And my god, it was a beautiful day; I like to think he would have appreciated it.

[u4ic]

17. Sorry for your losses

but what a marvel to see a blue whale. In a way, it was a last 'gift' from your father. :hug:

[Flaxbee]

21. it seemed like a good send-off

and my dad, who loved the ocean, would have been really excited to see a blue whale. Maybe he did.

[one_voice]

18. Flaxbee...

I'm sorry for the loss of both your dad and your kitty. I hope seeing the blue whale brought you some comfort while "letting your dad go".

Not being home for your dear Clarisse must have been heart wrenching. I'm so sorry. It seems poetic that your husband was there with her, given that he adored her and she gave her seal of approval--so to speak. I hope it eases your pain some to know that she was with someone that loved her in the end and not alone.

:hug:

[Flaxbee]

24. it was a good ceremony for my dad, and if Clarisse had to go

so suddenly, I'm glad it was with my husband holding her. Though it was really hard on him; she had seizures and cried out and it just tore him apart. My sister is a vet; she said once the first seizure hit Clarisse was gone but the trauma of dying took a few minutes. My poor husband. Poor sweet Claire-cat.

[GoCubsGo]

19. I'm so sorry.

Big hug. It's really cool that you got to see the blue whale. Few people ever get to see one.

[Flaxbee]

26. thanks, GoCubsGo

It was really pretty incredible - we didn't get to see much of the whale because assholes with speedboats kept trying to get close and the whale just said "outta here" - but the spout and a bit of his/her head was enough. It also just felt mystical, considering the day's events.

[Gormy Cuss]

20. IMHO the blue whale was a gift to your family.

There's something utterly magnificent about seeing whales, whether from shore or on a boat. On such a special occasion that whale will be what you recall in years to come.

I'm sorry that Clarisse had to depart while you were gone.

[Flaxbee]

27. Blue whales supposedly represent peace and healing. Very

appropriate. It wasn't a sad event - he died last December and much of the toughest grief was gone. It was actually sort of a happy family event, and the whale was so symbolic. I know they don't know if blue whales have a minimum viable population to survive long-term, so seeing her was even more meaningful.

[Kali]

22. sounds like a nice send-off for your Dad

and kitty was with somebody she trusted, but I sure understand the emotional overload

[Flaxbee]

28. yeah, it was a good goodbye

and Clarisse wasn't alone. I wish I could have been there, though, to say goodbye to her.

[gristy]

23. Sorry about your dad, and sorry about your fresh grief over the loss of your cat

My cat died 2 years ago and as I said to a friend last week, I still miss her every day. We loved each other without reserve. She too would come to the door every day when I came home and I'd scoop her up and give her a big kiss.

[Flaxbee]

29. thanks, gristy

I miss those days when she would wait for me; she stopped doing that when we moved out of NYC and she could wander in the backyard of the home we moved to ... I have some good photos of her that I'll post sometime.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

25. sorry you couldn't be there for your Clarisse --

sounds like she wanted to keep your dad company, right? :hug:

[Flaxbee]

30. yeah. And the interesting thing, she died on the same date (the 16th)

as our other beloved cat, Tommy who died several years ago.

It was OK having all that emotion in one day; the next day I could relax. Sounds weird, but there it is.

:hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

31. no, I understand -- peaceful --like it was meant to be

a sign, destiny, fate...something like that. glad that you understand and that you are OK with it all. :hug: