PASSOVER: What should I expect?

[neoteric lefty]

Tomorrow, I will be going with my girlfriend to her parents house for passover. She is Jewish (of course) but I am not and I have never experienced passover before. It will be her family and at least 25 other people and from what she has been telling me, they are all looking forward to meet me. I have no idea what goes on at passover and for some reason, when I try to ask her whats going to happened at dinner, she just brushes it off with a "Don't worry, it'll be fine." I am not really nervous, I am just a little in the dark. All I know is that I am going to be wearing a yamica(sp?) and reading something. Can anyone shine the light on my impending embarrassment? :)

[Taylor Mason Powell]

1. reading and eating.

Passover is one of my favorite holidays, and it also happens to be one of the most non-Jew friendly, IMO. It depends on the level of religiosity of your gf's fam, I guess... but no reason to worry. The way we always did it in my house was, everybody would take turns reading a paragraph from the Hagaddah (in English), and at various points there'd be food. And wine.

Let me know how it goes! I'm taking my boyfriend to his first Seder tomorrow too...

[neoteric lefty]

4. Yeah,

I'm sure I will get a paragraph with some nice Hebrew names that I have absolutely zero chance of pronouncing correctly. Oh well, at least I get some good Jewish food.

[DIKB]

2. Hebrew is throaty

almost like a germanic language. If you do any readings, you need to work on it a little, hopefully it'll be spelt phonetically, and won't be written in Hebrew. Otherwise there's no hope for you.

[kodi]

3. tell them you can hold off on the dinner but can't wait for the bris.

you will endear yourself to your girlfriend's parents immensely.

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. Ok will clue you in

The Ten Commandments, as awful as taht movie is at times... that ist he story of the Exodus from Egypt.

What you will be doing is reading the story, (hopefully for your sake they will do this in English), and food will be consumed throughtout the dinner.

It is also a very social occasion

Now here is what you say....

Jag Sameach, which translates to Happy Holidays... roughtly.

the other thing is that I will presume for a second and assume you are any flavor of Christian... (Slap me now if I am wrong) the Prayer over the wine, and the bread is the same one that they refer to in the New Testament at the dinner at the Garden of Getsemane, which was a Passover Seder

The bread that you will be eating tomorrow is flat bread and unleavened (and if your stomach is like mine... you will feel it, but it is very good with the traditiional dishes), Some of teh traditional dishes, such as the Harozet, made out of wine, apples, and nuts (there are other recipees, depending on tradition could even include figs) is great, but watch out, it has wine.

Relax, enjoy have a good time, and this is truly a celebration of freedom going back oh... at least oh five thousand years...

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. It's a yamulka, and you'll be reading from a Haggadah

there's also the bit about dripping some of your blood into the oldest woman's matzah soup, and some other stuff, but I don't want to get you nervous.

Seriously, though, yes - you will read from the Haggadah. There's probably one on-line, and there are many many versions, but throughout the evening meal you will eat, and there will be some ritual acts while eating: the breaking of the matzah, the finding of the matzah by the children, the asking of the question by the youngest person present "What is so special about tonight?", a retelling of the story of the Exodus but with the use of the pronoun "we" instead of "them" - that is, "When WE escaped from bondage". There will also be a door left ajar so that Elijah can come in, and a glass of wine set aside for him. You will also drip wine occasionally from your cup into a plate, there will likely be singing.

Hopefully, there will be Hebrew so you can hear it, but that depends on how serious your girlfriend's family are about their heritage.

It's a very moving and powerful experience (at least for me, who as a Christian never experienced one until I was in my late 20s and was invited by the Jewish family a friend of mine was nanny for). The kids are involved deeply, the elders are involved, and everyone gets to speak and have fun with it.

And you will eat A LOT! Like, really, A LOT. And have a lot of fun, good humor, laughing, and just plain old a good time.

Just don't ask for anything pork, and don't ask for cheese or milk or anything dairy (since meat will be served).

Also, to really impress the family, look up the prayer that starts "Baruch attach Adonai eloheynu" and memorize it! That will really impress them if you can say it. Really, really, really impress them.

p.s. - you'll also be drinking a lot of wine, and it will likely be sweet Maneschewitz wine which goes down very smoothly and, um, sneakily.

[asthmaticeog]

7. Memorize this phrase:

"It would have been enough for us."

Be prepared also to parse a ridiculously scholastic breakdown of how many plagues there were.

Snarking aside, I can't wait for seder tomorrow - Pesach's my fave holiday, hands down. I hope you enjoy it. Post if you do!

[aquart]

14. You're trying to freak him out.

Ten crappy plagues. Many of which will seem horribly, currently, familiar.

[asthmaticeog]

19. I'm NOT trying to freak him out!

I was referring to that one page in the Haggadah where various interpretations are applied to "demonstrate" that the ten plagues were in fact 200 or 250 plagues. It's so totally pointless, it always cracks me up.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

8. I was in your shoes once upon a time

The relationship didn't last but that night was very memorable. It's very special and the food was excellent. You will learn alot about the Jewish people. Sorry I can't remember specifics. Just enjoy the experience.

[neoteric lefty]

9. Thanks guys,

I'll let you all know how it goes on tuesday or wednesday. Maybe I can get some pics online of myself in a yarmulka. We are takign another couple (girl is jewish and guy is not) so at least I won't be alone. Thanks for the advice as well. I'll see if I can memorize something to impress the folks.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. Yamulka goes on the head, not the butt

Normally I wouldn't feel the need to correct, but since it's your girlfriend's family and you want to impress them, and tensions are already high because of The Passion, it's important you DON'T put it on your butt.

[neoteric lefty]

11. i know

it was a just a saying. But that would be a funny picture. Maybe after a lot of Maneschewitz. :) I hope the Maneschewitz wine they have is better than the stuff I have tried before. Did not go down too well.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. I knew you knew - I forgot to put the smilie there

Maneschewitz, to me, gets very cloying and obnoxious after a while because of its excessive sweetness; but on the other hand, it IS easy to drink...

[aquart]

13. You can't memorize.

You don't know what Haggadah they'll be reading.

For years my family used one written by my Mom and my uncle that removed all mention of God. Swear to God. I'm the one who finally revolted and made them put it back in.

[aquart]

12. How's your tolerance for wine?

Because the way the ceremony is structured, you will have alcohol hitting your system before you ever see food.

I just mention it.

You read from a script. The tradition encourages having a stranger at the table so you won't be frozen out, you'll be brought in.

[neoteric lefty]

17. I have a high tolerance for alcohol

but not a huge wine fan (tell my italian family that and they would disown me). The Maneschewitz I had before wasn't of the highest grade but I certainly did not care for it.

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. LOL!

The Maneschewitz I had before wasn't of the highest grade

There is no high grade Maneschewitz. :-)

[neoteric lefty]

20. I don't know that much about Kosher wines

it was bought at Albertson's so I wasn't expecting much. It Maneschewitz just used for religious and special occasions or do people actually drink it normally?

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. You know, I don't know

Wouldn't surprise if some people drank it normally - some people drink Paul Masson wines and Mr. Boston scotch and Popov vodka and drink really sweeet disgusting (but hip and trendy) cocktails. One never can account for taste.

I'd think there wouldn't be many who drink Man. on a normal basis, but then all the Jews I've worked with and known and hung out with are all highly paid professional and educated people, who didn't drink it.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

21. You took the words right out of my mouth

Maneschewitz is the "Boone's Farm" of Kosher wines.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Here's a couple online haggadahs that will help

This one you have to keep clicking to get to the next sections, but also contains a lot of helpful info:

http://www.chabad.org/holidays/passover/pesach.asp?AID=1735

This one is a pdf file (about 700K) of a whole haggadah so you can read straight through without any clicking obnoxiousness

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~bparnes/HAGGADAH/seder.pdf

But remember, there are many, many, many versions of the haggadah - all similar in structure, but can be quite different in wording and style and inclusion of Hebrew.