rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:33 AM
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I'm not really seeking medical advice, but how do I get a live lobster out of my ass? |
LynneSin
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:40 AM
Response to Original message |
1. How about sitting on a pile of chum? |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:42 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. I have close friends but not that close. |
Orrex
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Wed Sep-07-11 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
56. It is to the eternal shame of Teh Lounge that your post wasn't recognized before this. |
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Edited on Wed Sep-07-11 08:31 PM by Orrex
Well played, sir. Well played.
:patriot:
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LaurenG
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:47 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
5. You mean the middle of he highway in Seattle? |
MiddleFingerMom
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:44 AM
Response to Original message |
3. Just open your thermi-door. n/t |
raccoon
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:45 AM
Response to Original message |
4. Got some needle nose pliers? nt |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. Will I need a bib first? |
suninvited
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Wed Sep-07-11 10:53 AM
Response to Original message |
7. you could threaten to plunge your ass into a pot of boiling water |
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I think that would be effective.
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raccoon
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Wed Sep-07-11 11:00 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
8. Ding, Ding, we have a winner! nt |
LynneSin
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Wed Sep-07-11 11:03 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
18. It's a crustacean. They ignore threats. |
mainegreen
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Wed Sep-07-11 11:32 AM
Response to Original message |
lillypaddle
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Wed Sep-07-11 11:37 AM
Response to Original message |
11. Are you sure it isn't a crab? |
MicaelS
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Wed Sep-07-11 11:55 AM
Response to Original message |
12. Chum usually works best for me... n/t |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
MicaelS
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
36. All that damn mule says is "hee-haw" ... |
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No matter what I do. :bounce:
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eShirl
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Wed Sep-07-11 11:58 AM
Response to Original message |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
20. Stop it! This is not a sex thread! |
ohiosmith
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:13 PM
Response to Original message |
14. Why would you want to? |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
21. I appreciate the question but this is not a time for philosophy. |
ohiosmith
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
28. I don't think that you have given due consideration to the advantages of your situation. |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #28 |
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:dilemma:
Ok, no advantage at all.
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kayakjohnny
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:18 PM
Response to Original message |
15. Just reverse the procedure that led to it's disturbing appearance in this most unfortunate location. |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #15 |
22. If I back into the lobster trap again, I don't think it will fall for it. |
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It appears quite comfortable.
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struggle4progress
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:22 PM
Response to Original message |
16. preventative medicine is an important part of any comprehensive health care package |
LynneSin
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
17. So healthcare now is giving out free Butt Plugs? |
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That's the only way to keep a live lobster from crawling up your ass
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struggle4progress
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
25. of course, medicine is an art as well as a science, since everyone is unique |
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And not being an MD, I should not pretend to speak authoritatively here
But health care dollars are limited, so one does not always want to spend much money on failsafe solutions to uncommon problems
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rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
23. This wouldn't have happened if we had single payer. |
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Or, at least, I would not have to look for free advice from the Lounge.
Melted butter enema, indeed.
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LynneSin
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
26. So you're saying it's all Obama's fault |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
29. Well, I didn't have a live lobster stuck up my ass before he was elected. |
struggle4progress
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Wed Sep-07-11 02:42 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
45. You should check out Ron Paul's proposal! LoungeCare® figures prominently in it |
Gidney N Cloyd
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:36 PM
Response to Original message |
24. Stupid lobster saw the butter sitting out and figured you just wanted to play "Last Tango in Paris"? |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
27. It's shelly, not horny. |
LynneSin
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
30. Someone was horny if they put a live lobster in their pants |
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Why else would they put one in there?
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rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
33. Oh, you're sayimg I was asking for it? |
LynneSin
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
38. So you're saying you were just randomly hanging around doing absolutely nothing |
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And a live lobster crawled up your ass.
Really?
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rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #38 |
39. Aas a matter of fact, I was bending down to feed a stray cat when I backed into a lobster trap. |
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Not wishing to startle the poor kitty, I ignored what was rapidly becoming an admixture of horror, humiliation and an unusual curiosity.
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krispos42
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:44 PM
Response to Original message |
31. The same way you put in in, I would guess? |
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Why did you put a live lobster in your donkey to begin with? What will you tell the ASPCA?
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rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:45 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
34. Who told you about the donkey? |
krispos42
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #34 |
37. The movie's been making the rounds. |
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The audience I had over last week had two suggestions. One was to use the tripod for the camera next time, and the other I can't post on DU.
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rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #37 |
krispos42
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Wed Sep-07-11 01:08 PM
Response to Reply #40 |
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The audience was overall very complimentary of you.
Plus, sold a shitload of popcorn.
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nickgutierrez
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Wed Sep-07-11 12:46 PM
Response to Original message |
Fire Walk With Me
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Wed Sep-07-11 01:07 PM
Response to Original message |
41. To beat a lobster, you have to think like a lobster. |
LynneSin
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Wed Sep-07-11 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #41 |
43. Interesting since a lobster has an unorganized mass of nerves they call a brain |
Tuesday Afternoon
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Wed Sep-07-11 01:47 PM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Wed Sep-07-11 01:48 PM by Tuesday Afternoon
:shrug:
:D
:yoiks:
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texanwitch
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Wed Sep-07-11 02:47 PM
Response to Original message |
46. Call Billy, he just rescued a kitten trapped in a wall, I am sure he can help you. |
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There doesn't seem anything Billy can't do.
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rrneck
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Wed Sep-07-11 02:58 PM
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dixiegrrrrl
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Wed Sep-07-11 04:21 PM
Response to Original message |
48. This thread is useless without pictures. |
rug
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Wed Sep-07-11 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #48 |
49. You should see the lobster. |
kentauros
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Wed Sep-07-11 04:40 PM
Response to Original message |
50. Scold your ass about eating live lobsters, Jack |
nolabear
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Wed Sep-07-11 04:57 PM
Response to Original message |
51. You're shittin' me, right? |
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That's what HE said.
:rofl:
Thanks. I needed a funny thread today.
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bluedigger
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Wed Sep-07-11 05:36 PM
Response to Original message |
52. You're on your own with that. |
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Just remember, anything over 5 inches, eye socket to end of carapace, you can keep. Under that, you should release. Your local regs may vary.:)
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dimbear
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Wed Sep-07-11 05:50 PM
Response to Original message |
53. Send in an octopus, bro. And watch more anime. n/t |
Lucian
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Wed Sep-07-11 06:05 PM
Response to Original message |
54. When you get the answer to that, I need to know how to get a Candiru out of my pee hole. |
Orrex
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Wed Sep-07-11 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #54 |
57. You need to attack the problem as if it were one of those "Chinese" finger puzzles |
mockmonkey
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Wed Sep-07-11 08:29 PM
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