Pre-Season Training camp now opening for the 'War on Christmas' - are you ready?

[LynneSin]

I mean we're almost in the last quarter of Christmas and we're opening up the Pre-Season camp today so all of you can get warmed up and prepared for the 2011 "War on Christmas" season. Who here is reporting to camp - some of you look like you let yourself go in the off season

:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

1. CHRISTMAS IS NOTHING BUT A RIGHT WING CORPORATE NAZI DOMINATION SCHEME!

Well, it might be some other things too, but you can only fit so much in a subject line.

[Chan790]

2. I'm in gameday shape, coach!

I've even been working on a new move for when people get on me for wishing them a "Happy Kwanzaa!". It goes something like this:

"Oh, all-right then, Merry Chris...FUCK OFF!"

You see, it's a misdirect. They think I'm going to wish them a "Merry Christmas" after they gave me crap for not wishing them a "Merry Christmas"...then I yell "fuck off!" in their face.

I've had great success with telling small kids that "Santa's imaginary...just like Jesus!" too.

Damn, it's hard to be an all-star.

[geardaddy]

3. I need to get in shape

are we going to do Happy Holidays wind sprints?

[LynneSin]

5. I warned you about letting yourself go in the off-season

We have rookies here at DU just itching to break it into the big leagues - the front line of the War on Christmas. Sure it helps to have our veterans around who have the gumption and experience to promote a Christmas Season without Christmas but we have over 100+ days and if you can't hang I'm gonna have to send you down to the minors and work with a rookie.

[Iggo]

4. Seasons Greetings!

:thumbsup:

[rurallib]

6. not sure if I can take another season.

them 'jesus is the reason for the season' folks can really wear on a guy.
Seems like they are cloning themselves by the millions.
this may be my last year, coach.

[LynneSin]

8. You know you're one of our future Hall-of-Famers. Have you thought of coaching?

We could use experienced people like yourself on our coaching staff. If you feel you're ready to retire maybe we can find a position on our staff for you. I think your vast knowledge and experience with the War on Christmas would be a big help to our growing minor league and rookies who have made it to the majors.

[rurallib]

11. never given it much thought, but yeah, I think I can coach

maybe pass on some of that toughness that keeps us old timers going.

[mikeytherat]

7. The War on Christmas begins on December 26.

You're wayyyyyy behind.

mikey_the_rat

[LynneSin]

9. I love that spirit! So many feel after Christmas they can slack off

Then when the season starts they're so out of shape they never regain form!

[hifiguy]

10. Festivus-ready here!

It's always a good time for The Airing Of Grievances. :)

And here's an oldie but a goodie from DU days past. Found it on the first search

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4194452

edited to add link

[SCantiGOP]

12. But isn't the war on Xmas

disrespectful to Xtians?

[Iggo]

13. I guess if it was real it would be.

But we're safe.

The War On Xmas is no more real than Project X. B-)