Has anyone ever adopted a child? Or been adopted themselves?

[WillParkinson]

Can you tell me anything that might help me decide if we're right to be thinking about adopting a child?

My main concern is raising a child with Paul and having him have to deal with people because he's got 2 dads. In my mind I feel that we can deal with it but in my heart I'd hate to see any child have his parents questioned and made to feel less than anyone else.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. On the scale of pain, I would think dealing with dumb questions about having two dads would be the

lesser of two evils, considering how many kids need to come out of really bad living situations.

Are you thinking baby/toddler or older? National or International? Single kid or siblings so they can stay together? (I bet there are websites that would help you evaluate this and would come up with lots of issues that you would need to consider depending on your plans.)

Personally, I am hoping you guys do it if it feels right to you, because there are so many kids out there who need a loving home! :hug:

[WillParkinson]

3. We're thinking in the range of 4 - 8 years old...

But would consider a bit younger or older. We'd prefer a single child (me being one myself) as our house isn't huge.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. That all sounds very sensible to me. A lot of people want babies, which leaves the older kids

out in the cold, so I think it's great you want an older child.

Have you visited this website before? http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/adopting-a-child-baby-information-for-those-seeking-to-adopt.html There seems to be a lot of helpful info there.

[Shagbark Hickory]

2. I have not but just want to say "go for it" and "good for you!"

I think adoption is a very honorable thing to do and I wouldn't let the genders of your family unit get in the way of adopting children if it's something you really want to do.

[Taverner]

4. Hoping for the best for you two! I wish I could provide info...

Good luck and don't worry about the "two dads" thing

It's a helluva lot better than "no parents"

[WinkyDink]

6. Neither, but I have cousins who were. Turned out fine and dandy!

As for people's questioning: With so many divorces, the child could reply how lucky he is to HAVE two parents!

The added "Nyah! Nyah!" would depend on the circumstances. ;-)

[CottonBear]

7. No and no. However, as a mom, I can tell you that there is no greater joy than raising your child.

You and your partner should definitely consider adoption. Your child (or children - why not two!) will have not one, but two loving parents and he or she will be your greatest joy in life. Your child will also try your patience and wear you out and exhaust you! However, you will know no greater love and happiness in your life. Children are a huge amount of work but what you get from them in love and fun and joy is ten times that of the work and worry of raising them. You can give your child love, understanding, comfort, help and, most of all, listen to them and hear their feelings and concerns. You can tell them you love them unconditionally and that you are there for them always. Good luck on your journey to parenthood! It will not be easy but it will be so wonderful!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. go for it -- !!

you guys will make great parents!! Two Dads are better than no parents at all. Love is love afterall.

wishing you and Paul all the best.

Keep us posted.

:hug:


so excited for you :bounce:

[elleng]

9. I know a few, including 2 women friends who adopted.

Things went well for the family, as far as I know, but they/we were in DC. I'd suggest you consider your 'neighborhood.'

Best of luck.


:hi:

[RebelOne]

10. My daughter and her husband adopted 2 girls

and they had to go through some rigorous physical and psychological tests, plus social workers visiting their home. They had fostered these girls who originally came from an abusive home. Of course, this was in South Florida, so I cannot say anything about the requirements of other states.

[Evergreen Emerald]

11. I was driving a group of elementary aged children once...and

One of the girls said, "I have two moms." Another one responded, "I have three dads including my newest step dad." Another one said, "I used to have a dad, but he moved in with his girlfriend."

I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. Potential downside. Please read this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004

Otherwise, the best to you and yours!