"Dear Gross, Over-Sexualized Reality Star Nobody Currently at Mr. Bones’ Pumpkin Patch..."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Patton Oswalt Vs. Phoebe Price

October 28th, 2011 // 38 Comments

http://www.thesuperficial.com/patton-oswalt-vs-phoebe-price-10-2011



When comedian Patton Oswalt thought it’d be an adorable idea to take his two-year-old daughter to Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch for some fall family fun last night, he clearly wasn’t aware that with the changing of the leaves also comes the whoring of the gourds. This led him straight into the path of Phoebe Price, a lesser known species of shaunasandicus flashavaginacus, prompting him to document his experience on Twitter:

Dear Gross, Over-Sexualized Reality Star Nobody Currently at Mr. Bones’ Pumpkin Patch, Posing for The Photogs You Hired To Come: Please Die
Seriously, this is a place for little kids and this mildew-ey swamp slut is treating it like an FHM shoot. I have no idea who she is.
This is so sad. She’s got some hag-like publicist throwing her toys to pose with. Dressed like a “sexy” pirate. Fuck. Off.
NO WAY am I taking a picture of this silicon-chested scarecrow. I DO want to gather some goose shit from the petting zoo & pelt her.
We’ve left. She’s still there, on top of inflatable skeleton slide posing like a goddamn spaz. Skeezy redhead. Don’t know name, don’t care.
The movie monster who scared me the most as a child was Pippi Longstocking.

[Glorfindel]

1. That's just incredibly tragic, tragic...

such a waste of protoplasm. How shocking for the poor children.

[MilesColtrane]

2. I don't know who she is, but goddamn, she's scary looking.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

3. It's like someone else's head bottom is grafted below her nose

That is one scary looking individual.

[WillParkinson]

4. Family fun...

I sure hope Mr. Oswalt doesn't talk like that in front of his children. While I will not deny she's dressed rather...inappropriately, Mr. Oswalt's rant isn't all that great either.

[PassingFair]

5. Here's my personal favorite Phoebe snapshot: