the nice guy does sometimes win...

[seabeyond]

i have talked about son in a couple threads. all the information that people have shared has been very valuable to me. i like to understand, but with this one, i am out in left field. the many different perspectives has been helpful in my sons life.

he was on school bus for a cross country meet, and an x GF was playing truth or dare, kissing and making out with boys that are friends with son. i picked him up at 11 at night, and he had such rage, totally abnormal for him. i asked for help.

thurs night he talked to a couple friends. one guy friend that will listen and very compassionate (he was sleeping). and a girl friend that is friends with the X (she was doing homework). they were helpful just listening. he had the friend who kissed X calling himself all kinds of stupid, and how wrong it was.

i allowed him to miss school friday.... mainly cause 2 before we went to bed and he had homework he did not get done and a history class with X.

by saturday, the X sent a text saying her life was ruined, son won, could he fix things. son felt vindicated that she was actually affected. i was a bet uncomfortable because now i am feeling sorry for the girl and see it, lesson learned. he didnt get right back to her. he had to think how to reply. he always immediately got back to her. this was a first time he held off replying, to think. sunday night he replied he was over it and just done with it all. she finally sent a text that allowed a bet of understanding on her part and allowed him to close the book.

but the nifty part was monday. he is in a large school. he says, not a lot of close friends but because he is so nice and listens and is loyal, most people like him. thru out his day, he had so many of the girls coming to him, telling him what a good guy he was and man... that X, that was so wrong. kids that he had no idea why they would know. (this is really his first and only drama/trauma situation).

he told me that talking to another friend (a kid i simply love, with a beautiful smile) he told him, this is why nice always pays off. people say the nice guy always loses. but really, like the two of them, the nice guy often wins. and they get to feel good about who they are.

these were wonderful lessons for all the kids that particpated in this. i felt privileged that son shared with me along the way, how all of them walked this. truly fascinating. but then, i get into this stuff, with human behavior.

so thank you all, for the info you shared.

[dawg]

1. Good for him!

Your son has handled this very difficlt situation gracefully. It's great that he was able to turn to you, and to friends, for support.

[PRETZEL]

2. totally agree dawg nt

[siligut]

3. You were so understanding and supportive when he needed you

I am sure you helped him to stay cool and get through that mess with some class.

[pacalo]

4. Your son is a keeper. He's maturing very nicely.