"All the Single Ladies" (from The Atlantic)

[Blue_Tires]

Recent years have seen an explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men’s life prospects that have disrupted the “romantic market” in ways that narrow a marriage-minded woman’s options: increasingly, her choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing). But this strange state of affairs also presents an opportunity: as the economy evolves, it’s time to embrace new ideas about romance and family—and to acknowledge the end of “traditional” marriage as society’s highest ideal.

In 2001, when I was 28, I broke up with my boyfriend. Allan and I had been together for three years, and there was no good reason to end things. He was (and remains) an exceptional person, intelligent, good-looking, loyal, kind. My friends, many of whom were married or in marriage-track relationships, were bewildered. I was bewildered. To account for my behavior, all I had were two intangible yet undeniable convictions: something was missing; I wasn’t ready to settle down.

The period that followed was awful. I barely ate for sobbing all the time. (A friend who suffered my company a lot that summer sent me a birthday text this past July: “A decade ago you and I were reuniting, and you were crying a lot.”) I missed Allan desperately—his calm, sure voice; the sweetly fastidious way he folded his shirts. On good days, I felt secure that I’d done the right thing. Learning to be alone would make me a better person, and eventually a better partner. On bad days, I feared I would be alone forever. Had I made the biggest mistake of my life?

Ten years later, I occasionally ask myself the same question. Today I am 39, with too many ex-boyfriends to count and, I am told, two grim-seeming options to face down: either stay single or settle for a “good enough” mate. At this point, certainly, falling in love and getting married may be less a matter of choice than a stroke of wild great luck. A decade ago, luck didn’t even cross my mind. I’d been in love before, and I’d be in love again. This wasn’t hubris so much as naïveté; I’d had serious, long-term boyfriends since my freshman year of high school, and simply couldn’t envision my life any differently.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/1/

Long piece, but I'm interested in reading what the women in the lounge think about it...

[PassingFair]

1. Nothing new here.

The only difference from days gone by is that
women will have to learn to accept that men
aren't put on this earth to "take care of them".

Men and women should take care of their offspring
TOGETHER. Whether that means the woman stays home
for a while, the man stays home for a while or
gramma or grandpa watches the wee ones.

Women marrying men for their money or their
"potential" will hopefully become a thing
of the past.

This will be healthier for men, AND women.

[Taverner]

2. "We became the men we wanted to marry." ~Susan Sontag

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.