Gobsmacked... yes, that's the word...

[ElboRuum]

I don't usually link to articles... but when I do, I link the ones that are just... well... here. Just take a look for yourself. Proof positive that the United States of America isn't the only place on Earth stuck on stupid. This is NOT an Onion article.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/eu/8897662/EU-bans-claim-that-water-can-prevent-dehydration.html">EU Bans Claim that Water Can Prevent Dehydration

Now if you don't think you can read through something with a title like that all the way without getting 3rd degree stupid burns, let me recap some of the highlights:

"A meeting of 21 scientists in Parma, Italy, concluded that reduced water content in the body was a symptom of dehydration and not something that drinking water could subsequently control."

Really? What can control it? Pez sandwiches?

"I had to read this four or five times before I believed it. It is a perfect example of what Brussels does best. Spend three years, with 20 separate pieces of correspondence before summoning 21 professors to Parma where they decide with great solemnity that drinking water cannot be sold as a way to combat dehydration."

If it is possible for 21 professors to become so disabused of common sense as to make a claim such as this, then disbelief must be suspended in perpetuity for the sake of sanity and the common good.

"Rules banning bent bananas and curved cucumbers were scrapped in 2008 after causing international ridicule."

I would be shocked if there wasn't a precedent for this. Claiming that hydrating to help relieve dehydration is somehow lacking in evidenciary support is too advanced a level of lunacy to just rush into. You have to train for it or you'll sprain something.

Prof Brian Ratcliffe, spokesman for the Nutrition Society, said dehydration was usually caused by a clinical condition and that one could remain adequately hydrated without drinking water.

Wow. Just wow. The clinical condition you refer to is, um, NOT HAVING ENOUGH F***ING WATER IN YOUR G**DAMN BODY, YOU DIZZY BOX OF ROCKS! Beyond that... I can't even comment. I can't wait for the next headline to come out of the Telegraph. Man, acting on the advice of Professor Brian Ratcliffe, dies of dehydration after avoiding water for three days.

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1. Then what IS their treatment for dehydration?