The Biblically correct way to tip a waiter.

[krispos42]

How to Properly Tip a Waiter

November 21, 2011 12:22 am

Money is the root of all evil and this darkness is very prevalent in the food industry. Food servers who are too lazy to make something of themselves expect you to give them money after you just spent your own hardworking dollar on a nice dinner for yourself. This is almost a form of begging, minus the tarnished hands and dark colored skin. So, instead of giving into the liberal suggestion of tipping a minimum wager 15% of your meal’s total cost, we have created something more valuable than the all mighty American dollar….a prayer for salvation.

In the image below you can see that we leave our money grubber a “$10 tip”. When they see it they will most likely start thinking about all the pots they can buy after work or maybe think that they can start saving up for some kind of demonic violent game like Assassin’s Creed or even Portal 2 for their XStations. When the dead beat quickly grabs for the money, he will notice that it isn’t cash and will start to inspect it. Once flipped over, they will notice that what they are holding in their hand is worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox. Here, we have given this waiter a pathway to Jesus’ heart and into the lead them down the trail of eternal salvation.



http://christwire.org/2011/11/how-to-properly-tip-a-waiter

:D

[MiddleFingerMom]

1. Why do you hate Jesus so?

.
.
.
“Pie in the Sky,” Written by Joe Hill, Performed by Utah Phillips, 1911
.
Holy Rollers and Jumpers come out
And they roll and they jump and they shout
Give your money to Jesus, they say,
And you’ll eat on that glorious day
You will eat, bye and bye,
In that glorious land in the sky;
Work and pray, live on hay,
You'll get pie in the sky when you die
That’s a lie
.
.
Workingfolk of all countries, unite
Side by side we for freedom shall fight
When this world and its wealth we have gained
To the grafters we'll sing this refrain
You will eat, bye and bye,
When you've learned how to cook and how to
fry;
Chop some wood, do you good
Then you'll eat in that sweet bye and bye
That’s no lie.
.
.
.

[baldguy]

4. With Ani DiFranco

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhhzElzTZJw

[baldguy]

2. All the more reason to believe some "Christians" shouldn't be let out in polite society.

I've known several waiters & restaurant owners who would gladly kick the ass of anyone who left this as a "tip".

[Bucky]

3. Screwed over by the lambs of Christ.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. Some pretty clever satire at that site.

And sometimes it's hard to tell satire from reality when you're dealing with fundies.

[krispos42]

7. Yes, yes it is.

It's why the fundies have such a hard time understanding Colbert.

"What do you mean, he's joking? What's the joke?"

[rurallib]

6. no court in the land would convict the waiter of homicide in this case

[MrCoffee]

8. I am both relieved and disappointed to find that this is not a circumcision thread.

[krispos42]

9. *groan*

:hi:

[freshwest]

10. What a jackass. Apologies to jackasses everywhere, but dang...