Oh Man!!! Why is life so stupid?

[coloradodem2005]

Well, the matchmaking site I was on had a rule. You could be a free member and if people emailed you, you could email them back and the dialog was open. Now though, I have been talking to this girl who emailed me first. Now, I cannot email her back. It is becoming clear to me that if there is a God, he does not want me to meet anybody or be happy. I don't have any money or a job so I cannot afford to subscribe as a paying member. Well, thanks for shutting that dialog down.

[Systematic Chaos]

1. Yup, that is how they operate....

Usually those sites are free only to the ladies. It's just like ladies' night at any bar or night club where the girls get no admission and free drinks to lure them in and the guys MORE than make up for it.

I don't know if you ever got my PM or not in response to your post from a few nights ago, but I can't stress enough that no matter how discouraging things may seem to you now there is always hope. It took me 33 years to be able to believe that myself, but I'm telling ya it's true.

[coloradodem2005]

2. I'd like to believe it but...

...2003 has been a horrible year for me. This year has been okay, but I am still recovering from last year. Nothing has gone the way I wanted. I really don't like where I am in life. I used to be a guy who believed in God and that God would help me, though my ideology was never like Shrub's. But something horrible happened to me last year and my christian friends say that God has other plans. What about my plans? It's my life and if God loved me, he would let me live it. Well, I fell further and futher away because of this.

As for hope, I used to believe there was, but I don't want to wait until I am 50 or 60, or even 40 to find the supposed hope that may or may not be there for me.

[The Traveler]

3. The world contains what you want

Believe that. Eventually, you will get hooked up. In the meantime, live life as fully as you can possibly accomplish.

[Gore1FL]

4. From experience:

It is becoming clear to me that if there is a God, he does not want me to meet anybody or be happy.

Meeting anybody and being happy are mutually exclusive.

In all seriousness, I spent much of my life searching for, or worrying about the lack of success in said search for a mate.

It took a failure in marriage and the loss of a LOT of material wealth from that failure for me to be comfortable with myself. I am 38 and now happier than I have been since puberty.

Trust me -- Be comfortable with yourself, happiness comes from within. If you can find that, any future relationship endeavor will be much much much more functional.

This is probably one of life's lessons you have to learn yourself. If someone gave me the advice I am giving you years ago, i would probably have ignored it.

For what it is worth, I have been there. No partner will make you whole, but if you look closely, you'll find you already are.

[Hemprus]

5. I can relate

You just never know when something good will come knocking. The waiting is the hardest part.:hi:

[coloradodem2005]

6. Trust me, nothing good will come along.

Not for me anyways.

[Hemprus]

9. Sometimes

you just have to clear your mind of the situation you are in. Busy yourself in something other than what you are thinking about and after a while something good will come your way. Its hard to do, but once you go a week or so making yourself busy you'll see things better. Change your focus!:hug:

[absyntheNsugar]

11. Jeez...think like that and it will be a self fulfilling prophecy

Best yet take a cue from the buddhists...and don't think about it...clear your mind of all thoughts and wait for things to pass and when you're not expecting it something good will come your way.

[methinks2]

12. absynthe huh

I couldn't get past the taste, but I didn't try it with sugar. How is it with sugar?

[absyntheNsugar]

15. Much better, tho brands like Deva don't need it

But the best way is to try the absynthe liquers....less alchohol...

[methinks2]

16. I've only had the kind made in a bathtub.

But I'll keep the info in mind. In which country do you buy yours ?

[absyntheNsugar]

18. Well Im still trying out each countries

I've had four bottles of Czech (Shulz, LaBoheme, Pilsner) and just tried some Spanish stuff (Deva) - to be honest I like the bite of the Eastern European stuff...much harsher and bitter - LIKE LIFE!

[methinks2]

17. Don't you just love the absynthe scene

in Coppola's Dracula? All those candles. Very romantic!

[amazona]

13. negative positivity ?

I think that's what we used to call it. A fine ancient tradition. In days gone by, many pagan peoples believed that if you said something good was happening or going to happen, you put the hex on it, and so arose the habit of speaking what, by modern terms, we consider fairly negative ideas.

It often seems to work. Just when you least expect it, just when you think there is no hope, just when you have raised your fist to heaven and screamed, There is no hope, often that is when things turn around. Today, we phrase it as it's always darkest before the dawn.

As long as you're not clinically depressed or a danger to yourself or something, I don't necessarily think that negative expressions of frustration are all bad. They have a ancient lineage and in my experience, I have found that by occasionally muttering, I never get a break, I actually get more breaks than when I'm muttering that positive thinking crap that does nothing but get the Gods even more pissed off that I'm a ninny.

I guess what I'm saying is...vent, have a good scream, shake your fist at heaven, whatever. I think it can be very good for the soul.

May things get better for you very soon!

[huellewig]

7. Get a new name..

If this was a trial type of thing you could get a new name and try to slip her a AIM or MSN name. It could be worth a try. And if not you need to come to terms with the fact that shit sucks. It gets better. Repeat and rinse. If this is really bumming you out I would suggest finding a local person to talk to. If you know what I mean. I f you want help finding a resource like that just let us know..

[coloradodem2005]

8. Well, I wouldn't mind help finding a resource like that.

Could someone tell me?

[methinks2]

10. life is about learning lessons

The people you meet, you are meant to meet. The situations you encounter, you are supposed to learn a lesson from them. If you don't learn the lessons, you are doomed to repeat.

You live in one of the most beautiful states in the country! I'm stuck in floriduhhh and would love to live in Colorado. Count your blessings. Really , sit and count the things in your life that don't suck, even if it's your favorite jeans. It reminds you of what really makes life sweet. LIke your favorite pair of jeans. Or your favorite sweatshirt (mine says Durango Colorado on it). Or the fact that your state doesn't constantly embarass you.

[amazona]

14. I dunno...you don't think colorado is fairly embarrassing ?

Like I can talk, I live in Louisiana! :-)

It is a beautiful area, though -- haven't been there in too long, haven't been to Florida in too long for that matter.