My LTTE. Tell me what you guys think.

[BlakeB]

I haven't written anything in a few months so I'm a bit rough. I'm open to all constructive criticism. Feel free to edit it and change what you think could be changed. I'm worried it may be a little bit too long, but what do you guys think? Thanks.

Former President George H.W. Bush said some years ago, "Even though I'm a tranquil guy now at this stage of my life, I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious, of traitors." I couldn't agree with him more. Although I have to wonder, in light of the recent revelation that Karl Rove leaked the name of undercover CIA Operative Valerie Plame... does his son feel the same way? Well let's see, before it was revealed that Rove was the leak President Bush had this to say, "If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is and if the person has violated the law, the person will be taken care of." Well now that we know that Rove was the leak why hasn't Bush done what he had promised to do? Why hasn't the White House been more forthcoming with information? Does loyalty to a man who leaked the name of a CIA operative and put that operative in danger come before loyalty to the safety and well being of the American people; does loyalty to that man come before the truth? Where is the outrage?

And the reason Rove leaked the information: retaliation against Plame's husband's findings that there was no validity to the Niger "Yellow Cake" Uranium claim made by the Bush Administration in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq. That's what is most outrageous about all of this. Rove leaked her name for retaliatory political gain. The truth did not matter to him, he simply wanted to make an example out of anyone willing to speak against the Bush Administration and the war in Iraq. And in doing so he not only compromised Plame's anti-terrorism mission in the Middle East, but he put her life in serious danger. That is simply inexcusable. The White House needs to be more forthcoming with information regarding this case, and the Republicans need to stop pretending this isn't an issue. When it all comes down to it this isn't a partisan matter, it isn't red or blue, Democrat or Republican. What it comes down to is a man should be held accountable for his actions. The politicians in this country, especially the White House, owe at least that much to the American people.

[Rhiannon12866]

1. Yes, it's too long, but mine is, too. *sigh*

I'd say In 1999 rather than some years ago. no comma after insidious. I'd just cut Well let's see. Comma after leak. Instead of had this to say just say said. I'd cut Well. Comma after leak.

No need to capitalize Yellow Cake Uranium. I'd make The truth did not matter to him a separate sentence, runs on. I'd eliminate And and add a comma after so, I'd just eliminate When it all comes down to it. I'd just say This isn't a partisan matter, isn't red or blue, And I'd eliminate What it comes down to is and just say A man should be held accountable for his actions.

I think this is very, very effective. It just needed have a few extraneous words trimmed. I just hope that my notes aren't too confusing. I'm very tired from writing mine, LOL! Great job and welcome to DU!:toast:

[BlakeB]

3. Thanks for the suggestions.

But do you think perhaps I should cut it down to 250-300 words or let it stand at 388 words and hope for the best?

[Rhiannon12866]

6. Are my notes too confusing?

If so, I could just do what I suggested on another post, and you could take a look.

I'd try to make it under 300, because there's a greater chance that they'll print it. It really is that good, that I'd make the effort. As I said, you can eliminate extraneous words or phrases. Look for anything redundant and cut that. I need to do the same with mine, but think I've cut it as much as I can and it's still over 300. I used to be a professional proofreader, but my brain is tired. LOL!

Good luck and let me know how it goes!:hi:

[BlakeB]

9. Hehe no your notes were just fine.

But as you can see below another member has edited for length, and I think I'll probably go with that version as I couldn't of edited for length any better myself. Thanks for your tips and corrections though. I very much appreciate it, and I sure will let you know how it goes!

[Rhiannon12866]

15. Yes, I saw that.

I guess that's what I was offering to do, but you're probably better off that she did it, since I was pretty fatigued. But that would normally have been much easier for me than writing notes. I've done both and the latter is much more expedient. Maybe I should have asked her to tackle mine, LOL! Good luck!:hi:

[Pacifist Patriot]

2. Good letter. Here's how you can cut some words/characters...

President George H.W. Bush said, "...I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious, of traitors." I absolutely agree. I have to wonder, given that Karl Rove leaked the name of undercover CIA Operative Valerie Plame, if his son feels the same way. Before Rove was discovered to be the leak, President Bush said, "If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is and if the person has violated the law, the person will be taken care of." Now we know Rove was the leak when will Bush do as he promised? Why hasn't the White House been forthcoming with information? Does loyalty to a traitor come before loyalty to the safety of the American people? Does loyalty to such a man come before the truth?

Rove leaked the information to retaliate against her husband's findings that the Niger yellow cake uranium claim the Bush Administration used in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq was erroneous. Rove's leak for retaliatory political gain is outrageous. Truth did not matter, he wanted to make an example of anyone willing to speak against the administration's war in Iraq. He compromised Plame's anti-terrorism mission in the Middle East and put her life in serious danger. Inexcusable! The White House needs be truthful regarding this case. Republicans must stop pretending this isn't important. A traitor should be held accountable for his actions regardless of political party. The politicians in this country owe that much to the American people.

[BlakeB]

4. Wow. Very nice.

Thanks! Think it has a good chance of being published?

[Pacifist Patriot]

5. You never know what will get published.

I've seen fantastic letters ignored and the most pitiful drivel in the world published ad nauseum. The Rove case is hot, hot, hot right now. I wouldn't be surprised at all if you get a call that you'll be published. YOu did a very good job.

ETA, my first cut ended up at 270 words. Is 300 words your paper's max? My paper won't consider anything over 250.

[BlakeB]

7. My local paper's site just said:

"Shorter letters will receive priority." Think I should try and shorten it down from 270ish to 250?

[Pacifist Patriot]

8. Couldn't hurt.

I usually take four or five passes at my longer ones before I get them trimmed down enough.

[BlakeB]

10. Anything you think I could cut further...

without losing any effect? And thanks very much for the help. I appreciate it.

[BlakeB]

11. I cut it down to 257.

President George H.W. Bush said, "...I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious of traitors." I absolutely agree. I have to wonder, given that Karl Rove leaked the name of undercover CIA Operative Valerie Plame, if his son feels the same way. Before Rove was discovered to be the leak, President Bush said, "If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is and if the person has violated the law, the person will be taken care of." Now that we know Rove was the leak when will Bush do as he promised? Why hasn't the White House been forthcoming with information? Does loyalty to a traitor come before loyalty to the truth and the safety of the American people? Where is the outrage?

Rove leaked the information to retaliate against her husband's findings that the Niger yellow cake uranium claim the Bush Administration used in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq was erroneous. Truth did not matter, he wanted to make an example of anyone willing to speak against the administration's war in Iraq. He compromised Plame's anti-terrorism mission in the Middle East and put her life in serious danger. Republicans must stop pretending this isn't important. A traitor should be held accountable for his actions regardless of political party. The politicians in this country owe that much to the American people.

That's what I think I'm going with. I can't really see cutting it down any more. Any final suggestions on how to cut it down or edits before I send?

[Pacifist Patriot]

12. I think I cut a few more words for you. 240 according to Word.

President George H.W. Bush said, "...I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious of traitors." I absolutely agree. I wonder, given that Karl Rove leaked the name of undercover CIA Operative Valerie Plame, if his son feels similarly. Before Rove was discovered as the leak, President Bush said, "If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is and if the person has violated the law, the person will be taken care of." Now that we know Rove was the leak will Bush do as he promised? Why hasn't the White House been forthcoming with information? Does loyalty to a traitor come before loyalty to the truth and the safety of the American people? Where is the outrage?

Rove leaked the information to retaliate against her husband's findings that the Niger yellow cake uranium claim the Bush Administration used before the invasion of Iraq was erroneous. Truth did not matter, he wanted to make an example of anyone speaking out against the administration's war in Iraq. He compromised Plame's anti-terrorism mission in the Middle East and put her life in serious danger. Republicans must stop pretending this isn't important. A traitor should be held accountable for his actions regardless of political party. The politicians in this country owe that much to the American people.

[BlakeB]

13. Thanks again.

That's the one I'll be going with. I appreciate the support very much. Now let's hope it gets published!

[Pacifist Patriot]

14. Any time. Good luck!

[Bucky]

16. Good edit. Also, try shorter paragraphs in the future

Journalists look for "flow" in what they publish. Short paragraphs will help you fake that.