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Dear Fox News,
Please be strong, as strong as I know you can be under that wonderful Mr. Ailes, and remember that O'Reilly is probably a secret pinko, or maybe he doesn't what he is! I just want to say, Thank the One God Jesus Christ for Fox News!, for defending White Men/American Corporate control of the World. People like Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, and Rupert Murdoch know what's best for all of us, and they are hard at work making themselves billions of dollars and they deserve their wealth -- after all, they are saving the world. Thank Jesus for privatizing the White House and making good government incentive- and profit -based. Thank Jesus for a hard-working blue-collar success story like our Great President, George W. Bush, and his wonderful, hard-working, blue-collar family. They succeeded on their own merits, God bless 'em! And Thank Jesus for sparing President Bush and Vice President Cheney from harm during the Vietnam War! They did not go to Vietnam, Cheney had "other priorities," and thank Jesus for those priorities: we see now they were not only to profit Hallburton and the Veep but to save the world. And our Commander-in-Chief didn't need to learn how to be a Great War President by actually serving in Vietnam (like those saps Max Cleland, John Kerry, and Al Gore, to say nothing of those liberal-press-objects of sympathy, black people): he was BORN to be a Great War President and he got his training from his commando instincts. Like how he wiped the floor with John McCain in the 2000 South Carolina! primary. Look how he absolutely demolished Al Gore in the 2000 presidential election! By the way, we n eed to start limiting the vote in this country; those cpuple of million black people cut out of the 2000 vote should never have had the vote anyway, and those old Jewish people in Dade County, Florida, they're not real Americans, either. Pretty funny we tricked THEM into voting for Pat Buchanan, huh? At least we White Men have control of the voting chip! I do want you to tell the real story, by the way, of the "outing" of that commie pinko woman, Plame. What Rove did was not treason because she wasn't a real CIA operative; after all, 1) she's a woman who should have stayed in the kitchen cooking up commie food for her commie hubbie, 2) her commie hubbie was unpatriotically, treasonously, reporting lies about Our Motivations for going to war in Iraq, a war, which, incidentally, was certainly worth the lives of Young Americans (hopefully only black ones!), even though no WMD's have been found. For, after all, our Great Corporations are benefiting, rightly so, from all of Iraq's natural resources (the black gold kind), and "we" (namely Halliburton and the other Godfearing Christian corporations of America) deserve to have a monopoly on the profits from Iraq, and our Brave Young Soldiers deserved to die for these profits and the Great American Free Market system that lets our Corporations get monopolies because of their connections to our Great Blue Collar War-Hero President. It's the American Way! Keep up the great work, Fox!
Yours truly,
A Huge Fan
PS Please sign me up for your news alerts. I want fair and unbiased reporting.
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