|
What a freaking idiot he's turning out to be. He's so used to playing both sides to keep from pissing people off that he's timid on everything, making no one happy, and turning invisible with indecision.
Be bold, man! Lead! Come up with an aggressive plan to counter Obama. You have experience, age, something that might be mistaken for wisdom, a good sense of humor. Use them! Alright, here's what you need to do, John. First, take one position and act like you actually believe in it. Better, make yourself believe in it! Quit cautiously telling people what you are afraid they will not want to hear. Step up to the mike.
"Hi. I'm John McCain, and I actually believe what I'm about to tell you! We need nuclear power, right now! No more oil wars--not that we've had any recently! No more high gas prices--not that that's our fault! Reduce dependence on foreign oil, and we will be safer from terrorists! Not that we should pander to them, we should still keep bombing them and stuff, but you know, not pissing them off so much might make it a little easier. Not that we're pissing them off, I mean. But, we are, sort of. But not. It wouldn't hurt us to stop, is all I'm saying. Think how much better you'd feel if your electric bill said "Power supplied by nuclear energy produced right here in the USA!" And I promise if I'm elected president that we'll find something to do with the nuclear waste! Heck, no one lives in ANWR, and we can't drill there... Let's dump nuclear waste in ANWR!"
I'm sure with a little thought, John, you can come up with similar strong, decisive solutions to the war in Iraq, the recession, the deficit, and our collapsing economy! Build condos on government land, John! How much would Bill Gates pay you for the right to build on the edge of the Grand Canyon? Sell advertising space on Hoover Dam! Use the imagination!
Try it, John. Be decisive. Sure, your flip-flopping and your party's enslavement to corporate interests with no concern for voters limits your options, as does your party's reliance on an odd mixture of right wing constituents loosely united by a series of contradictory promises your predecessor had no intention of keeping...
Fuck it, John, maybe if you switch parties Obama will let you visit the White House some Sunday.
|