Friday's Gungeon Gun Humor

[Spoonman]

With all the flaim bait this week, I thought we might need a good laugh.

Are you a Gun Grabber, a Gun Nut, or just a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:


You're walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and two small children.


Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges at you.


You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. (Large caliber pistol)


You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:










Gun Grabbers
Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that
would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus.






Gun Nuts
Answer:



BANG!






Redneck's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG !

Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG !

Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

[zanne]

1. Not funny. Keep your day job. nt

[Spoonman]

3. Sorry if I offended

any rednecks..............

[fightthegoodfightnow]

11. Row, Row, Row Your Boat......... Faster

.
I get a message deleted on another board for stereotyping some gun crazies as Deliverance loonies while this cr*ap is allowed on this board. Board monitor? How about a little consistency.

[Wickerman]

13. If you have a complaint, use the appropriate function

explain why you think it violates DU rules, and it will be examined. The end result may not always be to your satisfaction, but it will be evaluated.

And surely, by now, you know the DU rules. Accusing mods of bias in thread is NOT in agreement with DU Rules.

[fightthegoodfightnow]

15. Good Advice, but I'm Not Accusing You of ANYTHING

......and I'm certain you know the rules.













.

[Wickerman]

18. Sorry, I guess I misread this statement

"Board monitor? How about a little consistency."

[Tejas]

38. Probably because

this post was meant as a joke, not another of a long line of diatribes venting against law-abiding firearms enthusiasts.

Thicker skin isn't really needed in cases like this, just a little broader sense of humor, even for us gun-nuts. At least we can laugh at ourselves, and that's a good thing.

[Buzz cook]

41. It's not offensive it's just not funny. This is funny

A beautiful woman walks up to a gunner and asks "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me"? The gun nut replies, "It's a Glock". Ta dum dump.

A gunner loses everything he owns due to stock manipulation and real estate fraud. But he's still got his guns thanks to George Bush. Ta dum dump.

George Bush is proposing a tax rebate of $600. Is it A. To stimulate the economy? B. An excuse to give more money to his cronies. C. A chance to buy a black rifle before Hilbama makes them illegal. ta bum bump

At a normal home, knock knock. who's there? Duane. Duane who? Duane the bathtub I'm dwowning.
At a gunners home, knock knock. Bang. ta dum dum

Halloween at a gunners house. Tricker treat! Bang. Oops sorry, that one really happened.

In fact with the exception of the knock knock joke, each of those jokes is based on something that's really happened. Duane, where ever he is isn't drowning in a bathtub

[rsdsharp]

2. No offense

but I see more than enough of this thing on the gun boards I frequent. It's stereotypical crap directed at "liberals" there, and your attempt to substitute the term "gun-grabber" doesn't make it any funnier when it's posted here.

[Spoonman]

4. I don't hang out on those sites,

but by your own admission.............????????

This was forwarded to me by a friend.

[Name removed]

9. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Buzz cook]

42. You didn't write that yourself?

Then there's just no excuse.

[ac2007]

5. Gun nut here

With a modification that the BANG! BANG! BANG! would continue until said crazed man was no longer moving towards me. Taxidermy? Nah, too expensive and I'd have nowhere to put a mounted criminal in my house.

And they'd be hollowpoints and my children would know that in advance.

:)

[MaryCeleste]

6. I agree, keep your day job

Its hard to find humor in those situations. However, I get your message

[comradebillyboy]

7. Great joke

I fit the gun nut category. Bang, proper response. Kimber 1911 nice reliable accurate high quality piece. I carry a S&W 1911 PD or a Sig P239 in .40 S&W, I shoot every other Sunday, and one shot should do for a properly qualified individual.

The police won't defend us, and I choose not to be a victim. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

[olefty]

8. Even as a liberal, I can still see the humor

It's funny that just as I have "discovered" that gun control is taking away one of our constitutionally guaranteed rights, we are facing new gun control from whomever our new president is, as much as I'd rather see Hillary, O'Bama will win and support new gun control. We here in IL are also staring down the barrel of new gun control laws. But I digress, it's a funny joke and all too true.

[fightthegoodfightnow]

14. Yea........ Joking about Violence is Funny to Some Folks

I'm not one of them.

[sabre73]

40. No you just........

criticize other people to get you laughs! This is a funny joke because of the IRONY. But alas, humor, like good sense, is waisted on some people.

LOVE this joke! It never gets old.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

31. Oh God, Iove that!

A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

[comradebillyboy]

35. thanks, I think its kind of a cute slogan and unfortunatly, true

and we see plenty of stories here and everywhere else where the cops ignore calls for help from people in real danger. Kind of makes one question the priorities of the police.

[Spoonman]

37. There's a lot to be said about the addictive properties of

a good donut!

[Buzz cook]

43. Kinda a self fulfilling prophecy.

Seems like most of the gun huggers are also the ones that want to cut the budget of first responders.
We know that's what Bush did after 9/11.

[fightthegoodfightnow]

10. Thanks for the Stereotypes

... really.











But heh.......... I'm sure there are no gun crazies in your world either.

[fightthegoodfightnow]

12. I'm None of the Above......... But I Have a GOOD Idea Which One YOU Are

I'm None of the Above......... But I Have a GOOD Idea Which One YOU Are

[Spoonman]

23. So the mods don't delete your reply,

I'll answer it for you....... I'm the gun nut!!!!!!!!

Be glad, because it might be you that was headed the same direction and one block behind me and I just cleared the path!

[fightthegoodfightnow]

24. Shows What You Know

That's not the answer I would have gone with for you, but you would know (I would hope).

Asking you to answer your own question is not a violation of DU rules despite your twisted suggestion that it is.

[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[fightthegoodfightnow]

26. Didn't Say That

Did I?

[Spoonman]

28. The inference was there

and I think it's funny.

It really helps you support your assertions on gun control too!

Did you get that inference?

[fightthegoodfightnow]

29. No.......

You may have seen three choices. I didn't.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

32. No? or know?

Don't wanna pick nits here, just sayin.

[Spoonman]

33. Sorry bout' that

My mind works faster than my fingers!

[frebrd]

16. Gun-owning Liberal here...

I thought it was funny!

:-)

[fightthegoodfightnow]

17. What Gun Owner Doesn't?

No surprise there.

[fightthegoodfightnow]

19. Do You Consider Your Post FLAME BAIT?

Do you consider your post FLAME BAIT when you write "With all the flaim bait this week, I thought we might need a good laugh."

If not, what relevance does your post have to flame baiting?

[slackmaster]

20. It's some kind of bait, and it's pretty clear who took it hook, line, and sinker

:rofl:

[Spoonman]

22. In all honesty,

I was really poking fun at rednecks!!!!!!

But hell, I'll take the bonus points!

[slackmaster]

27. It is amazing what some people will volunteer for

;-)

[Spoonman]

34. In all actuality it's my fault.

I was unaware that the department of transportation had repealed the law requiring safety rails on turnip trucks.

[comradebillyboy]

36. those damn rednecks give us gun nuts a bad name

and I mean that in the nicest possible way regarding rednecks. You got to have a sense of humor to be a liberal gun nut you know.

[SteveM]

39. God almighty, FTGF is parading credentials! Oh, I got one...

Guy walks into the gun shop with his .38 and asks the smith: "Modify this gun so I can hunt bears."

Gun smith: "Say what?!"

Guy: "Yeah, I'm gonna hunt bears."

So the smith takes the gun and files off the front sight, removes the rear sight, bobs the hammer, removes the big grips and replaces them with insets; re-chamfers the entire piece, wipes it down with oil and presents it to Guy.

Guy: "What good will that do?!"

Gun smith: "Well, when the bear rams it up your ass it won't hurt so much."

[Buzz cook]

44. Now that's funny nt

[slackmaster]

21. You forgot to add "TINKETY Tinkety tinkety tinktinktinktink" after the BANGs

:hi:

[Name removed]

30. Deleted message

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