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Edited on Fri Oct-15-04 09:05 PM by PROGRESSIVE1
"John Kerry crushes Bush in re-election effort"
Most Pundits say the "alleged "victory" doesn't mean much"
Last night, Senator John Kerry (D-MA) handily defeated President Bush in his re-election effort by a massive double digit margin. With 98% of the votes in, John Kerry recieved 71% of the popular vote and a 49 state win, only loosing the Religiously Conservative State of Utah. President Bush got 26% of the popular vote and Utah's 7 electoral votes while Ralph Nader and others split the last 3%. Former Democratic Candidate Governor Howard Dean recieved 10% of Vermonts' votes through a last minute write in campaign.
Just two weeks ago this election was too close to call but many believed that Mr. Bush "went over the edge" by bringing the recently captured Osama Bin Laden to the American public so close to the election. The timing was very suspect and according to John Zogby, "Americans remember Bush's past political stunts such as flying onto the U.S.S Lincoln last May (2003) and declaring major combat operations to be over when in fact more fighting has occured since that day"!
CNN's left leaning pundit Paul Begala says that "the American people were finnaly sick and tired of Mr. Bush's political stunts". Paul Krugman of the New York Times said that the American people "woke up after Bin Laden's capture and realized that the Bush administration was built upon lies, distortions, and cheap political theatre". "They were concerned that a desperate man such as Bush could not be trusted to lead the nation in these trying times" said Columnist Mark Shields.
However, other pundits say that John Kerry and the Liberally biased media played a major role in defeating the President. William Kristol of the Weekly Standard says that "it is a fact that John Kerry's assistants in the liberal media did whatever they could to smear Bush and unfairly portray him as an opportunist" while Bob Novak said that John Kerry "used his ties in the left wing media" to attack "George Bush's character".
Other pundits such as the right leaning Ann Coulter said that "the Democrat Party stole this election with help of the Communists Terrorists". Sean Hannity of Fox News' "Hannity and Colmes" called this a "day of Victory for the Taliban" and his counterpart Alan Colmes said that "he is dissappointed in the Democrat Party for playing such dirty tricks on Mr. Bush who is a man of strong character". Mr. Colmes "vowed" to "defeat the mean spirited John Kerry in 2008". Colmes also said that it would be "acceptable to make a deal with the Terrorists to defeat Mr. Kerry". The Secret Service has been dispatched to investigate Mr. Colmes for this comment. Senator Trent Lott chimed in to tell us that the "Democrat Party's left wing operatives used to deceptive methods to get out the "Negro Vote" as a means to undermine George Bush". The Senators comments caused and outrage from the public just has his last comments did in December 2002 in which Lott said that "America would have been better off had Strom Thurmond won the 1948 Presidential Election".
Televangelist Pat Robertson said that Kerry's "victory" didn't mean much since George Bush still holds the "keys to God's house". CNN's Phil Schnieder said that George Bush still won the "moral victory" because only he is a "man of God". Gary Bauer said that "John Kerry's Godlessness is why he only got 70% of the vote". The reality is that the 27% who voted for George Bush truely understand morality and Jesus".
The Liberal pundits were considered to be overtly bias in shamelessly promoted Senator Kerry while bashing Bush. The right leaning pudnits were much more balanced, only showing slight bias in their critisism. Left Wing Talk show host Al Franken wished Bush "well" after bashing him for months on his left wing "hate fest" while Chris Matthews of Hardball said that George Bush played a clean game and lost while John Kerry played with the Viet-Cong and won (though this is only opinion but still newsworthy).
Some of the latest polls had indicated that John Kerry who was tied with the President, finnally broke away after Bin Ladan had been captured. Basically, the American people "woke up and saw who Bush really is, that is, a small desperate man" said Senator Lincoln Chaffee of Rhode Island who intends on switching to the Democratic Party and caucusing with them on January 3rd, 2005. The last Zogby poll had John Kerry at 63% against George Bush's 30%. Though that margin was very large, the final results were unexpected as 75% of Americans turned out to vote. Never in American history have so many people come out to vote. The Gallup Poll Company has decided to close up shop due to it's highly in accurate polling predictions. Only Gallup showed President Bush in the lead against John Kerry with Bush getting 60% of the vote to Kerry's 20%. Other polls showed Kerry winning the race by some margin or the other. Fox News showed Kerry with a 1% lead (47 Kerry/46 Bush) and American Research Group showed Kerry with a 20 point lead over President Bush.
The Liberal Massachussetts Senator won at least 60% of the vote in every state except for Utah where he lost to President Bush by one percentage point (President Bush recieved 49% of the vote to Kerry's paltry 48%). Even with Bush's Utah Victory, four of Utah's seven electors have pledged their vote to Kerry giving him a potential 535 Electoral Votes. 2 Electors pleged their votes to Howard Dean and one pledged their vote to Judge Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court leaving President Bush with no electoral votes. It is the first time that an incumbent President has not recieved a single electoral vote. Kerry's greatest electoral victories were in Massachussetts (100%), Washington D.C (100%), Vermont (88%), and Texas (85%).
Senator Kerry will take office on January 20th, 2005 and Teresa Heinz Kerry will become the wealthiest and most "out of touch" First Lady ever.
No one knows what will become of the Republican party as they hold only 25 seats in the Senate as opposed to the Democrats 75 seats and the Republicans won a respectable 65 in the House to the Democrat Party's 366. The Green party managed to win 2 seats in California and the Libertarian party managed a single seat in New Mexico.
(This IS a comical post, though I hope that we come to a HUGE victory on November 2nd)
{Please note the subtle "Anti-Democratic Party" bias}
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