THE BASTARDS!!! ....or, Best Methods For Preventing Sign Stealing

[Doohickie]

They got me again this evening! I'm on a corner lot, and one of my signs is clearly visible from the picture window, but the other was (emphasis on past tense) on the side where it is not visible from inside the house.

I am looking for what works for you to keep the sign thieves at bay. I coated my replacement sign (yes, I'm properly stocked) with vaseline, as well as the one they didn't get.

Does anyone know if it is against the law in Texas to booby trap your personal property? I was thinking of putting some nails in the posts near the bottom of the posts so that the point ends are exposed. I'm leaning against that, but I'm just curious.

I am also going to splurge and buy the 4'x4' sign and bolt it with carriage bolts to my privacy fence on the side of the yard.


Revenge will be sweet when Kerry crushes Bush in two weeks.


Tally ho!

[sangh0]

1. Soak some chili peppers in water and spray the sign

If the touch their eyes after stealing your sign, they'll be sorry

[Auntie Bush]

2. They will also be sorry if they take a pee.

[Dogmudgeon]

4. Get an ointment with Capsaicin in it

It does the same thing, is easier to use, and has a higher dose of pepper oil in it than merely soaking peppers would do.

If pepper spray is legal in your area, carefully discharge a sprayer into a bottle and use that.

Personally, I'd just as soon rig an alarm to the sign and consider ambushing the thief and taking pictures. But if you want to put the hurt on 'em, OC -- Oleoresin Capsicum -- is the way to go.

--bkl

[THUNDER HANDS]

12. um

what do you do if they wear gloves?

[Doohickie]

18. I'm guessing it's a crime of opportunity and they aren't that well

prepared. I mean, in the fundamentalist Christian's mind, it's less of a sin if you don't plan it ahead of time (which is why so many fundy girls get preggers). I think we're dealing with the same element.

[Warpy]

19. Buzzing habaneros in a blender

with a little oil will really be lethal, although water will do nicely.

Capsaicin hurts mucus membranes like hell, but doesn't do any damage.

It should be as legal as pepper spray is, but if you don't like screaming kiddies, don't put your peppery signs where kids play.

[Doohickie]

24. My kids are old enough that I don't have to worry about it

and other kids would be trespassing if they got close enough to worry about it.

[havocmom]

3. I keep telling you people: Get hot wire fence components and wire those

signs to some juice! The juice comes from a unit you plug in which sends a pulse through the wires. It will not kill anyone or anything. It will zap the piss out of anyone who touches it when the power is on to the box. They will probably yelp pretty good. You can turn on the lights and take their picture for the police.

[Piperay]

41. LOL at the

thought of that juice going threw them. :evilgrin:

[Divernan]

5. Vaseline?!?! What on earth good does that do?

I take my sign in at dusk every night.

[Doohickie]

8. Harder to grip, and here's the nasty part:

The kind lady who made the signs purposely used low-grade, splintery wood. The vaseline makes it so they have to grab on real hard, making the splinters dig in better.

:evilgrin:

Also, taking them in at night would not have prevented this... it was barely dusk when I discovered the sign was missing.

[deadparrot]

6. barbed wire...small children might want to beware, though...:)

[IIgnoreNobody]

7. What about electric fencing?

[Doohickie]

9. How much does a basic electric fence setup cost?

Intriguing idea, but I'm putting the wife through college right now, and my son starts next year, so I'm not exactly made of money....

[zulchzulu]

10. An affordable solution...and a proven one too!

I've heard people try to steal with it and the alarm goes off. They run....pussies. The alarm was about $5 at a Walgreen's.

[Doohickie]

21. There's a Walgreen's walking distance from my house.

I think we have a winner!

[debatepro]

11. Texas Solution

Your basic hunting rifle. An AK-47 or Uzzi will do the trick.

[Doohickie]

27. Yeah, but I'm the one guy in Texas that doesn't own a gun!

:-(

[meisje]

13. It's a crime to wire your signs w/ electricity

Save yourself some legal trouble and don't do it!

[IIgnoreNobody]

22. In what jurisdiction under what statute?

[bush equals idiot]

14. I still like the idea of them falling into a pit.

I just like the idea. I don't know how the hell you'd do it. But wouldn't that be sweet. You could come out and throw just enough food in the hole to keep them alive.:+

[TreasonousBastard]

15. I would be very careful...

about anything that would actually cause even a small injury.

Yes, they are thieves on your property, but why ask for trouble over a political sign? Or risk hurting children?

I would lean more toward a tripwire that would activate an enormously powerful light, a camera, and a PA system yelling "STOP!! THIEF!!!!"

I might also think of some foul smelling skunk spray, or paint,powdered chalk, etc....

[DenaliDemocrat]

16. Nope - pepper spray is too tame

Here's what you do. You get yourself some 1/8 wood and you drive some 3 -inch nails so they are poking up through the wood. You put the wood in front of your sign and over it with dirt or grass shavings, whatever to camoflage it -- it does not have to be perfect, they are doing this at night and it will be dark. They will step on the board and get a footfull of nails



Also, rat traps if you can rig them somehow, but they WILL break fingers or toes.

[kestrel91316]

17. Well if it were me.....................

I'd surround the signs with Punji sticks, but then I'm particularly evil.

[HuskerDem]

20. I used bright red duct tape and sewing pins to keep my signs safe

Hard to argue for any kind of serious injury from a sewing pin, but painful none the less.

Here's what I did with my signs. All the way around the signs and the stands, I bordered them with the red duct tape, about 25% on the sign and 75% exposed. I bought a box of extra long sewing pins at the hobby shop, about 1.79 for 450. I fixed the sewing pins to the exposed duct tape around the entire perimeter and the stands as well about 1" apart except for two narrow areas not immediately obvious so I could push the sign into the ground. Once the pins are all in place you seal it up with duct tape on the opposite side and VIOLA!

My signs are still in my yard.

[txindy]

23. Well, I don't know about booby-traps set ahead of time

but I do know that here in Texas it is legal to use deadly force to protect your personal property if it is actively being threatened (although I know I worded it wrong... Any TX lawyers here?). Yes, we're a merry bunch in Texas! :eyes:

Don't you remember the story a few years back about the guy who came out of a restaurant to find another man rifling through his car? He shouted, the would-be thief (he never did take anything, no time) walked away, the car's owner chased after him for a block or two, shot and killed him. For....nothing. He was never indicted for the killing, either. Decision? "Defending his property." Yep, yep, yep. We're a merry bunch. :eyes:

Booby-traps, though,...I don't know. :shrug:

[in_cog_ni_to]

25. Put barbed wire in the fold.

Stick it through the top and let them slice their hands. :evilgrin:

[Zorra]

26. Buy some pepper spray designed for grizzly bears. It has a

range of about 30 feet and you can hide somewhere and zap a thief in the face as they steal your sign. Keep a cell phone with you and call the police immediately after the thief goes down so they can arrest the sign thief while they are still incapacitated.

If you have a friend with you one of you can duct tape the thief while one of you threatens to spray the thief again. When the police come they can just haul the creep off to jail.

[Lex]

28. Here's my recipe.

Here's what I recommend to make the culprits have stinging fingers. It won't cause permanent damage, but might cause some temporary discomfort.

Using dried red cayenne pepper flakes, make a "tea" (quart of boiling water over 1/4 c. flakes) then strain through a coffee filter and spray over your sign. Let dry.

The oils released from the peppers will stick on the sign and then on the fingers and skin of the thief.

Handle your own sign with gloves that you can wash, or throw-away gloves.

[Doohickie]

29. I looked on the shelf in my laundry room and found

"BITTER END, A Training Aid to Help Stop Dogs and Cats From Chewing, Biting, Gnawing, Licking and Clawing"

Listed in the ingredients are Extracts of Cedar, Dragon's Blood, Tansy, Agrimony, Oleoresin Capsicum (Cayenne Pepper).

I applied it liberally to the signs. It's a start. Hopefully it will leach into the vaseline.

[seabeyond]

30. a sign isnt worth hurting someone, imo

bring it in at night

[Doohickie]

31. I can't

They are on wooden stakes driven as far as I could get them into the ground. Like I said, the sign that was stolen today was during daylight; if they were easily removable, they would be, well, removed.

[Doohickie]

32. Besides, the only person it will hurt is someone who tries to pull

it out of the ground, and even then, there will be no permanent injury. I've had this Bitter End stuff on my hands myself; it's not that bad; more of an annoyance than anything.

[Lex]

34. Oh a little discomfort won't hurt them

and maybe they'll think twice about yanking other people's signs up.

[seabeyond]

35. i was talking more the nails in a wood

wink

welll i have two neigbors up the street who have had their kerry sign for a couple months, in the panhandle of texas. i am thrilled they have not had them stolen. i would be pissed if someone missed with my kerry bumpersticker

[HuskerDem]

36. I'm telling you, the sewing pins have worked great for me

It takes a few minutes to set up, but it's kept them safe and unmolested.

[Maiden England]

33. should they touch mine...

they will encounter it covered in a mixture of vaseline/oil, and freshly picked cayenne pepper mash. Its been real dry here this season, so the peppers are super super hot.
Above the sign on my fence is a little message. 'Be aware that stealing election signs is a felony - smile for the security camera' Oh and for good measure, my video camera is conspicuously displayed in my window.
Bring it on freepers. I need a good laugh.

[Doohickie]

37. I left the light in my front window on

With the sheer curtains we have, you can't really see in, so no one can tell if they're being watched.

[Lindacooks]

38. Don't forget poison ivy/poison oak!

Smear the leaves all over the sign (you wear heavy gloves to do this), and they'll be itching for weeks.

[JCMach1]

39. coat in pepper spray! How about hunting musk!!!

[chaska]

40. Vaseline, peppers ... that's just really stupid. And worthless. continued

Go buy and inexpensive burglar alarm with a very loud horn and/or wire up an inexpensive electricfied fence type device to the signs. You want to either catch these clowns or keep them from stealing your signs. All else is a waste of time.

[Clintmax]

42. It's really sad

Reading through these posts, all I can think of is how sad it is that we have to go through so much just to have a sign remain unmolested in our own yards. In my town, people steal the bumper stickers right off our cars as well as stealing signs placed in peoples yards.

"...Thou shalt not steal..." is obviously only meant for some people and not others. There is, in my book, nothing worse than a thief and if I ever caught someone stealing a Kerry sign, I'm not sure WHAT I'd do!

Of all the suggestions posted, I like the motion detector idea best. However, if the sensor is covered, won't that make the detector inoperable?

[npincus]

43. cover the post in Spray-Mount aersoal glue

by 3M- get it in any art or hardware store. It's invisible, and very very sticky. The bastards' hands will get stuck to your sign.

tee hee

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

44. Find an old car battery...

Be sure that it's completely dead and perfectly safe. Place it prominently next to your sign with wires running from the battery. Any sign thieves will have to a) trust to luck that they're not going to get an electric shock or b) take the extra time to unhook the battery (in the dark, no less).

My guess is that they'll move on.