Old Man Cheney With His Finger on the Button.

[Nerdling]

{Nerdling-BAH!) Vice President Cheney vowed today to unleash a "Nuclear Reign of terror on the United States" if more than 11 people vote for John Kerry in this Novembers Presidential election.

"It has come to my attention that John Kerry is an evil man with fantastically beautiful grey hair and John Edwards is a girlie man who has beautiful luscious combed hair and I will stop this hair from entering my offices as much as possible. This is why I will unleash a nuclear region of terror upon America if anyone outside their immediate families votes for them."

The Vice President then stared manically towards a sick child, possibly a weak liberal child then said "You don't believe me? I'VE GOT MY FINGER ON THE FUCKING BUTTON. *DEAN SCREAM INSERT HERE*"



Analysts have said that this threat may or may not exist. Homeland Security is expected to raise the Voter Apathy level to "meh" up from last weeks "whatever". Sources indicate that Co-President Cheney currently resides in a bunker in deepest darkest transylvania and is currently writing a speech criticising John Kerry for wearing a yellow windbreaker tonight.

CNN God Robert Novak added some hearty commentary to the VicePresidents threats and referred to him as a "sweet old man that never did anything wrong, except for that... halliburton thing.

Whilst up and coming Republican Alan Keyes said he was " a good man who loved his wife and children, even that fucking selfish hedonist, he also had comments about Cheneys daughters calling her a big bad dyke".

Just thought the Cheney pic needed a faux article :D

TERRA! OOGITY BOO!

[Wolfman 11]

1. playing with his invisible whip

that shrub has been conditioned to obey when brandished by The Penguin