Can we predict all the Kerry rumours that will be spread, next 12 days?

[Must_B_Free]

Kerry Fixed Horseraces?
Kerry is a fairy? (Oops - already used heavily)
Kerry's mother wore combat boots?
Kerry has a bastard stepchild, locked in the cellar?
Kerry seduced a nun?
Kerry once walled a man up behind a brick wall?
Kerry can't dance.
Kerry has fleas.
Kerry has a weak heart and a trick knee.
Kerry really isn't a war hero? (oops again)
Kerry is a traitor (Oops. damn!)
Kerry was the last one seen with Chandra Levy AND Lori Klausutis?
Kerry shot John Lennon AND John F Kennedy.

[theorist]

1. Kerry speaks French so he looks French. (oops.)

Kerry has a fiery independent wife. (I think this one helps more than hurts.)

Kerry/intern. (Rehash this one, yet again.)

Kerry eats babies. (Freeper: "Hear me out on this one....")

Kerry was somehow involved in the execution of 9/11. (I'd actually beg the freepers to start a thread on this one. PLEASE!)

[intheflow]

2. Kerry laughs when he hears soldiers are dying in Iraq?

Kerry sucks fetuses through straws?

Kerry personally embezzled and spent all the Social Security surplus?

Kerry fixed the Red Sox game, using Theresa's money to pay off the Yankees?

[LVdem]

3. Kerry flossed his teeth with Mary Cheney's THONG

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. Kerry is intelligent.

We dont need no steenkeen brains in a Presendent.

[mellowinman]

5. Kerry is Lincoln's Mother

Edwards is a Yucca plant.

I'm spreading this one myself.

[RevolutionStartsNow]

6. As heard on the Daily Show last night...

Kerry is going to detonate a nuclear bomb in a big city that turns everyone gay!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

7. Kerry wants to marry gays in the White House

and abolish Sunday school.

[PerfectSage]

8. Kerry Rumors:

The goose Kerry killed was made of plastic.
That on Aug 6/2001 Kerry received a senatorial daily briefing saying That OBL was planning an attack on the US of A.
That Kerry is a lazy, lying, incompetent puppet of John Edwards.
That Kerry got into Yale as a legacy student.
That Kerry is a right wing, neocon, PNACer who's secret agenda is to establish an American Empire.

Best of all: That Kerry is a strong leader who will keep Amurka safe and win the War on Terrorism.

Yada-yada & endless variations on the same theme

B/C No Mo' Years :party::toast:

[WildEyedLiberal]

9. You know what I'm sorta surprised they didn't do?

Go dig some dirt-ass poor 30-something year old Vietnamese person out of the jungle, give them a cool million, and then fly them back to the United States so that said Vietnamese person could claim to be John Kerry's forgotten and abandoned bastard child, whom he fathered in a careless and selfish tryst with a teenage girl back in 1969. Of course, I guess that's easily disproven...

Or else find some fifty-something woman and give her the cash so she could tell everyone how John Kerry raped her after he burned down her village. Seriously, I'm surprised the Rove machine didn't go for something like that. I guess the "traitor" and "coward" shit was enough for them.

[JasonNeedlemeyer]

10. Kerry once farted before a lady.

He didn't know it was her turn. :)