Dean's Wife Shuns Politics (NYTimes)

[chimpymustgo]

By JODI WILGOREN

Published: January 13, 2004

-snip-

In 23 years of marriage, 18 of which Dr. Dean has spent running for, or serving in, office, his wife, Judith Steinberg Dean, has developed an unusual role for the political spouse: invisible.

During Dr. Dean's two years of relentless campaigning for the Democratic presidential nomination, Dr. Steinberg has stood by her husband's side at a political event exactly once, at his official announcement speech here in June. A country doctor who still makes the occasional house call and attends PTA meetings, Dr. Steinberg has given about a dozen interviews — none televised — two fund-raising letters and a cameo on a half-hour advertisement.

She has never been to Iowa.

It is a reprise of her performance as first lady of Vermont. When Dr. Dean became governor, Dr. Steinberg reluctantly danced through the first two inaugural balls, in 1993 and 1995, but that event was soon cut from the state capital calendar and replaced with an open house, which she skipped. Dr. Dean, for his part, rarely uttered her name, even to say thanks, in public speeches.

-snip-

Some Dean backers see Dr. Steinberg as a role model for independent women balancing careers and children, but others in the campaign increasingly regard her absence as a potential liability for a candidate who is known for his reluctance to discuss his personal life or upbringing. Yet the topic is all but off-limits with the candidate. Voters also have begun to ask about a marriage in which the partners are so often apart — she skipped Dr. Dean's birthday-party fund-raiser, the family-oriented Renaissance Weekend, even the emotional repatriation ceremony of his brother's remains in Hawaii.

-snip-

"The whole thing has just struck me as a little odd," said Myra Gutin, who has taught a course on first ladies at Rider University in New Jersey for 20 years. "There may be some voters out there who say, `well, why isn't she here? Why isn't she supporting him?' It's the most outward manifestation of support."

-snip-

"The other candidates will come around with their wives and say `here we are,' and then there will be these questions," said Lewis Gould, a University of Texas historian emeritus who is editing a biography series, "Modern First Ladies." "This is the most important office in the world and you ought to have an interest that your husband is doing it. So, where are you?"

-snip-


http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/13/politics/campaigns/13JUDY.html

[maxanne]

1. It's past time

for this job description to be rewritten. It's disheartening that so many of my fellow DU'ers are so relentless in your attacks on Judith Dean. An attack on Dr. Judith Dean is essentially an attack on all women striving for equality. Thanks for perpetuating the opression of my gender.

[AP]

4. Nobody's saying she can't work.

They're asking why she isn't involved in Dean's political life at all.

If the cost of having a profession for a woman is that she's too busy to spend time with her husband, then we seriously have to rewrite whatever description of American society it is that makes professional life so time consuming that you can't take a day or two out to support your spouse in pursuing a dream.

However, this doesn't appear to be a situation where she wants to and can't. It looks like she just doesn't care.

[maxanne]

6. puhlease

"If the cost of having a profession for a woman is that she's too busy to spend time with her husband, then we seriously have to rewrite whatever description of American society it is that makes professional life so time consuming that you can't take a day or two out to support your spouse in pursuing a dream."

Spare me. What you're saying is that she should have a nice little job where she can make some pin money, and the rest of the time she should be strapping on the pearls and the apron and looking adoringly at Howard.

What I'd like to see, is for all supporters of candidates, regardless of who they support, stand up on their hind legs and bellow support for Dr. Judith Steinburg Dean. Bellow our collective disaproval of the stupid roles women have been stuck in - and our willingness to rewrite them.

Unfortunately, I know that dream won't materialize. After 3 years of posting here, I know how much sexism exists amongst those who call themselves liberals.

[AP]

11. Are you saying she can't take the time to help Dean because

they need the money? Because she'll lose the patients? Or because she doesn't care?

Do you think she wants to but can't?

I haven't formed an opinion about this, and I find it very interesting.

I just don't find it likely that this is a case of putting her career first which makes it impossible for her to be supportive of his. She's a professional 20 years into her career. She almost definitely has enough control over her time to fly out to Hawaii for her brother-in-law's repartriation.

[dsc]

17. Oh really, and you know this how?

I have no idea what she did or didn't have scheduled that day and I am pretty damn sure you don't either. For some odd reason people depend upon doctors to be there. This was a funeral for a man she never met. He had been assumed to be dead for literally dozens of years. I don't find it bizarre in the least that she chose to stay home instead of going.

[AP]

19. Judy's the boss of her office. She doesn't have the threat of being fired

if she doesn't take appointments ONE DAY.

Again, what's the argument for Judy not helping Dean?

I know we don't know the truth, but if you have to spin this in a light most favorable for Dean, how would you do it?

I don't see how it doesn't look like she just doesn't care that much.

[dsc]

21. Maybe she actually feels she should honor commitments

gee what a horrid woman.

[AP]

24. Committment to what? Filling every hour of her day with something

other than Howard?

Maybe you're on to something, but I need a little more.

[dsc]

30. Small town doctors are on call 24/7

and yes that is a commitment last I checked.

[AP]

32. Howard was her partner and he managed to be Lt Gov.

Don't think of this as me challenging you so much as me helping you work through spin that is logically coherent.

You may be getting closer to the good argument.

[dsc]

39. In Vermont not Iowa

It should be noted that he was seeing a patient when he became governor. One can be on call and an hour or so away without much problem. One can not be on call and several states away.

[LuminousX]

27. WTH do you care how Dr. Steinberg spends her time?

Thanks for your concern for the Dean campaign, but they are winning without your illustrious advice.

[AP]

33. We'll see about that.

It isn't over yet. In fact it hasn't even started.

[gauguin57]

46. getting real

Sure ... we DUers support Dr. Steinberg's right to stick to her medical practice and not follow Howard around like Laura follows George. WE support her right to maintain her practice if Dean gets into the White House. WE'RE willing to say their marriage is their business. But WE are already voting for the Democratic candidate. Much as we (and Dr. Steinberg) may not like it, a lot of the voting public is not going to accept a candidate whose spouse is completely invisible in the campaign. A lot of people got totally sick of Bill and Hill, and don't want to vote for anyone who's marriage smacks of "something weird." That's just politics.

A lot of people will not vote for someone unless they get a clearer picture of their character, which includes how they relate to their spouse and family. There will be people who wonder whether Dean is fit to be president if his wife won't even support him. Dean can lecture the electorate till he's blue in the face about his wife's right never to show her face on the campaign trail. But this is NOT the year for that lecture. And a lot of voters are going to be turned off by the lecture, anyway.

This may be the most important presidential election in America's history. Because if George gets four more years, we're not going to have a country for ANYONE to run -- no jobs, no economy, no environment, no health insurance, no patients in Judy Steinberg's waiting room. Whether or not Dean is the nominee this year, it's going to be a hard, nasty, uphill battle for the Democratic nominee.

Last night, on another thread, I was excoriated for suggesting it shouldn't be too much to ask for Judy to do a HANDFUL of photo ops, to throw those less-evolved voters a bone. Just take a DAY away from her practice now and then. I was accused of perpetuating the problem (of political spouses not being allowed to stick to their careers and ignore their political spouses' campaigns). Well, bitch at me all you want. But the fact remains that idealism about allowing a political spouse to go her own way is a luxury we CANNOT afford in THIS PARTICULAR election. It's too close, and it's too important. Dr. Steinberg could be the first First Spouse with a completely separate career (and be a kick-ass role model in the bargain). But she won't get to do ANYTHING of the KIND if Dean doesn't get elected. And he's not going to get elected ... no matter how much you guys want to live in some naive political fantasyland ... if she doesn't pitch in a little bit.

Four more years of Laura Freaking Bush is what's going to "perpetuate the problem!"

[AP]

48. The endorsements of the people who know you and love you are probably

the most important endorsement you can get.

Completely independant of the questions about career and feminism is the fact that it does not appear that Dean has the endorsement of his family.

61. sounds to me like

you already have made up your mind despite what you said here

"Do you think she wants to but can't?

I haven't formed an opinion about this, and I find it very interesting.

I just don't find it likely that this is a case of putting her career first which makes it impossible for her to be supportive of his. She's a professional 20 years into her career. She almost definitely has enough control over her time to fly out to Hawaii for her brother-in-law's repartriation."

[spooky3]

23. Please, AP, you and I are among the biggest Edwards fans here.

How do you think he and Elizabeth Edwards would feel about your comments?

Please rise above it.

[AP]

25. Tell me what you think I've gotten wrong.

I definitely think it's a good thing for a spouse not to have to give up their own dreams for the other's dreams. And I think she's entitled to her privacy.

But I don't think that's the issue here. Or at least I'm not sure it is.

It's definitely worth talking about.

[maxanne]

28. you're contradicting yourself

You're saying it's a good thing for a spouse not to have to give up their dreams for the other - and bashing Judith Steinberg for doing just that. You can't have it both ways. Or is it okay for everyone, save for Howard Dean's spouse, to not give up their dreams??

[AP]

34. I'm saying that I don't really see the incompatability of having your own

career and not being almost totally invisible while your spouse pursues a dream one would presume she supports.

I've also said repeatedly that I haven't yet figured out how I feel. Thus all the questions I'm asking.

[spooky3]

29. IMHO, that we should not be judging how they have worked out their lives

or expect them to conform to one particular mode of living and/or working or another. What if he feels happy and supported and she feels happy and supported?

What do you think the issue is?

[spooky3]

31. ps I'm tired and stressed so I'll read your answer tomorrow

going to try to get some sleep

[AP]

37. I heard...

...Elizabeth Edwards say that she wants everyone to see how Edwards is with his family and she wants people to know who she is because she thinks you can't know what Edwards is like without knowing about those relationships. She is so sure that he's right to be president that she wants people to see these things which thinks are evidence of how good he is.

Think of Bush. I'm sure his relationship with his daughters would provide very helpful insight into his character which some people might justifiably conclude would disqualify him as being worthy of the presidency. I also think Bush's relationship with Laura seems to be pretty good evidence of his not being fit for the presidency.

I'm not saying that Judy and Howard's relationship is like those rellationships, but I definitely think it is a symbol and a symbol which signifies a reality which is at least worth discussing.

I'm not sure that it signifies is some liberal ideal about husbands and wives should manage their lives. I'm sure someone way smarter than I am will do a smart reading of this. I haven't done it, but neither has anyone else here. I'd love to read it when it happens though.

[spooky3]

51. Do you have a link to Elizabeth's comments?

I think she would also say that the decisions she and John make for their family are their business, that she would not judge others, and that there are many ways of managing career and family that work for the people involved.

I think she would caution you that Democrats do not try to force women into narrow roles and judge them negatively if they don't fit them. That is sexist.

For my own part I would agree with these comments, and add this--that people's family life is not our business and not a good predictor of how they will do on the job. There were plenty of indicators Bush gave in his speeches and in his past administrative work that showed he was not going to be a good president. His family is irrelevant. Considering family leads to unfair discrimination. Candidates should be judged on their records. What if a candidate changes his/her life between the time you vote for him/her and the time s/he takes office, or during office? Does that render him/her any more or less qualified? And how about our current candidates--Kucinich and Mosely Braun are divorced and have not remarried. We would have no First Spouse with them. Does that render them unqualified?

[AP]

57. She said the opposite.

She says she wants to let America into her family's life because she thinks that's one of the best reasons to vote for him -- the way he is as a father and a husband,

I think (but am not sure) that she said it in a radio interview in NH on CSPAN and the link is available at the Edwards site in the video library, which is on the front page, bottom right.

As for not drawing narrow roles, I agree that there is a feminist angle to not forcing Judy to chose between the two. But I don't think that's what's going on here.

She is a wealthy professional who runs her own business. She has options others don't. It doesn't seem like she's being forced into a choice.

Also, Clinton said once that one of the things he wanted to change about America was that today people have to chose between being a good worker and a good parent. He didn't want to force people to make that choice. If Judy is going to be a symbol of the impossibility of being both a good worker and a member of a family, I'll say that I don't like that symbol. If she didn't have a choice, I'd criticize the system and not Judy. Becauase I'm almost sure she has a choice, I'm not going to criticize her, but I'm going to ask why, exactly, does she say she doesn't want to help Dean? Does she not like politics? Does she not agree with her husband's politics? Or does she really think she can't do both -- be a good worker and family member.

[bearfartinthewoods]

55. the interesting aspect in this, for me, is dean's decision

truthfully, i can't imagine myself, choosing a path that would put she-bear in a position like this. personal ambition is a personal choice so it's their business. i just can't immagine making that choice. he had to understand his wife's reluctance to be involved in his choice. the first lady does have responsibilities and that culture of hosting and being the country's "first lady" will be very difficult to change. she will be reviled in some qusrters.

it's just not something i would do if i were in his shoes.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

13. "Pin money" says it all.

The unmitigated gall is apalling. Perhaps it takes an issue like this to see the true colors of those posting here.

[AP]

16. Working is pin money for both Deans. They'll stand to inherit

more than they ever earn. They've already been gifted as much as they've earned, probably.

But that's besides the point.

What exactly is the argument for Judy S. not wanting to help Howard?

That's the part I'm not clear about.

[maxanne]

26. What I'm not clear about

is why you wish to cling to antiquated female stereotypes. Perhaps you could enlighten us?

[AP]

38. What stereotype might that be?

That a rich, professional woman 20 years into her career might have a few more options in terms of giving her husband perhaps the most valuable endorsement he could get...if she wanted to?

What stereotype do you think I'm perpetuating?

[Cheswick2.0]

12. It's not Dr Steinbergs fault Edwards is not doing well

No need to take it out on her.

[AP]

18. Edwards could disappear from face of earth today and it wouldn't make

Dean a great candidate.

[bearfartinthewoods]

56. Edwards numbers have tripled in the last ten days.

i'd say that constitutes "doing well" or at least better than stalling.

[eileen from OH]

40. Sweet Jeebus

We don't know what goes on in their marriage. We SHOULDN'T know what goes on in their marriage. It's private and gawd knows, with every other person in the limelight unburdening their souls, I find it an absolute fucking relief. Particularly, after Hilary and Bill. (I love 'em, but I was tres sick of all the national marriage counseling that went on.) It seems to be a good, solid partnership and both seem to be happy with it the way it is. To judge a marriage by what we see, sitting here typing away on our little computers, thousands of miles away, is totally, absolutely, unbelievably stoopid and NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.

eileen from OH

[AP]

41. True, but, generally, not good campaign strategy.

Even Bill and Hil let us into their lives. Voters generally want to know if the people closest to the candidate think the candidates is worthy of being president.

Who here DOESN"T think the Bush twins hate their father and that that's one of many good reasons to think him unfit to be president?

[eileen from OH]

43. How do we KNOW it's not good campaign strategy?

Could be there are a lot of people will find it a relief and refreshing. What in the world would Mrs/Dr. Steinberg/Dean have to say about her husband as President that would have any bearing on his "worthiness" to be President. You think she might diss him? The only reason to delve into their personal life is voyeurism.

And, unbelievable as it may be to you, I don't give a fried fart what the twins think of their father and it has nada, zero, negativo effect on my opinion of him as President. One of the reasons he's unfit to be President is because THE TWINS HATE HIM????? Tell me, please, that you are kidding. There's a lot of reason that fool isn't fit to run a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise, much less be President, but the opinion of his daughters ain't one of 'em.

eileen from OH

[AP]

44. Intuition.

I think there's definitely a feminist angle. But I think it works only on a very superficial level.

Dean is the boss. She's in mid-career. She make pretty good money. I think she's exercising her options, but I also think that you have to believe there's a dichotomy which doesn't really exist for the feminist angle to work.

Supporting her husband isn't something that jeopardizes or diminishes her career (as it may be for many other American women).

I think only the privacy angle makes sense. That's fair too. I don't know if I'd make that choice if I were her. But she's entitled to hers.

[eileen from OH]

45. See, I don't think there's a feminist angle at all

I think it's BEYOND feminism. In other words, what she is doing is exactly what the goals of feminism was all about. Being able to do what you want AND have a good solid marriage and it's no big fucking deal. Feminism was/is about struggling and fighting for equality and having a parity of opportunity and being treated as a person, not an appendage or "part" of a couple. But she isn't "struggling" with it at all. There's no "fight." It's just the way it is for them, which is what the goal of feminism was all along - having that kind of life and it's natural and easy and free.

eileen from OH

[LuminousX]

47. She is supporting her husband

Who is taking care of house and home?
Who is taking care of Paul?
Who is doing Dean's laundry?

What is your definition of support? You want her to go out and stump for him? She's not a politician, that isn't her skill set. I'm sure every one of her patients are fully aware of her husband. I'm sure they pillow talk over important issues and he counts on her to be a stable point in his life. She didn't choose politics. He did. She supports him by allowing him to do it, by arranging her life to make sure house and home are covered so he can jet off across the country.

Meanwhile, she still sees her patients.

Imagine the headlines if one of her patients had to be sent to the ER because she cancelled an appointment to go to Iowa. What would that say about her?

This is a complete non-issue.

[AP]

49. Dean's telling people "you've got the power."

Is his wife listening? Is this what he means? Stay home, take care of the house, put your profession first?

Edwards says, 'together we can succeed' and it looks like his whole family is taking that message to heart and working together.

[aquart]

2. So what's the problem? We might lose an unpaid slave?

Please recall that Hillary was not allowed the protection of the White House counsel, because she was not an employee.

What advantage is there to being First Lady, exactly? What wonderful things is Laura doing to benefit America, that we can't bear to be without?

Hillary had to give up being a lawyer. Laura continues being a lump. What reason can this nation offer a doctor to stop her useful career and act as a tour guide for visiting dignitaries?

[GainesT1958]

10. Who said Dr. Steinberg-Dean would have to "give up" being an M.D.?

For ANY reason? Wouldn't it be great for an active, seen First Lady to be seen doing her job as a practicing Physician? I, for one, sure think it would. WHat a "role-model" example she could set in that situation, evne being naturally shy and retiring. SHe wouldn't have to have daily press conferences, folks; she could use the platform as a national example to further health care reform in a way that, quite frankly, Hillary could not. Even if shyness is her nature--and she certainly has that right--the "office" of First Lady requires someone who's at least SEEN! Better to deal with this one early on, Dean supporters, than face tough, un-answerable--and potentially crippling--questions about it later.

B-)

[AP]

14. I don't think Hil "HAD" to give up private practice. I think she wanted to

She obviously was closer to doing the things she loved by being involved in public policy. It had to be ware more rewarding that being a partner in a Little Rock law firm.

[killbotfactory]

3. Joe's wife is awesome!

And his family is not ashamed to be seen with him.

[billbuckhead]

5. No offense, but Joe looks like one of the "dreaded" Ferrenghi

I voted for him once and that was enough.

[robbedvoter]

9. Ferengi? ha!ha! I was more into Palpatine/the Emperor

Also, where is pen and why is teller talking.
Is this an universal DU joke I am not getting? The Lieberman conversions? :shrug:

[killbotfactory]

20. Clark looks like the Heaven's Gate cult leader

All aboard the Hale-Bop express!

[dsc]

7. If Carol Moseley Braun had a sucessful doctor husband

we wouldn't be hearing squat. I know it, you know it, and everyone on this forum knows it. You can't get more sexist than that. Quick what did Patricia Shroder's husband do?

[GainesT1958]

8. The media are going to crucify both of them on this issue...

If Dr. Dean is the nominee. She cannot be "absent" from the role of First Lady of the United States; the American people won't accept that--that's just a FACT, folks!

And not to even MENTION her? That's just plain STRANGE---it's as if she doesn't matter. None of our darned business, you say? I don't think so--not if you want to be President of the United States. Their kids being "off-limits"...I understand, and agree with, that one; privacy in your life within your family is not just important, it's vital--to have that privacy as YOU see fit; not others. But your own WIFE? That's a situation that looks wierd to say the least--and would be unprecedented in modern times. Do you think Dean would be allowed to go on without being asked to explain it? NO WAY! It won't just be a liability to him in the eyes of ordinary Americans, it'll be a millstone around his neck; count on it.

B-)

[JaneQPublic]

15. With the Clintons, it was "buy one and get one for free"...

...and Hillary got blasted for being an uppity b!tch tring to run things when no one elected her.

Now we have another kind of professional woman who may be the first lady who doesn't want a cotton-pickin' thing to do with politics, and you say she's going to ge blasted for NOT getting involved?

So, what are you saying? That the country can't handle a smart, professional woman as first lady? That the country wants only Stepford Wives as their first lady?

I don't think so. Dr. Steinberg Dean would be a great role model for women. and just remember, even today, Hillary is admired by more Americans than Pickles.

They got used to Poppy Bush having wife who looked old enough to be his mother and they'll get used to Dean having a wife who saves lives for a living.

[AP]

22. Perhaps a spouse like Judy is a rarity because people who don't get the

enthusiastic support of the people who know them best have a hard time getting elected.

Maybe there have been Judys in the past, but they were married to the losers.

[JaneQPublic]

35. Dr. Steinberg can enthusiastically support her husband without...

...giving up her career to do it.

Dean seems to be doing just fine without having his wife standing behind him, peforming the stone-faced Pat Nixon role -- a job for which she is abundantly overqualified.

[LuminousX]

36. Again, thanks for the concern for the Dean campaign

But I'm sure they will gladly win and lose by their own strategy. If they lose because America can't stand Judith having her own profession (Dr. Dean should take some time off campaigning to support his wife, the bastard) then we need to overhaul this society.

[AP]

42. Your welcome. All I want is a Dem president in 2005.

[maxanne]

50. yes,

and June Cleaver standing by her man.

You wouldn't be suggesting that a female candidate's husband stand by looking at her adoringly - a la Nancy Reagan. Of course, you'd probably be slamming the female candidate, based on your performance here.

Elizabeth Edwards is a smart, funny woman. I was fortunate enough to spend a few hours with her, when she came to my area. I think she'd be horrified by your attempts to smear a candidate, using his family as the tool. My impression of EE was that she believes strongly in women's equality and supporting women's choices. She may choose a different role in her husband's campaign - but she'd be supportive of another woman's choices.

[spooky3]

52. I agree.

[AP]

59. see post 57

[markburgess]

54. I have never understood the focus on a candidates spouse.

They are not the one one who is running for office. It all seems so tabloid gossip oriented.

[AP]

60. The endorsement of people who know you best is important.

Please tell me with a straight face that Bush's relationship with his daughters and wife doesn't play a part in the way you form his character in your mind.

[spooky3]

53. JS Dean, the cookie baker (People mag upcoming article)

This was in today's print edition of the WPost (couldn't find it online), p. C3. Thought it might amuse some of you:

"Judith Steinberg Dean, the physician wife of some candidae named Howard, passes the all-important cookie-baking test for potential first ladies. In a rare interview in the Jan. 26 issue of People magazine, she reveals that she calls her hubby "Howie" and that she recently made a batch of chocolate chip cookies for his staff. 'One of my very few contributions,' says Judy, a stalwart no-show during Dean's Democratic primary campaign."

[KaraokeKarlton]

58. She doesn't have time to campaign for him

She's got a medical practice, probably hospital rounds to make seeing her patients who are there, PTA meetings, hockey games and practice (it's hockey season for her son...captain of the team), Paul is a full time student, she has a home to clean, meals to cook, and she hardly has the time to go around quelling the curiosity of voters. She's got things to do and people should leave her to it.