|
Submitted this as an article to DU last week, but it didn't run. Just wanted to share it with everyone. My point is actually a serious one: just how dumbed down does a candidate's message have to be before the average Republican or undecided voter can grasp it? Any thoughts?
Jeff Rosenzweig
_________
If Kerry Spoke Dubyese
John Kerry’s supposed inability to connect to the average American prompted a little discussion in our home the other night. My wife soon hit on an ingenious realization. John Kerry is speaking the wrong language. No, not French. English.
George W. Bush is a straight talker, we’re always hearing on cable news. People respond to him because he expresses himself in the plain words of a down-home, aw-shucks, regular kind of guy.
Talking this idea a step further, I’ve pulled some Kerry quotes from www.johnkerry.com and translated them for the benefit of those who prefer Bushspeak to English. Herewith, John Kerry in Dubyese:
From a speech at New York University, September 20, 2004:
Kerry: “This election is about choices. The most important choices a President makes are about protecting America… at home and around the world. A president’s first obligation is to make America safer, stronger and truer to our ideals.”
Translation: “Ya gotta choose. It’s, uh… um… it’s important to choose. President’s gotta choose. Gotta protect America, keep the Homeland safe. That’s my choosery. The Homeland.”
Kerry: “Only a few blocks from here, three years ago, the events of September 11 reminded every American of that obligation. That day brought to our shores the defining struggle of our times: the struggle between freedom and radical fundamentalism. And it made clear that our most important task is to fight… and to win… the war on terrorism.”
Translation: “September 11. It was bad. The evildoers, the suiciders, hate us ‘cause we’re free. So we gotta fight, gotta go to war. This is, uh… it’s a war. A war against an evil buncha folks. We, um… gotta win. It’s a war. And I’m gonna be a war President.”
Kerry: “Saddam Hussein was a brutal dictator who deserves his own special place in hell. But that was not, in itself, a reason to go to war. The satisfaction we take in his downfall does not hide this fact: we have traded a dictator for a chaos that has left America less secure.”
Translation: “Saddam Hussein was an evil, evil man. Gassed his own people. Used weapons of mass destruction. Evil man. Hated us ‘cause we’re free. But Iraq is uh, not, um… not fixed up yet. That’s a threat. A grave and gathering threat. And that’s bad for the Homeland. As bad as September 11.”
Kerry: “This President was in denial. He hitched his wagon to the ideologues who surround him, filtering out those who disagreed, including leaders of his own party and the uniformed military. The result is a long litany of misjudgments with terrible consequences.”
Translation: “This President… just not credible. Can’t be Commander in Chief if you’re, uh… don’t have crediblosity. Folks around him… bad folks, steered him wrong. Didn’t listen to his good folks, folks who work hard, work hard to be good. It was just bad strategery.”
Kerry: “The administration told us we’d be greeted as liberators. They were wrong.”
Translation: “Said there’d be flowers. Weren’t any flowers.”
Kerry: “They told us not to worry about looting or the sorry state of Iraq’s infrastructure. They were wrong.”
Translation: “Said everything in Iraq would work. Power and uh… utilities, internets, that stuff. Nuh-uh.”
Kerry: “They told us we had enough troops to provide security and stability, defeat the insurgents, guard the borders and secure the arms depots. They were wrong.”
Translation: “Said he had enough soldiers. To keep things safe, stop the evildoers, the suiciders. Nope.”
Kerry: “They told us we could rely on exiles like Ahmed Chalabi to build political legitimacy. They were wrong.”
Translation: “Said Mr. Chab – uh, Mr. Bob – um… Mr. Wasabi would help out. Turns out he was an evil, evil man. Probly woulda gassed his own people.”
Kerry: “They told us we would quickly restore an Iraqi civil service to run the country and a police force and army to secure it. They were wrong.”
Translation: “Said he’d get some civilized, um… servile civics in there. Police, army, folks like that, with uniforms. Didn’t do it.”
Kerry: “In Iraq, this administration has consistently over-promised and under-performed. This policy has been plagued by a lack of planning, an absence of candor, arrogance and outright incompetence. And the President has held no one accountable, including himself.”
Translation: “President said he’d be a reformer with results. Uniter, not a divider. But he didn’t work hard. It’s hard work. President has to work, real hard. Didn’t work hard on the planning. Misunderestimated it. Planning’s hard work. Hasn’t been honest. Flip-flopped. Can’t do that when you’re Commander in Chief. Have to work hard. Have to be accountable, have some accountabilitude to the Homeland. ‘Cause of September 11.”
From a speech on “Protecting America’s Seniors”, September 14, 2004:
Kerry: “Health care costs are so high, they’re cutting right into the cost of living adjustment you get from Social Security. But George W. Bush doesn’t just want to eat away at your Social Security paycheck – he wants to privatize the whole program and cut your benefits.”
Translation: “Health care. Too expensive. Social Security. Not enough. President wants to privatisize it, stiff the Murcan people. Can’t stiff the people when you’re the Commander in Chief.”
Kerry: “On everything from prescription drugs to retirement security to Medicare and Social Security, George W. Bush has made the wrong choices and seniors are paying the price. He’s driving them right out of the middle class.”
Translation: “Senior folks, older folks, they’re not getting any younger. He’s trying to confuse old folks, take advantage of their seniorness. Kick ‘em out of the middle class. ‘Cause he hates their freedoms.”
From a statement on the September Employment Report, October 8, 2004:
Kerry: “The President does not seem to understand how many middle class families are being squeezed by falling incomes, and spiraling health care, tuition and energy costs. His version of economic success seems to be an economy that loses 1.6 million private sector jobs instead of losing 2.6 million private sector jobs. My version of economic success is a strong economy that strengthens and expands the middle class. He believes this is the best America can do. I believe America can and will do better.”
Translation: “My opponent, he just dun get it. Health is expensive, too expensive. Same for school and keepin’ your home warm, puttin’ food on your family. Thinks bad is good. That’s bad. I have a strategery. ‘Cause I’m, uh… optimistical. Can’t be pessimistical if you’re the Commander in Chief.”
From a speech on “A New Choice for Middle Class Families”, October 2, 2004:
Kerry: “We already know what four more years of a Bush administration will look like. Every choice they’ve made has been to give more to those with the most, while telling everyone else you’re on your own. That’s their view and that’s their plan for the next four years.”
Translation: “They’re evildoers, evil folks. Can’t be an evildoer when you’re Commander in Chief.”
Kerry: ”One month from today, the American Dream is on the ballot.“
Translation: “Vote – let me finish! Vote for me or you’re gonna die.”
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
