Election Eve Thoughts (brought to you by Eminem's "Mosh")

Plaid Adder

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Mon Nov-01-04 08:45 PM
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Election Eve Thoughts (brought to you by Eminem's "Mosh")

I just watched "Mosh" again to give me courage for the drive home. It helped me crystallize something that I have been thinking about ever since I saw a DNC ad aimed at African-American voters. In that ad, a group of predominantly African-American men slowly gather together on a walk through the streets until they arrive at the gates of a building and confront some uniformed officers who say, "Whoa, whoa, what's the problem?" The leader of the crowd says, "There's no problem. We're here to VOTE." Everyone in the crowd puts a hand up carrying a voter registration card.

Eminem's "Mosh" is more overtly radical, borrowing anarchist iconography to turn the crowd into something more menacing, outfitting them in a quasi-uniform and loading the visuals with suggestions of confrontation in the making. Still, at the end of the video, after the black-hooded army has turned the hoses on the police, stormed the column-porticoed building that they were guarding, and formed arms-locked lines to prevent the riot police from closing off access again, what does the mob do? They get into an orderly line and wait for their chance to vote.

Initially I looked at this and thought, well, that's kind of a leap; the whole video seems to be leading up to insurrection and then instead the climax is this very ordinary, boring, peaceful exercise of the franchise. Did they end it this way just to avoid getting busted or censored under the PATRIOT Act? But then I thought of that DNC commercial and I found a different way to read it that I like better.

In spite of himself, but as a direct result of his presidency, George W. Bush and his cabal have transformed voting from a boring civic duty into an act of revolution. And now, all of a sudden, people who never thought voting made a difference are lining up ready to fight anyone who tries to stop them.

How has he managed to conquer voter apathy and the malaise that set in after the two parties started growing toward the center? By proving that he and his gang are willing to do *anything* they can get away with to stop people from voting against him. That's where all the imagery comes from in both those pieces: the locked gates protected by uniformed guards versus a crowd of African-American, urban, not-the-mainstream voters who, despite their non-violent intent, nevertheless know perfectly well that they really do threaten the powers that be just by turning up at the polls. Voting is no longer something you only do if you have the time, or something you can skip for one cycle and get back to next time, or something you can leave to people who care about that bullshit. Voting, for all the people who are going to be 'challenged' or lied to or intimidated by the Republican dirty tricksters who are working the battleground states, is now difficult, it's dangerous, it's a test of your courage and perseverance and your commitment to your country. And Americans, if the early turnout figures are any indications, are meeting the challenge.

By showing just how frightened they are of voter turnout, Bush and his gang have made voting matter again. They've made people realize that in fact, voting *can* change something important. By actively trying to stop their own citizens from voting, the Bush crowd has sent the clear message that voting *is* powerful. It's the one weapon they're afraid of, the one thing they're running from. It is, or it can be, anyway, the revolution.

Most of the time I'm confident about how things will go tomorrow. Sometimes I feel extremely nervous. Perhaps tomorrow night I will be in agony, perhaps I will be weeping with joy, perhaps I will be grinding my teeth knowing there is going to be another weeks-long knock-down drag-out. But one thing I know for sure. My life, my identity, and my view of the world have been fundamentally transformed by Bush's presidency. And although Bush's presidency, itself, has been pure evil, I think that I am a better person because of it.

I know more now about what I believe. I know what matters to me. I know what I'm willing to fight for. I emerge from these four years (please God only four) with stronger convictions about right and wrong, good and evil. I have a greater commitment to the truth and a more intense desire to do what I can to make light in this darkness. I am a better activist. I am about 200,000 times better informed about politics than I have ever been in my entire life. I am even a better writer. I can say now that I love my country and know that it doesn't mean I have capitulated to the belligerent ignorance that has been masquerading as 'patriotism' under this administration. I can say now that I love my country but I miss the world and want it back. I can say that no matter what happens on Tuesday, I will not shut up, I will not back down, and I will not surrender my mind, heart, and conscience to the state just because everyone else is doing it.

I can say those things because I have already been doing them. I am not brave, I am not a hero, and I still do not know what would happen if I was ever asked to make the ultimate sacrifice. But one thing I can be proud of is that I never stopped telling what I thought was the truth. And I have gotten more and more willing to do it as I spend more time living under Bush's presidency.

At the end of "The Immoderator," the little introject me talks about all the terrible things that have happened to her after living through four years of this hell. All those things are true. But so are all the things I talked about up above. It's up to us to decide which half of that legacy is going to drive us.

Win or lose, we can at least say that we are going to wring good out of evil, and take the best lessons that Bush has taught us with us into the future: Trying to live without risk comes at too high a price. We belong to the world and not just to our country. Lies kill. Greed kills. Incompetence kills. Substance matters more than surface, no matter what the media tell you. There is a reality beyond perception, and you disrespect it at your peril. And, right now perhaps the most important one to remember: we cannot let fear of uncertainty persuade us to relinquish our right to choose our own leaders. Even just one really corrupt administration can do a hell of a lot of damage.

You fight with the skills you have. I would be a disaster on the battlefield and there are a lot of other things I'm no good at. I can do two things well: write, and teach. Since 2000 I have been learning to make those skills matter more. It would be ridiculous to claim that I have, by myself, changed anything. But I hope that I have been one tiny part of what I hope will soon be the long slow victory over this dark time.

I'm going to get up tomorrow and vote. I don't live in a swing state and in absolute terms my vote will change nothing. I don't care. I have lived through four years of shit I never thought I would see and now I am part of the revolution. Give me the ballot. I'm ready.

Let's go blue,

The Plaid Adder