Random Musings From A Liberal Trying To Decide Where He Sits Now - CAREFUL

[matcom]

I write this not to entice flames, not to sway, not to bitch, but for my own "closure". NO OTHER REASONS so take this anyway you wish. This is MY therapy. These are MY feelings right now. Read them or don't. Agree or spite me. YOUR CALL.

Here I sit. I am trying to figure out where I am with myself now. I, as of this posting, do not know. Probably doesn't matter much.

For some reason, I am not angry. I can't say I'm desperately sad either. I really don't know what to feel. But, I have come to some short term conclusions.

The 'Murican public gets what it deserves. Yup, you heard me right. WHATEVER it gets now, it deserves. DRAFT? They deserve it. POVERTY? They voted for it (unless they can find a way to find nourishment in their Bibles). More war? They want it. An end to Civil Liberties? They never cared about them before. Whatever happens, they can enjoy it. "Suck it up!", I'll say.

For the last 4 years, I, along with all of my friends here have traveled, marched, screamed, phoned, emailed, written, begged, pleaded, educated, payed for, read and watched. I, and YOU, have passionately tried to make history, nay CHANGE history. We have tried to right the wrong that is the media, the government and an apathetic public. I spent a couple of hours today apologizing to my gay friends at work, all of the women (and their children) and every minority I know. "I am sorry I couldn't do more", I told them. To a man/woman, they gave me a hug and said, "Thank you for all that you did."

Its helpful but.....

To all of you who are crying foul over this election with BBV, uncounted ballots, etc.... all I can say is for ME, it doesn't matter. Fact is that not only will it NOT change the outcome, I don't care. NONE of that would have happened if this wasn't even close. Guess what? It WAS that close. If it turns out when I die that I discover that only 45% of the 'Murican people voted for this Nazi then that is 45% of my country who should never be able to procreate. They all get what ever ends up happening to them.

Today, I tore my DNC member card up and discarded it like a soiled tissue. It actually felt pretty good. Yes, I am still a Democrat but for the moment, on paper only. I am a Liberal who cares so much for others, and their environment and their well-being. If my brothers and sisters are better off then so am I. If THEY have clean air and water, and green fields then so do I. Their good life is MY good life. Right now I don't feel that the Democratic Party is MY Democratic Party (hear this Tom Daschle: EXCEPT FOR THE BALANCE IN THE CONGRESS, I AM GLAD YOU LOST. You deserved it. Enjoy your forced retirement.) I will NEVER blindly follow a DINO again. Not even if he/she can win. I am the most DANGEROUS kind of Liberal now. One that will forever vote HIS CONSCIENCE!

If I can remember ONE event this past 4 years and ONLY one, I will forever remember our travels south to D.C. - October, 2002. We knew we were months away from certain war with Iraq. As we DUers turned onto the BW Parkway heading for the city and our hotel, the call came in. Paul Wellstone was dead. Phones went off and radios were tuned into the news. The last GREAT TRUE LIBERAL was dead. We hugged, drank and prepared to march on our Capital for what was good. What was right. 200,000+ did that the next day. GOD the people were AMAZING! The march went on FOREVER. That day, we marched for Paul. We marched for children. We marched for FREEDOM! Paul was with us that day. We could FEEL him.

Oh, what a great day.

Paul was proud of us that day.

I do not know where tomorrow will take me. I do not know when i'll be able to watch the "news" (what a f*cking joke) again. I do not know when I will really care again. I can't change anything (really) and now that I realize that, I'll go back to getting a better job, reading, maybe take up a hobby that is not politics (for a while).

I'm not leaving friends. You are all too special to me to do that but I think my marching days are over for at least a few months. I will sit back and take care of my friends and family (this means YOU) and let whatever happens, happen. IF someone bitches to me about ANYTHING, I'll ask who they voted for. Nay, I don't think I'll ask because even if they voted for Kerry, they probably STILL deserve it. My guess is they were NOT in this fight. Not like me. Not like you. They want it? Hell. They got it. "Suck it up."

Look for me in the Lounge for a while. I have more stupid shit to post that involves Yaks and Sex. Get there quickly though. I have a tendency to have posts locked ;) It will be some time before I can get back into this like before.

Maybe I will.

Maybe not.

The PEACE sign tattoo on my back is permanent. Much like my rabid Liberalism.

Thank you for letting me vent. Sorry to have taken your time.

PEACE

[AuntPatsy]

1. Thank you for sharing, and I am sure many feel the same as you..

but don't forget, all wounds heal, it just takes time...vent all you need...

[DrWeird]

2. Agreed.

So what now?

[matcom]

3. scotch

dinner with my lovely wife. a good book. put on some Motzart. ride a bike.

smell the fall leaves. pet the dog. enjoy life for a while. a hot cup of coffee on a lovely November day.

whatever happens will happen.

[SomthingsGotaGive]

25. What percentage of the vote for Bush...

Would have you resisting the comforts of life to engage in the Honorable fight you have abandoned the rest of us in.

Bush lost.

We WON.

They want you to give up and enjoy the comfortable life while they continue to murder, rape, and pillage in your name.

Shit, they're asking themselves what took you so long.


I've read your posts for a long time.

Would Dadcom be proud of his son now wallowing in his self pity.

[matcom]

35. fuck you

fuck you and the fucking horse you rode in on.

HOW FUCKING DARE you even use a REFERENCE TO MY FATHER

self pity?

FUCK YOU

what the fuck have you EVER done here? (mister 96 posts?)

you march?

you write?

you call?

you fucking asshole. come over to my place and say what you just did.

[SomthingsGotaGive]

38. Then why give up when the rest of us haven't that fought with you?

The fight is not over.

The election is not lost.

Thew war in Iraq is not over.

The world is no safer.

And we need you.

Turn that rage against the people who just stole all our hard work.

not Mr. 96 posts.

[Xipe Totec]

42. Don't Quit

I think I'll follow your suggestion, disengage for a while, and recharge my emotional batteries. It is a great plan.

I'm also going to go back and re-read the books that inspired me to become a passionate Liberal:

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
Don Quixote - Cervantes Saavedra
The Glass Teat - Harlan Ellison
1984 & Animal Farm - Orwell

As I read your original post it reminded me of my favorite quotes in "To Kill A Mockingbird":

It was times like these when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was the bravest man who ever lived. ~Chapter 11

They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions... but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. ~Atticus, Chapter 11

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. ~Atticus, Chapter 11

And then I thought of Kipling's poem "Don't Quit":

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you are trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and debts are high,
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

[matcom]

4. guess i should have used "FUCK" in my title

:kick:

[Mick Knox]

5. Thats a good post matcom

Good luck with whatever you decide, which i am sure will be the right thing - I dont know for sure what the right thing is, but we'll figure it out.

[patdem]

6. matcom I have watched your posts..and your activism since day one

that I came in here... and have been very impressed. I am guilty of not doing enough. I truly believed Kerry was a shoe in? How could a failed president get another term? Oh, yes,,,BBV...I did not do enough for sure. I let others fight my fight..and I have gotten what I deserve. I do not want to admit this...but I must.

Now I cannot think brains will prevail. Some presidential candidate when confronted with this statement "Sir, all thinking people are behind you" replied "Well, madam that is just fine but it is not enough..I need a plurality"...

[Amaya]

7. Thank you, Matt

I feel the same. don't know what else to say? guess there isn't much else at this point... :hug:

[Blue_Roses]

8. sums up pretty much

how I feel too. I haven't turned the news on in 2 days and don't plan to. This is sweeps month too, so I hope their ratings drop like a rock. It does feel weird ---kind of like a breakup with a bad relationship--freeing, but still a void. So, like you, to fill that void, I will spend more time with family, make some curtains (well, maybe not) exercise more and like you, if I hear Bush bitching, I will say too fucking bad...and as we both know, there WILL be a lot of Bush bitching--bitching like never before--when these idiots of fear and prejudice see what they put back in the WH.

[nomaco-10]

9. I will never ever vote again for a candidate that I had to ......

go into the voting booth holding my nose. I'll stay home or vote for a third party candidate no matter what the outcome. I was very conflicted about voting for Kerry, but decided as the election drew closer that the stakes were too high. I knew SCOTUS justices were going to be appointed and I felt I had to.
The dem party needs to completely revamp it's future campaigns; the message, the strategists, the media consultants and most importantly, the candidate. We need a representative of this party that can carry our message to the people and who actually believes it.

[tedoll78]

10. Nice post.

I am feeling especially vengeful these days. I wouldn't mind seeing round-after-round of massive layoff announcements in the Blood States.

And if there's a draft, tough titty. Have fun in the sand.

When new layoffs are announced in Ohio, I won't even not feel pity - I'll do a little celebratory jig. Let them deconstruct and consume their church pews.

When a GOP voter loses his home, GOOD. Let him go live at the shelter downto- wait. That shelter has been shut-down for lack of funding. Nevermind. Let him go live under the overpass.

If some hateful GOP voter drowns in his own pleural fluids after the hospital refuses to admit him for lack of insurance, I will feel much less pity.

If they suddenly realize that their hunting lands are being shredded by developers, and they can't go deer huntin'.. too bad. Perhaps they should spend more time going after mercury-filled fish instead.

If countries one-by-one turn their backs on us, refusing to share security intelligence or contribute to our war efforts, I would certainly understand. We've turned our backs on them already.

If someone's child is born with a horrible disorder that might've been treated with stem cell research results, I'll consider it a karmic bitch-slap.

If Roe is overturned and some GOP women die in back allies during their "procedures," I will feel no pain for them. They will have supported the policies and events leading to their own deaths.

And if Blue America is attacked once more by terrorists, I will cry like a baby for them. They're the ones who truly live under the spectre of terror. Blue America voted for the candidate promoting an INTELLIGENT security strategy, but Red America - in all of its infinite fuckin' wisdom - thinks it knows better about protecting cities and high-profile targets. So, of course, they're more than willing to put Blue America's collective neck on the line for their own stupidity.

And Lord knows that they have TONS of firsthand knowledge on how to protect th' honkeytonk bar out on the ol' highway.
Lord knows they have tons of experience guarding the town's Wal-Mart from A-Q.
Lord knows they know alllllll about protecting the abandoned gin mill.
Goddamn retards. :eyes:

There. I said it.

Normally, I would feel great shame in expressing these thoughts. But this is the 'Fighting and Acrimony' Forum. And as others have said, this bleeding heart is bled dry. The American people, on the whole, deserve what is coming to them. I only feel sorry for the innocent bystanders who did nothing to cause this. Thank YOU for letting me vent back. It was quite cathartic.

[Bluebear]

11. All I can say is come join Matcom and me in beautiful New England

Be with your own kind. Swell our electoral college strength. The lobster's cheaper and we have a fine baseball team. And football team. And we're blue.

[matcom]

12. got that right

although, its about to snow :scared:

[Bluebear]

13. We got shovels. Let's find a friendly isle to vacation.

Certainly there is some Blue island in the Caribbean.

[Robeson]

15. I think a lot of people are thinking about joining everyone in the...

...blue states. I live in the South, right in the belly of the beast. We've lived here all our lives. Today, we started to finally take a serious look at relocating. Frankly, battle lines haven't been drawn like this since the Civil War, where the pro-unionist had to flee the South to go North. I hope you guys don't mind some like minded refugees.

[ignatius 2]

23. I am from Indiana and I am so ashamed of my state. Not only did

these fools vote 62/38 Bush, but they voted in Mitch Daniels, who helped bankrupt our country. I have been thinking all day how wonderful it would be to live in a blue state where other like minded people live. How sad is it that these dirty rotten bastards have so intentionally divided this country for their own power trip?

I still cannot believe that 51% of Americans,despite the crappy economy,the needless war,the thousands of deaths and the billion spents in Iraq that could have been spent in this country for education,health care,hell food for the hungry..that despite all that they still voted for the AWOL privileged son..

Those 51% really can't give a good goddamn about their country..it is all about tax cuts and hate..hate for gays.blacks,brown people and the poor who obviously have not pulled themselves up by those bootstraps..morals is a codeword for hate and bigotry in much of this coutry

[kitkatrose]

41. Damn, and I thought my state was bad.

TN 57-43 for Bush. Idiots. :grr:

[knight_of_the_star]

28. No problem

Just if you move out here to SoCal PLEASE don't encourage the developers, buy an old house/condo/apartment/whatever.

[Robeson]

14. You've nicely stated my thoughts, too...

Peace

[ethereal]

19. Thank you, Matcom

I always stop to read your posts, and I appreciate your take on what is going on.


I agree. We've explained to those who just won't listen until we're blue in the face. We've shown them facts. We've shown them graphs. They refuse to hear.


So, when the inevitable happens to this country, they will be shocked. They will cry. They will say, "Why didn't you tell us?"


Oh, but we did. We will be prepared for what is coming, and they will not. Take care, enjoy your life, but don't leave as DU miss your insights.

[lark]

32. Vengenance on Southerners

I live in Fl. and can't wait payback to begin. The stupid rednecks here deserve every horrible thing that happens to them when all their jobs are outsourced, their pay cut due to no OT, and their sons killed in one of the many pointless wars Shrubbie has planned so he can continue to be a war president. Can't wait to laugh in the face of their tears and say "told you so"- fool!!

I hate being stuck here in the South, but my dad has cancer and I need to stay and help my family. When this plays itself out, I am so OOH. I hate these ignoramouses. I hate that the most wonderful ideal in the world, a caring democracy, has been totally shredded by their stinking BBV machines with the complicity of the major networks.

lark

[liberalhistorian]

34. No, they won't say that,

they'll naturally blame US-Dems, "libruls", "feminazis", etc., etc., and, of course, Clinton. Everything's always our fault to these people.

And I feel the exact same way Matt does right now. I know I'll probably feel differently in a few weeks or months, but right now, FUCK THEM ALL. I've been fighting since Raygun was first elected when I was fifteen, and I'm TIRED. Tired, tired, tired. Tired of stupid, clueless, idiotic, dumbass fuckups who vote for their own Armageddon and then blame Klintoon, "libruls" and everyone else except the truly guilty party when things come crashing down. I just can't take anymore right now, FUCK THEM ALL. They have ruined this country for my son's future, if he'll even have a future, so FUCK THEM ALL. It's Sinclair Lewis's "It Can't Happen Here" (about a fascist who was elected with the help of Christian evangelicals), albeit 70 years later. I'm already hearing whining from Shrubbie voters I know about his "mandate" speech today, and the push from Dobson and conservative senators, whining about "I didn't vote for that" and similar shit. Well, just WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY THINK THEY WERE VOTING FOR, THE STUPID FUCKING MORANS????????

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Nicely said, MATCOM!

I feel much in the same way - I'm tired, feeling somewhat burned out, and thinking to myself "if there are that many people who are that goddamn stupid, who want to live and wallow in their own poverty-born and military-state-bred filth just so that some minority or some gay person or women don't have rights, then fuck 'em. Let 'em wallow in their filth."

I'm really, really disppointed in the people of this country. I knew we had a lot of useless shithead morons, but I didn't think we had that many.

[ET Awful]

17. Well said Matt, and it echoes my feelings very closely.

Maybe it's a Mass thing? :)

[mike_c]

18. good on 'ya, Matt....

Excellent post. I came to many of those same decisions after the 2000 election and the 2002 follow up drubbing. I joined the Green Party. Now I get to smile-- just a little-- whenever I read comments by centrists who castigate the left for "influencing" the democratic party. I'm one leftist who's working to influence another party altogether, but if the democratic party ever wants to talk about opposing the war, putting the environment and real people's needs before corporate profits, not losing any sleep over whether some dude falls in love with another dude, and so on, then I'm still here.

Personally, I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. What the dems (and greens) REALLY need to do is begin educating people from the grass roots up in order to bind the vast center to the many leftist concerns that they agree with, much as the republicans have done with whole the moral values thing, hypocritical as it might be. I think the greens understand this. That process takes time, and I suspect that the dem party leadership and their corporate sponsors will lurch further to the right in search of immediate electoral gratification-- further abandoning their base and becoming more like the republicans in the process-- before they get the clue, if they ever do.

:kick:

[Stew225]

20. From your heart and soul it resonates well with

mine. Thank you for your perhaps unintended empathy.

[ulysses]

21. careful, Matt.

I am the most DANGEROUS kind of Liberal now. One that will forever vote HIS CONSCIENCE!

That kind of talk will get you labeled a "purist" by some of the finer centrists here, if they can take a break long enough from deciding what principles we should ditch next.

[jus_the_facts]

22. ...feelin' your pain......

:hug:

:loveya:

[DaveinMD]

24. a bunch of sanctimonious horseshit

You leave the party because we lose an election? Yeah, that will make beating the christian coalition easier.

[matcom]

26. rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttt

i so PROFOUNDLY said i was leaving the party!

rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttt

nice try. :eyes:

[knight_of_the_star]

29. Read his post again

I don't think he suggested that.

[Elidor]

27. "If my brothers and sisters are better off then so am I"

Shades of Eugene V. Debs! I love you, Matcom. Peace.

[knight_of_the_star]

30. Thanks Matcom

To be honest most of my spirit for activism aside from protesting went out of me when I bawled my eyes out over Wes Clark dropping out. After that moment I can't really feel any grief, he got me worked up like no other candidate did.

[Nevernose]

31. Are you in stage 5 or stage 7?

(1) Shock or Disbelief that the loss has occured. (2) Denial is the stage in which the person refuses to accept the loss has occured. (3) In the Bargaining stage, the person attempts to reconcile the loss by making deals with other people, sometimes also with Diety. (4) Guilt is marked by statements of "if only I had done/been . . . ". (5) Anger is a natural stage everyone must pass. Anger may be directed toward the loss, the person lost, or even Diety. (6) Depression is a stage that comes and goes throughout the grief process. Resignation at the end of the depression indicates that the truth of the loss has been accepted and the person is ready to move on. (7) Acceptance and Hope means that you understand your life will never be the same but it will go on with meaning and hope.

[Sugarbleus]

33. I echo many of your sentiments..especially the "rabid liberal now" part

I'm disgusted with the Dems; I've said as much in here several times..It was the ONLY way to have a voice though..I HAD to participate.

I totally agree with your heartfelt ideals about human kind: we are our brother's keeper/stewards of the earth.. I have to inject here that I AM amoung the poverty class AND a radicalized liberal. I VOTE, I'VE ALWAYS VOTED..I feel just like you do---Soical responsibilty is in EVERYONE'S best interest, not just mine.

Skinner's talking about "finding" our new balance in going forward..that's great, I'll help. BUT I will NOT CONFORM to just one ideal/one party ever again.

I too will VOTE MY CONSCIENCE. Listen, I lived throught the radical 60/70's.. It was Hectic! It was scary at times; some of us went underground FOR REAL. There IS A REVOLUTION in the making here if people will come to terms with what has happened and strap on their seat belts.

I am angry with the American people for BLINDLY voting this SCOUNDREL FASCIST PIG back into office. They DO deserve what they get..but I don't. I'm going to let my anger, like years ago, INFUSE me with acitivism in whatever way is physically possible for me.

I WILL NOT CONFORM

Peace to you Mat.......take it easy for now, then come back and join the struggle. KEEP HOPE ALIVE

[bread_and_roses]

36. You express many of my thoughts as well

I haven't quite figured out how I am going to function in the political realm from now on. I am not a Democrat, but have supported and worked for Democratic candidates. But I have decided on two changes in my behavior. I will not, for at least the next four years, ever try to convince any Bush supporter that the policies of the RW are not only ethically wrong but destructive of all fairness, justice, equality, and even life on this earth. However, nor will I take one step to ameliorate those policies. No giving to charity. No letters to get health care for ten more people in NY State while ten others are shut out of a different program. No donations or working for candidates who are "not as bad" as the opponent so we can have a slightly more bearable level of injustice. And no support for any candidate who supports war for profit.

And when someone complains that they or theirs can't get health care, or are going hungry or homeless, I intend to do nothing but remind them that that's what the country voted for - for perpetual war instead of health care, schools, living wages, food security.

And I live in a "Blue" state. But our Dems are for the most part hardly better than the Rs. Those of us who've fought for peace and justice squander our energy every year on the same battles just to keep the status quo, not for fundamental change. Well, no more for me.

They bought it, they own it, now they can have it. I doubt they'll have much joy in it unless they are in the upper 5% of income and private wealth, but so be it. They think that keeping people of the same sex out of the same bed and forced child-bearing is more important than health care and food for their own children, so be it. Since their churches and their party find it moral to burn and blow to bits the children of the world for profit and oil, let them go to their churches and Party when they are hungry, cold, out of gas and out of work.

[THUNDER HANDS]

37. Yak sex?

Is it Christmas already?

[underpants]

39. No wonder we have the same sense of humor

That pretty much sums up exactly how I feel. I don't consider myself a liberal (see how the big lie can work?) but I am pissed and I am going to stay that way. I have already thrown what happened on Tuesday back in two people's faces including my own mother.

They DO deserve what they get and watching "the news" is very hard right now. I am over the deep sadness part and the levels of "grief" bullshit is just that bullshit-I'm not grieving because I did everything I could and I AM RIGHT no doubt about it.

If they thought "liberals" looked down their nose at them before they have seen anything yet. My smart ass know it all personality just got a new fuse lit under it and people are going to get it from here on out.

Spot on Matt

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. And still there's people that will tell you that you deserve nothing for

your time. Sigh...I feel for you matcom. But, we'll get it back.

:hug: