BUSH DECLARES EARTH FLAT: Breaking news by fox

[AnIndependentTexan]

Today Bush told a Senior Adviser that the world is flat." Jesus spoke to me and told me the world is flat." He believed that God lived in the basement of the White House.

A reporter asked," Mr. President why does God live in your basement?"

The President responded," Because I have a mandate! The people have given me a mandate and God agrees!" Bush later said," God wants you to give to the Republican party. If you don't give to the republican party then you will not be allowed into Heaven."

Hearing these word Pat said," I warned the President that God doesn't live in his basement. He lives in a jar! I caught a firefly that speaks to me."

Rumors over the internets say that God lives in the basement of 9 out of 10 Americans. When asked this Bush said," Those are just rumors! Rumors I tell you that are lies. What would Tony Blair say if he heard you say God lived in his basement?"

Fox fully stands by the Presidents statement and supports his decision.

[radfringe]

1. Press Secretary Scott McClellan

just came on to clarify -- "President mispoke, world is not flat like a pancake, it is flat more like a cracker. The President also spoke to GOD -- and GOD has declared that the sun revolves around the President. Dissenters and critics will be severly punished."

[AlCzervik]

2. And when he said "Cracker" he had to further clarify

[auburngrad82]

3. If we're lucky, he stagger too close to the edge and fall off