New Year's Eve Fundie Experience

[magellan]

My husband and I did a small shop at WalMart last night around 7pm. I know, we shouldn't shop WalMart. We haven't been there in over a month. This experience has put me off them for life!! (And Mods, I'm hoping this is okay here. It does have a political point.)

We got to the checkout, and being the friendly sort I asked the young woman at the register if her shift would be ending before midnight so she could celebrate the New Year. She said yes, and went on to explain that she'd be going to church to be with her sisters and brothers. "Oh, that's nice," I replied, never suspecting what was coming.

"Are you going to church?" she asked. No, no, we replied. The look on her face! "Why not?" I was a bit shocked by the question and so I mumbled something about not practicing. But my dear husband jumped right in and gave her a blunt, "We don't believe."

The next thing we knew we were being proselytized to. I mean outright bible-thumping straight from the gospel -- as she scanned and packed our items, I might add! I thought she had finished when she said Jesus is coming...and it would be soon. Perhaps stupidly, I retorted, "I'll believe it when Bush is out of office." She didn't bat an eyelash. "If Kerry had been elected," she said, "more babies would die in abortions."

I immediately saw red. "When you all figure out how to take care of the babies born addicted to crack and heroin, and into poverty or to parents who neglect them, THEN talk to me about banning abortion."

"I love everyone. Jesus loves everyone."

"If you love everyone," I said, "then worry about the innocent women and children being killed in Iraq."

Well, she just went on reciting chapter and verse, making it clear she was a total Twilight Zone case. My husband, who's far less patient than I am, tried to put her off this tangent of biblical haranguing with a few terse words of disinterest. Nada. Finally I interrupted: "Look, I grew up Catholic. Heard it all before, all right?" She nodded...and CONTINUED. "And the Lord sent his son, blah, blah, blah...."

One of us really should have told her to button it in no uncertain terms then and there, but my husband was paying up. At that point I took advantage of her pause (no doubt to catch her breath) and leaned in close to her and said: "Let me leave you with a thought. People need to learn to vote for the good of everyone rather than for their own selfish beliefs. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," she smiled. "God bless you. God loves you."

HOPELESS!! THIS WAS A CULT MEMBER!!

We left shaken and feeling more than a little assaulted.

In my 40-something years I've never experienced this in a place of business before. And why it's happening now is no mystery. Bush** has taken the lid off the religious right and emboldened them to the point that they now feel free to proselytize anywhere...Even at work in a public business. How nice -- captive audience on the checkout line!!

When we got home my husband called the store and made a formal complaint. The supervisor and store manager were both APPALLED and said it WOULD be handled. That young woman may be out of a job for the New Year. My husband said that's all right. God will get her a new one.

So Happy New Year, fellow DUers. I think the battle with the radical right will be well and truly joined in 2005.

[Pirate Smile]

1. You are right. The lid is off. Did you see this thread?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x1113217

[magellan]

3. No I hadn't, thanks.

Threats of backlash against political leaders from the likes of Dobson or any religious right fruitcake aren't surprising. They should be ignored, but after Daschle's trouncing I wonder -- worry, actually -- what others will do. This is just so wrong....

[coloradodem2005]

2. Well. I consider myself a spiritual leftist.

In 2005, it is time to fight back with a vengance though. Because this is far enough.

[Flammable Materials]

4. More weirdness.

My wife and I went out to dinner this past week.

As our soup arrived, a child bounded over from another table up to ours, and shouted: "DON'T FORGET TO PRAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!" She wasn't cute, she was smug - a smugness she obviously learned from her parents. After saying it, she stood there for another 20 seconds at least, while we looked over at her mother to see why she wasn't demanding that her child stop annoying other patrons and sit down.

Five minutes later, the child ran back and shouted: "DID YOU REMEMBER TO PRAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY?" Again, the mother did nothing to stop her or apologize.

At that point, we flagged down a waiter and demanded to be moved. I wanted to distance myself from this child before I said something that would have put her in therapy for years.

[RC]

6. Go ahead and say it.

It is obvious the kid needs therapy already.

[Gemini Cat]

15. It would have taken every bit of self restraint (for me

at least) not to have told that brat and it's self serving stupid mother to piss off!

You're right about the smugness. I have noticed the same sort of nasty snakey-assed smugness in both the female and the male since 1980. So smug in their judgement of others. So self righteous!

[CTLawGuy]

28. I would have prayed very loudly as follows...

"dear Lord, I hope you will direct this child to sit down and stop annoying other people who are trying to eat and mind their own busniess. Amen"

[ljm2002]

30. If only I could memorize some Biblical passages...

...for incidents like the one you describe. Anyway, for future reference, here's a couple verses from Matthew 6:

"5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

[dkofos]

38. You probably would do her good to put her in therapy

I would have told her that I prayed she would choke on her desert.

[buddysmellgood]

5. God bless you! I mean...you know... the REAL god... or whatever :)

[ashmanonar]

7. yea...

this is why i am not christian anymore...(agnostic/animist with polytheistic leanings)...this kind of (not only) threats of force and violence but also this smugness of christians has taught me valuable lessons on religious tolerance (and hell, i went to the UCC, which is probably one of the most liberal and tolerant churches i've ever heard of)

ugh...makes me want to live someplace like iraq (pre-war) or egypt...moderate muslims would be much much easier to live with than fundamentalist christians...religious intolerance makes me sick. :puke:

[signmike]

8. I'm rooting around in my favorite dumpster tonight, behind the market

and I get surrounded by a homeless fundie wanting to know what I'm doing. Turns out "The Reason" I'm out of work is I'm an atheist. But he's homeless because of religious persecution.

Our respective gods/nongods are not covering for us...tsk, tsk, tsk

[XOKCowboy]

9. Do you live in Tulsa OK??

LOL I used to get that all the time when I lived there. All of the Oral Roberts University students ya know.

Keep the REAL faith.

[karlrschneider]

33. I grew up in Tulsa, there used to be LOTS of ORU students that hung

out at the Bamboo Lounge (a gay bar) :evilgrin:

[dkofos]

40. I thought oral roberts was a gay bar

[sakabatou]

10. I have yet to hear that

As my tavels have only gone to progressive areas of the country.

[beam me up scottie]

11. Love you guys! Reminds me of my dear old dad arguing

with the jehovahs. My dad was ten times more intelligent and better informed than any of them. Technically my pop won the arguements, but it really didn't count-just like it didn't count that Kerry won all three debates; you just can't reach these people. I do so hope she lost her job. Of course, if she did, she will soon sue Walmart and become the latest "christian victim".
By the way, the jehovahs no longer stop at my dad's farm, so he won a small victory too.

[driver8]

12. I have a friend who loves to debate the Jehovah's...

He is very intelligent and very well read and runs circles around these people. I'm surprised they still stop at his house.

These people are getting scary, folks. Little kids telling you to pray? I would have told that little girl to go fuck herself...

[beam me up scottie]

17. I moved to Kentucky a couple of years ago after I took a new

job with my company. I'm from Vermont so the way they do things down here just doesn't sit right with me. Less than a week after I moved into my first house, the baptists came-a-knockin. I thought they were johos at first, by these bible-thumpers are supposed to be MUCH worse. It was a woman and her teenage daughter. I listened politely to their spiel but stopped them cold with the shocking "I am NOT a christian" line. These people had never met a non-christian, they didn't know what to do. It was funny, actually. The mom asked some good questions and I was more than happy to answer them. Her daughter was very bright and asked even more questions. When the mom thought the daughter was a little TOO interested, she cut the visit short. She had realized that I wasn't going to covert. I was relieved, I had heard they were more militant than that.
Two days later I got the back-up visit. These ladies were obviously sent to 'save' me from myself. I didn't wait to hear their speech. I said something like "save me the speech ladies, I get it; you think that what you are is better than what I am so you're going to try to make me into what you are so that you can get to where you think you're going to go from here if you get enough points. Does that about cover it? Don't bother, I'm not buying what you're selling". And I shut the door on them.
I've since learned to just not answer the door. Even if the screen door is open and they can see me, I just pretend they're invisible.
But there's more of them than there are of us. And stay away from Walmart, that's where the herd gathers.

[magellan]

13. LOL, I like to have fun with the JoHo's too

One thing I haven't tried yet is answering the door donned in a long black hooded robe with a pentagram emblazoned in red on it, and holding a burning candle in one hand.

"Yessss?...." :evilgrin:

[beam me up scottie]

14. Ooooh, make sure you grow your fingernails really long and

paint them black-like Robert DeNiro in Angelheart.

[magellan]

16. LMAO!

"A shame you have to leave. You would have enjoyed our gumbo."

;-)

[hvn_nbr_2]

19. Invite them in

A friend told me that they once welcomed the door-to-door salvation salesfolks with open arms. "Oh, great, you're just in time. Please come in and join us in our ritual. We're just about to sacrifice a chicken." They declined, left, and never came back.

Another tack is Otter Zell's "other people" schtick. You have to study up a bit to pull this one off successfully but you can have them tongue-tied and baffled by what's in the first couple chapters of Genesis. Google "Otter Zell" "other people" to find many copies and variations of it.

[ashmanonar]

35. awesomeness!

i always wondered who it was that cain went out and found after leaving the land around eden...(damn bible school when i was a kid)

[dkofos]

41. Try answering the door naked.

That sends them running for the curb.

:evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[webjamn]

32. My brother had a surefire way

to get Jehovah's or Mormons to leave him alone. The front door of his house is on the side of his house and unless your looking directly down the walkway on the side he is shielded from view. When he would see them in his neighborhood he would step outside and water his plants with his pants around his ankles. As soon as the 'preachers' would start up the walkway they would see him and turn around fast. Works every time.

[Piperay]

18. Glad you reported her

someone like should not be waiting on the public. I hope she does lose her job then maybe she will have some empathy for the less fortunate.

[ElectroPrincess]

20. I'm in awe ...

Try being on the "front lines" as a practicing liberal Catholic? It's frightening but I will NOT give up on the good works within our parish. Mind you, I was more than a little taken aback when I saw my fellow parishioners hand out Bush 04 stickers and *yard signs* in the church parking lot.

No, you have my complete empathy because these RW Christians are in dire need of deprogramming:

"NO! It's not alright to HATE in the name of the Lord. <sigh> And YES! Love thy neighbor and uphold our Country's prime foundation that DEMANDS The Separation of Church and State."

If any of my fellow DUers believe in God, please pray that those of of us liberal Christians can make a difference to help our RW brethren to honestly stop preaching and practice the true Love of God in good works for the poor and disenfranchised.

Yeah, you were very polite ... some of these folks are sick puppies who are almost beyond help.

[Stinky The Clown]

21. Let the lid come off of this crap. Let them say what they want

Long and Loud, I say!

Let them shout from the rooftops!

Because your reaction was absolutely mainstream normal. People are not going to put up with this. And when "normally" religious people start to *really* see who they're in league with, they'll get the point.

[Shopaholic]

22. I was raised Southern Baptist--

let me tell you-telling them you're Catholic doesn't slow them down one bit. A shockingly high percentage of the born-agains believe that you're basically practicing witchcraft if you're Catholic. The hatred I've seen expressed towards the Catholic church by these so-called Christians is frightening to say the least.

The Wal-Mart preacherette you encountered no doubt thinks she was doing as the Bible commanded her to do-preach the word. Of course, the Bible also commands that we not only pray for our enemies, but that we love them too. And that we minister to the sick, the poor, and the less fortunate among us. All parts of the Bible that the right-wing fundies have skipped so they can persecute and prosecute us liberals. Ain't AmeriKKKa great????

[DemVIctory]

24. The next time a fundie says

that more babies would've been aborted under Kerry, tell them that the statistics cast great doubt on that ascertion. Over the last 20+ years abortions have gone up with an R prez and down with a D prez.

[BlueCollar]

25. Have you got a source for that?

I'd love to be able to quote that when the topic is brought up by my fundie co-workers.

[ashmanonar]

36. yea

i had a similar experience in the library on my campus once...i was sitting with my laptop (our campus gives them out) and i had headphones on, but didn't have music playing right then...
i heard some people talking (they were members of campus crusade for christ, a really really really fundamentalist group) and they were talking about a retreat (*cough cult gathering cough* and i heard one say "we'll have some catholics coming with us, so don't start any arguments...remember, they're christians too" and i just about lost it...didn't say anything, but wow...the idiocy of these people and their temporal ignorance bothers me beyond all belief.

[DoYouEverWonder]

23. Next time you go to WalMart or run into another fundie

just give them this little 'holy' card that I made. Then watch their heads explode. It's so much fun.

[leesa]

26. Amazing. But I am glad the battle is beginning because it has been

festering for so long. The rest of the country MUST wake up to what is going on in these "gop christian churches". Normal religious people need to try to get a handle on these folks, if possible, by teaching them about Jesus and a more balanced interpretation of the bible.

[The Flaming Red Head]

27. They knock on our door a lot here in Ark.

We had a fundamentalist knock on our door a few weeks back. I’m not nice and I don’t like being disturbed in my home by idiots, so the first thing I ask them is who they voted for and then they get my burning-bush-anti-war lecture. The last time (I live in Arkansas so it happens a lot) this took place the girl who knocked was in her early 20s and my 17 year old son thought she was hot. So he ran outside and let her read the bible to him on the front porch while he stared at her breast, anyway she finally left. I laughed at him and he “well Mom she was good looking” (she didn’t have on a wedding ring and looked young)

The next morning was Sunday and about 8am, which is early for us, someone banged on my door really hard (like a police knock) Bam, Bam, Bam. There was a thin man outside in a suit and I asked what he wanted and he said he came to bring my son to church and that he was the husband of the ‘HOT’ girl from the day before. I told him my son was sleeping because he was out late on Saturday night with his friends. The man demanded that I wake him for church. So yelled to the next room “Hey the husband of the lady is here and he wants to bring you to church. Do you want to go?” He yelled back. “I don’t want to go to church with anyone’s husband.” and went back to sleep.

The gentleman stood there for a minute looking at me as though I were some kind of witch from Hell for not forcing my son to go to church. And I said “you see that John Kerry sign in my yard? That’s who I voted for and I am a Christian, but I disapprove of you and your church and your politics( he represented a very conservative church in our area) so you needn’t look at me like that.” He turned away disgusted and I haven’t heard from them since.

[Patsy Stone]

29. I would have called the Manager immediately

at the checkout line and explain that you were about to make a purchase, but this outburst has caused you to never shop there again.

I would have made a scene.

[InvisibleBallots]

31. That's what you get for shopping at Walmart

:shrug:

[Tony_Illinois]

34. Get more assertive--I would have stated firmly that I was not interested

in anything but getting checked out. Period. She should not have asked about your going to church at midnight. "I do not discuss religion with check-out clerks" would have been appropriate.

And more important and urgent, stay out of the effing WalMart!

[dkofos]

37. I wish that would happen to me.

I might just take the next two hours standing at that register holding up the line telling that person what I really think of her religion.
I wouldn't mind getting the stupid bitch fired.

[catbert836]

39. Why anyone would go to church on the New Year

It just blows my mind. I'm a churchgoer, but I wouldn't go to church on New Year or preach to someone who dosn't believe. It's just not the kind of guy I am.

[Debs]

42. My late wife was a brillian woman

Who knew the bible better than anyone I have ever known. We invited the Jehova Witnesses in and she told them there are two ground rules, first you are not here to teach us anything we will talk about anything you want as equals and second I dont want to hear about anything someone from your organization wrote about the bible, there is the bible we can talk about it all you want. After an hour the almost sprinted away and never returned. She blew them away with her biblical knowledge and tied them in knots with her logic. They called a couple of times and we invited them back telling them we werent interested in their tracts but were glad to talk to them anytime they wanted. They werent interested

[Mabel Dodge]

43. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so much...

this thread has some great stories and I have one to contribute. A friend of mine lived in a neighborhood that was always under assault by the Jehovah people. It was a convenient neighborhood to proselytize in as the houses were built close together. After months of not being able to sleep in on the weekends, she posted a hand made sign that said "Church of the Holy Swine". That seemed to quickly take care of the problem, I admired her ingenuity.

[magellan]

44. LOL

Thanks for this and the other funny stories and good advice you all have shared.

As for how we dealt with this woman, understand, this was our first experience with such a radical person...She made the JoHo's we've encountered in the past sound agnostic!! We'll be better prepared for future encounters.

[tanyev]

45. Go back there and run this idea past her.

Be ready to duck when her brain explodes.

Since WalMart is the biggest player in using Chinese companies (or forcing American companies to move manufacturing to China) for goods and contributing to our huge trade deficit

and China is the only country that FORCES married women to abort healthy and desired children

ipso facto--- WalMart supports FORCED ABORTION!!

All credit to AZDemDist6 in this thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x1409806

[nascarblue]

46. I would have sued.

Im so sick of these evangelicals. I would have gone off and complained to the manager at least. I surely wouldnt have bought the items. Do not ever go to Wal Mart. We'll never get anywhere unless we all start seriously boycotting these monster corporations. Check out these two documenataries, one is on these republican Evagelicals, one is on the corrupt corporate political structure.

http://www.theocracywatch.org/av/liberty.wmv

http://911busters.com/video/IQ1_20_END_OF_SUBURBIA_VIDEO_24.2_.html