So, I saw my first Iraq War Amputee today

[Eloriel]

And his wife.

They were ahead of me in the checkout. I wanted so much to talk to them, but I didn't know what to say. There wasn't enough time for me to collect my thoughts and accost them.

He was so young. Christ, I'm not sure he is even old enough to legally drink. Slender in that barely past the teens way, and nearly bald with one of those military haircuts. And then there was the stump of his left arm, hidden under the sleeve of the t-shirt. I hope he wasn't left-handed. The stump wasn't totally useless, he could tuck his checkbook under it.

They didn't look too happy, this very, very young couple. Strained, distracted or depressed, it was hard to say. Maybe they'd argued. Maybe it was just difficult living this new life. I don't know, and probably never will.

I'm so sorry I let them out of my life. I wanted to ask him if he lost his arm in Iraq (or Afghanistan). "Army or Marines?... Will you be getting a nice prosthesis?... Are you being well taken care of by the military?... Are you out now? ... Are you okay?... Thank you for serving, but that doesn't work very well in this situation, does it? Sorry isn't quite enough. ... Do you think it was worth it?....I'm so sorry. Please know that I and many others did everything we could think of to prevent exactly this, and so very much more because we knew in our hearts there weren't any WMD and it would be another Vietnam...."

No, I wouldn't have said all that, but some of it, you bet, yes I would have. I dont' intend to let any other opportunities get away from me in he future.

So I cried all the way home, as if that helps anyone. (Seems like I do a lot of crying these days -- more and more all the time.)


Edit -- This seems appropriate

dulce et decorem est. Please read this poem if you haven't read it lately
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=2996146#2996878

[Cheswick2.0]

1. He is probably younger than my 22 year old.

Ian's friends are being sent to Iraq and Ian is becoming a fan of Michael Moore. His Fraternity brothers don't know what to make of him anymore. The good thing is that he is a leader who he has a chance to influence the younger guys.

I am sorry Eloriel. I wish we never had to face this mess again...it's just like the 60s all over again.

[MountainLaurel]

6. Just like the 60s all over again

That's a very, very accurate statement

My best friend from high school was relating to me an incident recently that involved her mother. A 19-year-old from their hometown with an 18-year-old wife and a baby on the way was killed a few months ago in Iraq. Jeannette (my friend's mother) went to the funeral home for the viewing to pay her respects. She walked in and nearly fell to her knees in shock -- the sight took her back 35 years to when she was a high school girl going to the funerals of hometown boys she knew. It was that much like Vietnam for her.

[Lugnut]

10. It is like the 60s

After Viet Nam I thought we'd never see anything like it again. Boy! Was I wrong. :(

[Warpy]

2. Where did it happen?

and "Thank you very much for volunteering to serve" are always appropriate. I worked in a VA long enough to know nobody likes being grilled about where or what happened, but general questions are OK and a thank you is always appreciated.

Remember, they aren't the problem. They're as much victims of this monster in the White House as the Iraqis are.

[Eloriel]

3. Oh, good heavenes!

What on earth could I have said in my post to make you think you needed to say this:

Remember, they aren't the problem. Remember, they aren't the problem.

My heart is BROKEN that there is even one beautiful young man who will face the rest of his long, long life in this detrimented way. The whole damn war was not IMO worth this young man's arm.

Thanks tho for the tips on what to say. That was the main thing (well, and the line) keeping me from talking to him/them.

[beam me up scottie]

5. Actually Warpy's right to remind some (not you)

of that fact.
I asked for some compassion for the soldiers in another thread and got thoroughly slimed.
Thank you for thinking so much about that man and his wife. I thought I was the only one who made myself cry worrying about people. I wish everybody could put themselves in their place.

[Eloriel]

11. Thank you. n/t

[Warpy]

8. That was a general response

just a bit of advice. No offense was meant, and no assumptions about you personally were made.

I gave the tips because I'm afraid we're going to see a lot more like him. They're in the tens of thousands now (27,000 was the figure someone quoted me tonight), and it's not over yet.

I remember Vietnam, and how a lot of people who were mostly too young to know any better thought the returning soldiers were part of the problem, and it was to that sort of mindset that my last line was directed.

[Eloriel]

12. Thank you, too, Warpy

Sorry to have unnecessarily personalized it.

I am So hoping that the one lesson we actually may have learned from Vietnam is not to blame the troops. But never a bad idea to work on making sure.

[janx]

4. I had a student last semester who was an Iraq vet.

He wasn't messed up physically, but he had to register with disability services because of PTS, depression, etc. He was on various drugs, so his sleeping schedule was chaotic. Once they got him on some better meds, he improved greatly. He seemed like a totally different guy. He grew some hair back and wore different clothes. His eyes became bright instead of dull. He caught up with all of his work.

He'll have more setbacks, no doubt, and his recovery is/was not permanent; he knows that.

He was able to write an essay about when one of the soldiers he was with got his foot blown off by a land mine. He did not (and I did not encourage him to) write about more gruesome experiences, one of which was a prolonged period of "mortuary duty" which involved hauling dead bodies.

I'll never forget this kid. He's extremely bright and dedicated. I hope so much that he gets better and that he doesn't suffer too many setbacks.

[marcologico]

7. Pretty damn sad. n/t

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

9. Let's make a point to let them know we are thinking of them.........

......when we get the chance. If we work at it, we'll be doing more than the gutless cowards who vote for Bush and "support the troops" from the safety of their mommy van or while watching FAUX News.