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Guess who's going to the Super Bowl...Why it's "SUPER JESUS"!!!

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givemebackmycountry Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:34 PM
Original message
Guess who's going to the Super Bowl...Why it's "SUPER JESUS"!!!
That's right!

Old JC is going to the Super Bowl and these here fine people are spreading the word!

Not the normal, blessed are the meek, love your neighbor, and care for the poor Jesus...

NO WAY!

That's not enough.
We're all so godless and evil we need SUPER JESUS!!



In a New York Times article on Sunday, David Garrett said; "When they look at Jacksonville, I want them to see loving people who care about their city," he said. "I want them to see Jesus."

Holy Shit!

And I was hoping to see "Girls gone Wild" but if Jesus is going to be there, that may be a problem.

Jacksonville is "blessed" said David Burton, director for evangelism for the Florida Baptist Convention. "Even our radio personalities and TV news anchors are very much strong and bold in their convictions, which slip out sometimes. We are very blessed here, whereas you go to some other cities in the nation where maybe the Super Bowl is being played, it seems like darkness, like the evidence of Satan is heavy there."

That's right New Orleans, San Diego, Miami, Atlanta and Houston.
Your recent Super Bowl celebrations were tainted by who?

SATAN!!! That's who. And they got the evidence!

My beloved Broncos won in San Diego and Miami in Super Bowls 32 and 33.

Now I have even MORE respect for them, because not only did they have to battle the Packers and the Falcons, now I find out they were also battling SATAN!

Holy Shit, taking Reggie White and Brett Farve out was nothing compared to sacking SATAN!!

Sigh...

You know, believe what you want to believe in.
I have no problem with that.
Actually, I could care less.

Super Jesus in Jacksonville?
How bat shit insane is that?

I'm thinking old JC has been busy these past few weeks in places like Darfur, Indonesia's Aceh Province, Falluja and Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Plus, with all the corporate swine snapping up all the tickets, I'm thinking even Jesus would have a hard time getting a ducat.

But, he could always go check out his fine work over at the "Girls gone Wild" tent.


(Less then two paragraphs from the NYT article are used in this post)
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Mr. Blonde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
1. They better be careful
it seems like Super Satan can't be far behind.

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hiley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
2. Link ?
to the original statement .
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CatholicEdHead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. Still on with Janet's "Wardrobe malfunction"
"Your recent Super Bowl celebrations were tainted by who?

SATAN!!! That's who. And they got the evidence!"

That is the underling tone of this crap.
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XanaDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
4. And this is the armpit we live in
there are NO WORDS to describe what living here is like.

Super Fundie, and Duval County is proud to have tipped the FL election over to Bush.

This is the place where they taser students.

This is the place where the ACLU and the feds are currently in examining civil right violations.

You can rest assured that the Gate-Gas millionaire who became the mayor will make sure all those pesky poor people and slummy neighborhoods won't get coverage when the STooper bowl comes here.

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CrispyQ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:40 PM
Response to Original message
5. I think Doomsday Jesus would be more appropriate . . .
kill your past and all you thought you knew
blacked out, hatred running through & through
horsemen rolls, tomorrow's fading fast
make damn sure, aint nothings gonna last
ohhh
ohhh
doomsday jesus we need you now
oooh
oooh
doomsday jesus we need you now

Souls that bleed have nowhere left to run
blind the crucifix and shoot the gun
generals speak, we leave a trail of dead
keep on killing 'til theres nothing left

ohhh
ohhh
doomsday jesus we need you now
oooh
oooh
doomsday jesus we need you now

~~Zakk Wylde & Black Label Society
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XanaDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. The Super Bowel next week is gonna be interesting
here in Jesusland.

Last night, we had widespread electric blackout because, according to the local news anchors with the convictions, of a light rain.

There has been some real concerns as to whether or not J-ville is ready for the influx of people. So, they may be calling out to Jesus depending on what happens. NOt enough hotel rooms. The weather has been awful. They are still working on streets here. Traffic is a nightmare.

Yup, JESUS!
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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #7
19. surely Jesus can find a manger
to crash in for the game.
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givemebackmycountry Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
6. linky-dinky
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Kerrytravelers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:45 PM
Response to Original message
8. Link!!!!! You forgot the link!!!!!
Edited on Sun Jan-30-05 01:53 PM by Kerrytravelers
:bounce:



EDITED TO ADD: Never mind........ :hi:
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meegbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
9. And here he is making the winning touchdown!
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Al-CIAda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. That looks like an illegal forward hand-off, but as Jesus says,
Edited on Sun Jan-30-05 01:58 PM by Al-CIAda
'Judge not lest ye be judged.

..so the refs don't stand a chance against SJ.
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Darknyte7 Donating Member (687 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 09:58 AM
Response to Reply #14
28. No, that's definetely an illegal forward lateral!
However the rules of the game don't apply to JC.

Go JC!! Go!!!
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Bzzzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. LMAO
:evilgrin:
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #9
22. Jesus!
Look out for the goal pos- Oooooooooo... ow.
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
10. I wonder if Belicheck can devise a defensive scheme to stop SUPER JESUS
if anyone can he can
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thecrow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
11. What's with the girlsl in white dresses in the picture?
Are they the vestal virgins?
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donco6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
12. So "plain ol' Jesus" isn't good enough?
Jesus. I thought fundies were nuts before . . .
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gizmo1979 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
13. Does he have a cape?
Maybe Michael Irvin will get an interview, now there's a scoop!
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Bzzzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
16. I wonder...
what the 'Super Jesus' suit looks like? Gives a whole new meaning to 'caped crusader'.;-)
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
17. I'd like to see their faces if they actuallly got into the game
and heard the HORRIBLE language at NFL games.
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vpigrad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 02:05 PM
Response to Original message
18. The people that watch that stuff...
are scary! I made the mistake of eating at a Hooters one Monday night while that ABC Monday night crap was on. That was a scary experience. I was working out of town without a car, and that was the only place within walking distance so I stayed. Otherwise, I would have left immediately.
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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. Yeah right!
I find that looking at the Hooters chicks always ruins my appitite too.
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Telly Savalas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
21. Does SuperJesus think Philly can beat the spread?
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Gold Metal Flake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 09:16 PM
Response to Original message
23. SUPER JESUS!! Because regular Jesus is a PUSSY!!
Makes a fine bumper sticker.
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FreedomAngel82 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 09:44 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Something on your sig
Opposite Reaction. Who is the lady at the end with the black hair? I don't recognize her.
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Gold Metal Flake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 09:50 AM
Response to Reply #24
27. Sibel Edmonds

Former FBI Translator who has alleged great criminal activity by people in the Gov. with regard to 9-11. Currently under a Bush Justice Dept. gag order, but still speaking out in as much as she can.

http://www.justacitizen.com/


http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=04/03/31/1616221


http://www.antiwar.com/deliso?articleid=2917
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JunkYardDogg Donating Member (618 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
25. The Super Jesus Borg vs. the Secular American Infidels
The real Super Bowl is the Super Jesus Borg, led by starting Quarterback, Super Jesus,against the American Secular Infidels
Sunday, Sunday
See "Jesus Gone Wild"
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Neshanic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
26. If Super Jesus is playing, he better be tested for roids.
That robe is tighter on him than it was in his Jerusalem farm league days. Was Conte recently saved?

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zanana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 10:02 AM
Response to Original message
29. That's a sickness.
Some people use religion like a drug.
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JunkYardDogg Donating Member (618 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 11:10 AM
Response to Original message
30. Meat Puppets on Parade
Burn Godless Secular Infidels
We're goin' burn you AND your GODLESS Constitution
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 11:16 AM
Response to Original message
31. GOOD!
the Pat's need more help in their secondary
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