Jockey and Hanes Wooing Saddam To Be New Ad Campaign Spokesperson.....

[global1]

Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 12:01am

Amid the controversy of the revealing Saddam pics, fierce competition is brewing between Jockey and Hanes - underware giants -
to secure Saddam Hussein for their spokesperson for a new ad campaign that will beam out globally.

A spokesperson for Hanes - says that Saddam has the same "star appeal" globally as that of Michael Jordan.

Jockey feels that they have the inside track because their campaign would feature "camel racing" of which Saddam is a big fan.
Their new line of underware would be called "CamelJockey".

Another Madison Avenue ad agency feels that Saddam could go on to become the spokesperson for a line of men's cologne's.
Names contemplated for the new cologne are either "Saddam" or "Dictator". The agency is currently conducting focus groups
to see which name has more appeal to women from 'red states'. A successful run in the men's fragrance business could blossom
into a line of men's fashion clothes for Saddam as well. The clothes line would be a mix of the military look with a western business
suit look - both formal and unassuming at the same time.

A unnamed White House source took issue with Saddam's cologne being called "Dictator" saying that lawyers for the president
have already trademarked that name for GWB's cologne product line when he leaves office.

In A Related Late Breaking News Report From Home Depot a spokesperson from the company says Home Depot wants to get in
on the Saddam groundswell, "There is a spot for Saddam to promote Home Depot's plywood offerings based on how comfortable
Saddam appears in his plywood prison." He went on to say, "we are furiously trying to get in touch with Saddam's people before
Lowes gets to him."

Fox Network's has announced a new show for their fall lineup. Donald Trump and Martha Stewart move over.

Announced Friday May 20, 2005 at Noon EST by Saddam's "Worldwide Underpants Production Company"

Saddam will be launching a variation of the Apprentice program on the Fox Network.

The premise for the show is to "find a new dictator" for Iraq.

Casting calls will go out next week to begin the interview process to find the contestants that will vie for the title of
"The New Iraqi Dictator".

Word has it that George W. Bush along with Ahmed Chalabi will audition for this new show.

A spokesperson for Fox says, "Trump has his signature hair-do and tagline ' Your Fired' - Saddam will have his signature mustache
and his tagline will be 'Your Beheaded'.

The candidate that will be able to outlast asassination attempts, car-bombings and suicide bombers while at the same time make
deals with the CIA for munitions and protection - will be heralded as "The New Iraqi Dictator".
Contestants that won't be up to the challenges will be eliminated (no pun intended) by Saddam when he says 'Your Beheaded'.
They will be immediately wisked away in a Humvee to the center of Baghdad - where Saddam's statue once stood and be
put to death.

Fox is negotiating with Donald Rumsfeld and Condi Rice to be a judges and sit at his side like George and Carolyn.

Look for it in the fall lineup at Fox.

Fox is also contemplating another new show "Extreme Embassy Makeover". They are negotiating with Congress for more money.

In a related story - GWB is said to become the spokesperson for a new computer game called "Sim City Iraq".

[Vektor]

1. Now THAT'S entertainment.

I'd like to see GWB and Saddam both in the same underwear ad - featuring the tighty whities and the boxer briefs.

[Jose Diablo]

2. Looks to me like the brand name of his 'dainties' are

Fruit of the Loom, did anybody turn-up the back seam to look?