Bush Administration Revises Downing Street Memo

[Purrfessor]

You knew it was only a matter of time before they did this.


From: Matthew Rycroft
Date: 23 July 2002
S 195 /02

cc: Defence Secretary, Foreign Secretary, Attorney-General, Sir Richard Wilson, John Scarlett, Francis Richards, CDS, C, Jonathan Powell, Sally Morgan, Alastair Campbell

IRAQ: PRIME MINISTER'S MEETING, 23 JULY

Copy addressees and you met the Prime Minister on 23 July to discuss Iraq.

This record is extremely sensitive. No further copies should be made. It should be shown only to those with a genuine need to know its contents.

John Scarlett summarised the intelligence and latest JIC assessment. Saddam's regime was tough and based on extreme fear. The only way to overthrow it was likely to be by initiating a spam attack, thereby forcing Saddam to hide in a rat hole where he would later be discovered, arrested and have his picture broadcast around the world dressed only in his underwear.

Saddam was worried and expected a spam attack, but he was not convinced that it would be immediate or overwhelming. He did, however, insist on changing into clean underwear on an hourly basis.

<snip>

C reported on his recent talks in Washington. There was a perceptible shift in attitude. Military action was now seen as avoidable, since spam is a more formidable and feared weapon than the weapons possessed by the military. Bush wanted to remove Saddam, though spamming action, justified by the conjunction of terrorism and WMD, was to be used only in the event Saddam refused to admit that he either had WMD, had some WMD, had no WMD, or didn’t know whether or not he had any WMD. But the intelligence and facts were in no way being fixed around the policy; The NSC had plenty of patience with the UN route, and immeasurable enthusiasm for publishing material on the Iraqi regime's record. There was little discussion in Washington of the aftermath after UN action.


There's more but you get the idea.

[Jackpine Radical]

1. But WMD was only the cover story.

They were really afraid that Saddam had stockpiles of canned spam ready to release on the world, which is why we had to go in right away with a massive DOS (Denial of Spam) attack. Sadly, scurrilous Saddam slipped his spam into Syria. He thought thereby to save his bacon, but Halliburton then entered the scene with its pork barrel projects and mortified the Imams, whose Muslim morals precluded pork, which of course is why Halliburton had to import infidels.

[Toots]

2. Well I for one don't care for spam better bomb Syria immediately

:shrug:

[Purrfessor]

3. So the question is..........

Would Americans have supported a DOS attack designed to protect the US from Saddam's stockpile of canned spam?

It is now alleged that Saddam smuggled all of his canned spam not into Syria, but into Hawaii of all places. I saw proof of it on a recent segment of Emeril Live (Food Network show).

Emeril's Hawaiian guest chef prepared spam dishes while Emeril prepared ham dishes.

Does this mean we have to attack Hawaii?

[Jackpine Radical]

4. Sun of the beach--

I think I just figured out where Osama is. He is with KiKi receiving dialysis and having his intelligence fixed. Why Kiki, you ask? Therein lies the clue, but all clues lie in Bushworld.

[Bravo411]

5. Hawai would have sided with Saddam...

They do loves their spam. If you've ever been there, then you know what I mean.