My letter to the White House

[magellan]

To the White House Family:

I am very sorry to report that three of your children -- Georgie, Dickie, and little Karl -- continue to exhibit extreme antisocial behavior at daycare. They are, to put it bluntly, ruthless little monsters.

Dickie orders everyone around and has twice fomented insurrections against the playground staff, ostensibly in a bid for 'freedom'. We later discovered he and Georgie wanted to lay claim to all the fruit juice. Thankfully Dickie spends most of the day asleep in the cupboard.

Karl, when he isn't bribing other children to play with Georgie (whose habit of breaking things when he doesn't get his way makes them understandably reluctant), spends his time signing the names of his enemies to the most vulgar creations -- always in black crayon.

Each lies without compunction, and refuses to back down even when confronted with the truth. Not one of them has a shred of respect for authority. They ignore disciplining, take disturbing pleasure in sowing disharmony and -- most worrying -- seem to have no ability to empathize with the pain they inflict on others. And the mouths on them! Let me just say that a bar of soap can do wonders, but in this case I would urge a complete exorcism.

In my last letter I suggested you take a firmer hand with them at home. I suspect my advice was not taken seriously, as the behavior of your other children, Condi and Donny, has deteriorated as well. Donny has adopted the persona of an Abrams tank and roams about growling and knocking down anyone in his way. After one such episode today, Condi leapt on another little girl who was crying, and throttled her.

I have consulted with our specialist about these incidents. He is likewise horrified, and believes that nothing short of intensive drug therapy will keep your children from growing into full-blown sociopaths who gleefully take their violent notions out on the rest of society. For that reason, and for the safety of all concerned, the White House children will no longer be welcome at our daycare.

Please lock these terrors up and consider birth control.

Regretfully,
Mr. and Mrs. America

P.S. We are in the process of investigating a number of thefts from the community toy chest. Your children will be expected to appear for questioning.

[Independent_Liberal]

1. Ha!

Great letter!

[magellan]

3. Thanks, from another independent liberal!

I suppose it might land me on a list, or I'll receive a donation request from the RNC. More than likely it'll just be ignored. Doesn't matter. It felt good letting them know what smegs they are. :)

[Evergreen Emerald]

2. Awesome!

I love it...I am sending it to all my friends (if you don't mind!)

[magellan]

4. Please do!

I'm happy to share a giggle at the expense of BushCo!