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whistle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-15-05 08:56 AM
Original message
You'll see why I did not post this under "Science"
NEW ELEMENT CALLED GOVERNMENTIUM

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet discovered. The new element has been named governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12
assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

You will know it when you see it.
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atommom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-15-05 09:08 AM
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1. I think we reached Critical Morass 5 years ago!
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Talismom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-15-05 09:14 AM
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2. ROFL! Love it and am sending it to lots of my fellow lab worker! n/t
:rofl:
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stillcool Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-15-05 09:18 AM
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3. thanks for the chuckle.....
i haven't been around for a while due to conflicting realities wreaking havoc with my questionable sanity. Today I couldn't resist and am grateful for the humor!
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Oversea Visitor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-15-05 09:37 AM
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4. HEhe
:applause: I am stealing this hey.
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CrispyQ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-15-05 09:45 AM
Response to Original message
5. Terrific!
Sending it to everyone in my address book.

Thanks for sharing!
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