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RepublicanPress.com (satire) Freedom Is Exploding In Iraq!

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republicanpress Donating Member (95 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-21-05 11:17 AM
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RepublicanPress.com (satire) Freedom Is Exploding In Iraq!



Liberal Media Lies About Iraq
By RPC Staff
Jul 19, 2005, 21:01

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Facts below are verifiable on the 700 Club website.

WHY DIDN'T WE KNOW?? Answer: OUR MEDIA WOULDN'T TELL US!


Instead of reflecting our love for our country, we get photos of flag burning incidents at Abu Ghraib and people throwing snowballs at presidential motorcades. Instead of standing firm behind President Bush, we get
the liberal media investigating Karl Rove - a fine American - about a liberal spy. Ronald Reagan once said, "Tear down this wall and I will bring back the rain!"


DID YOU KNOW THIS?

Did you know that 47 countries have re-established their embassies in Iraq? And, only 42 of those have been fire bombed, did you know?

Did you know that the Iraqi current government employs 1.2 million Iraqi people? 1.2. million Iraqis are now part of the problem; for we all know "big" GOVERNMENT is the real problem!

Did you know that 3100 schools have been renovated, 364 schools are under rehabilitation, 263 schools are now under construction and 38 new schools have been built in Iraq? And, that in these new schools teenage Iraqis are being taught by liberal Iraqi school teachers! A recent survey showed that 4 out 6 Iraqi schools are teaching homosexuality as a lifestyle, and Iraqi girls are having abortions!

Did you know that Iraq's higher educational structure consists of 20 Universities, 46 Institutes or colleges and 4 research centers, all currently operating. . . well, a lot of these high institutions are now specializing
in a variety of vocations, such as auto repair, building trades, and of course, suicide bombing.

Did you know that 25 Iraqi students departed for the United States in January 2005 for the re-established Fulbright program? These 25 kids flew first class from the Baghdad Airport, but of the 25 Iraqi students only one said he wanted to go back to Iraq.

Did you know that the Iraqi Navy is operational?! They have 5- 100-foot patrol craft, 34 smaller vessels and a navel infantry regiment. "We are in the Navy now, and we love it!" said one Iraqi sailor. A sad note: of the 5 - 100 foot boats only 1 can float, and on that boat the entire crew has turned queer.

Did you know that Iraq's Air Force consists of three operational squadrons, which includes 9 reconnaissance and 3 US C-130 transport aircraft (under Iraqi operational control) which operate day and night, and will soon add 16 UH-1 helicopters and 4 bell jet rangers? "These babies don't explode like cars do!" said one Iraqi

Did you know that Iraq has a counter-terrorist unit and a Commando Battalion? And, this unit recently captured somebody! "You never know in this business." said an Iraq general who wished not to be identified, fearing for his life.

Did you know that the Iraqi Police Service has over 55,000 fully trained police officers? In the next five years, every one in five of these police will actually carry guns! These well trained cops even like donuts! More Iraqis have tried to join the Police Service, but they are afraid for their safety. 55,000 fully trained Police in a nation
of 23 million. . . . .damn . . .I mean . . .it's a start!

Did you know that there are 5 Police Academies in Iraq that produce over 3500 new officers each 8 weeks? Damn, pretty good considering the Iraqi fire-department isn't worth a shit.

Did you know there are more than 1100 building projects going on in Iraq? They include 364 schools, 67 public clinics, 15 hospitals, 83 railroad stations, 22 oil facilities, 93 water facilities and 69 electrical facilities. 500 Halliburton office buildings, 100 crack houses, 2000 whore houses, and over 200 Iraqi interstate rest areas clearly marked for the discreet Iraqi queer.

Did you know that 96% of Iraqi children under the age of 5 have received the first 2 series of polio vaccinations? Some of these Iraqi kids even vowed to kill an American when they got older!

Did you know that 4.3 million Iraqi children were enrolled in primary school by mid October? And, 3.6. million Iraqi kids now admit to having sex before marriage. 4.2 million Iraqi kids learned to rig cars to explode. 2 Iraqi kids say that the war was worth the price paid.

Did you know that there are 1,192,000 cell phone subscribers in Iraq and phone use has gone up 158%? Hell, how do you think they get those cars to explode?

Did you know that Iraq has an independent media that consist of 75 Fox News radio stations, 180 Rupert Murdoch newspapers and 10 tv preacher channels sponsored by the 700 Club and Trinity broadcasting!

Did you know that the Baghdad Stock Exchange opened in June of 2004? WOW! Now you can invest in BAGHDAD SEX TOYS a fine Iraqi company that makes sex toys for the discreet Iraqi woman. BAGHDAD SEX TOYS COMPANY makes: rubber camel dicks, vibrating dildos, motion lotion, fire proof rubbers, blow-up camel sex dolls, fire bomb proof fake tits, fake dog poop, watches, cameras, televisions, oil and oil by-products, and WMD.

Did you know that 2 candidates in the Iraqi presidential election had a televised debate recently? And, these 2 candidates called each other names and both declared a Jihad just for the hell of it!

OF COURSE WE DIDN'T KNOW!

WHY DIDN'T WE KNOW?-OUR MEDIA WOULDN'T TELL US!

The lack of accentuating the positive in Iraq serves two purposes. It is intended to undermine the world's perception of the United States thus minimizing consequent support, and it is intended to discourage American citizens. If the media won't present the news......then it's up to us to spread the news......pass this on.....to friends and family
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